AIBU to expect proper condom disposal and not being left inside me?

[Slv199]

I was with my exH for over 20 years and I’ve not had many sexual partners. I’m not sure about “condom etiquette” and it’s something not talked about.

My exH would always take the condom off and throw it in the bathroom bin. This is what I expect.

I’ve found my new partner just leaves it in the bed, which is gross and I worry my kids might find them. On other occasions I’ve found them inside me the next time I’ve gone to the loo. Which obviously leaves me worried I might get pregnant.

As I don’t have much experience I wondered what others think. AIBU to expect him to put the condom in the bin? Or at least tell me where he left it and definitely not leave it inside me!

I didn’t see you had the coil when you last posted. So you’re unlikely to be pregnant. You honestly do not need this waste of space in your life. Better off lonely.

Honestly, I'd rather have a bit of loneliness and a few select, good friends than settle for just any man.

A rubbish man will not make you feel less lonely. It's more likely that a rubbish man and no friends will make the loneliness much, much worse. Because you'll be being made miserable AND have no friends.

People are trying to help you. Make some friends, build a life for yourself and don't just sleep with a man because he's shown interest. Be picky. It's what every woman should do.

Please do not stay with him.

When you finish having dex how does the clear up go?

im so confused. Do you not see him take it off and tie it etc?

or do you just go to sleep straight after?

mo one gets up to pee or clean up?

Just when you think you’ve read everything on here. I mean is there no point at all after finishing sex that any part of his mind thinks ‘Hmmm that’s a bit odd, I wonder where that used condom went?, I’m sure it was around here somewhere…’ #looks briefly inside gf’s vag# ….. Aha! There you are!

Next time I won’t ask I’ll just assume it’s what everyone does.

I’ve not had sex with him since he ignored my discussion about the condom. I won’t have sex with him again.

Just to be sure I’ll never leave my house or have sex again.

Just so I’m clear how long do I have to know someone before I have sex with them?

But how????

im so confused at how this happens and no one notices??

I mean I get up to get cleaned up or wash my hands etc. I assumed most people do or am I the weird one? Which I light be! Don’t get me wrong. Km
happy to hear if others just lay there after or whatever.

No OP! You are NOT An idiot at all!’n

you’ve just got a bad boyfriend. Glad to hear your dumping him xx

I’ve never felt the need to watch someone take a condom off before. Of course now I will. I’ve never seen a condom tied before either.

I usually just go to sleep on his chest afterwards.

You should never ever ever tell a woman that’s worried and scared about sec that they’re disgusting.

as a woman I want another woman to be able to discuss it! OP or in fact any WOMAN who needs advice about sex. I will always talk. Never feel upset or uncomfortable

But this one is really grim

Oh OP. I feel sorry for you. I 53 and I’ve never had sex involving a condom in my life, so I didn’t know about knotting! But, discarding it inside your vagina is just nasty manners, and somewhat pointless as the semen is just going to see out of it. Yuck x1000.

Don’t listen to them. You did the right thing.

my inbox is always open xx

Is this a genuine query?

Usually just go to sleep but even if I got up the wash my hands I wouldn’t know. I found out the next time I went to the loo and wiped myself and found a condom on the toilet roll.

I don’t know how he didn’t know though. Which is what makes me worried it was stealthing. It wouldn’t surprise me if he didn’t want another child.

It’s not watching them as such. But it’s normally a smallish room and you’re next to them when they get off the bed and clean up…

i mean he obviously isn’t though is he. Cleaning up…yeah I do think you need to be more aware of them making sure they’re cleaning up after etc.

I would worry that he’s taking advantage of you for sure. 💕

Yeah. This is what I’m worried about for you!

im
flad you’re not going to see him again. Nothing is worth this and I’m worried for you. 💕

Are you sure you're an actual adult and not 15?

Next time I won’t ask I’ll just assume it’s what everyone does.
Next time, don't have sex if you don't understand how to do so safely.

I’ve not had sex with him since he ignored my discussion about the condom. I won’t have sex with him again.
You had sex with him multiple times before asking him. That's very naive. You need to be responsible for your own safety too.

Just to be sure I’ll never leave my house or have sex again.
Or... grow up, stop getting snarky with people with people on the Internet trying to help you and offer advice, and bloody educate yourself before having sex with strangers.

Just so I’m clear how long do I have to know someone before I have sex with them?
It's not about the length of time you know someone... its about understanding safe sex... which you don't yet. Educate yourself.

Purrrrrple, fantastic name for a cat ❤️

I meant HIS behaviour was disgusting🙄

That’s not a discussion, that’s you telling him what he’d done and no discussion followed

I have never been so pleased to be a lesbian.

That’s not my fault. I can only start a discussion not have the whole thing.

It sounds as if he's deliberately trying to get you pregnant. No one leaves a condom inside a person.

Don't be ridiculous. If he's unwilling to have a discussion, you can at the very least message again and say, "That's completely unacceptable behaviour and I won't tolerate it. It leaves me at risk of pregnancy and STD's, and aside from anything else it's grossly disrespectful. What do you think you're playing at? Do you really have nothing to say?"

If he's unwilling to have a conversation the first time, you don't sleep with him again! Personally I wouldn't sleep with him again discussion or not.

You don't just let him get away with evading a discussion with an emoji! It's your sexual health, and he is disrespecting you! If he left a shit in the bed would you let him get away with it?