To be sick of threads being removed ‘at the request of the author’

[Lilaleily]

It’s almost always someone who’s not getting the response they want and is having a flounce. But everyone else has given their time and energy to the thread and having their conversations wiped out is just not on.

MN should provide the option to remove the ops posts past the first one as a gesture but stop deleting whole threads. It’s happened multiple times in a couple of days to me. What’s the point of a forum?

As long as it’s not offensive (in which case report) then it shouldn’t be one person’s decision - or else MN need to change it from being positioned as a discussion forum!

What about:

• people being worried about being identified in real life (and yes, I know the obvious answer is not to post identifying details in the first place but once the cat’s out of the bag people may look back and be very worried). This could leave to lead to real life harm for some people (especially those in dodgy relationships), being sacked, your children facing repercussions etc;
• People who have real life mental health problems finding the responses are just validating the things they thought about themselves, and it making their mental health much worse (we all know that saying “just don’t look” is not really an answer in these circumstances);
• People who realise reasonably early on that they probably were being unreasonable but don’t want to have to keep coming back to the same thread 40 pages later to find exactly the same response again and again and/ or demands for them to come back and update;
• Threads getting hijacked by either a couple of posters having a massive row with each other and or someone with an agenda (like the trans thread above).

Particularly in cases where the OP is worried that they might be identified, or it is having real detrimental effects on their mental health, surely the balance weighs in favour of taking the thread down?

Plus this is a Mumsnet site, with Mumsnet’s
rules. If you don’t like them no one is forcing you to post here!

Ooh, interesting discussion!

First of all, I treat every post as an interesting hypothetical situation, that means I don't get invested in whether it's someone's actual life that is in ' turmoil' . Often a thread starter gets carried away with the attention and you get drip feeds etc which call into question its legitimacy.

As for posters asking for threads to be taken down, especially in AIBU, well most of the time it's because they don't like being told ' YABU'. The number of posters that ask the question, then argue until they get abusive that they are NBU is amazing.

There are a few posters who can get nasty which isn't on, but that's the risk you take when starting a thread.

Op you sound over invested. There are many reasons particularly outing details shared too hastily for example. It doesn’t bother me in the least

It used to be one of the "reaction" options under a post but MN decided we were unable to play nicely and removed it.

Someone claimed posters were using it mockingly.

Even though no one else could see it.

Ridiculous imho

I actually agree with them on that.

The only times I find it frustrating are as follows:

You click on a link from the MN daily email to find the thread was already taken down (same with FB links)

You click on a thread in “Active” but it’s already gone

You’re on a thread, take a while to write out a well thought out response that you hope will be helpful, then when you click post it doesn’t work, and you realise it’s been deleted when you can’t bookmark a post or watch the thread.

The post should disappear from active, and if you’re on the thread it should stop you from writing a comment. It definitely shouldn’t be included in their FB posts or emails saying come read this thread!

It can be really disappointing. Even to the point where i cant be bothered to agree/disagree anymore.

Ive had threads where the op and me have had major disagreements. Discussed it like human beings and worked through it. Ive then come to a better understanding of matters and had private messages with the OP to support their opinions. How on earth can we just look at everything as our own opinions. It takes allsorts and by deleting the threads MN ruin a huge part of the benefits.

Someone claimed posters were using it mockingly.

Even though no one else could see it.

Mumsnet could see it, people complained, they investigated and found it was being used in bad faith by certain posters.

can concur. was definitely being used to troll.

I was on the same thread as you, and I spent time responding. I think a lot of the info given to that poster was really helpful for others, even if she wasn’t able to receive the info. It’s a shame it was deleted and that info lost

I had a thread removed as it was a sensitive subject involving DC and even though l had done it anonymously someone identified me and my DC . I do think however the level of abuse on here towards posters can sometimes go far far beyond debate or advice, and even though l think we all expect a bit of pushback on our subjects it can be really quite distressing . Everyone’s always banging on about mental health but the vicious keyboard bullies couldn’t care less if their comments push someone to the edge . Allow people to take their posts down . No one is really harmed if they do are they ?

I think YABU. If you are after drama and closure there is plenty on Netflix. And there is nothing stopping you posting a new thread if there is a topic you are interested in.

No one owes you anything

Exactly. A lot of helpful advice on a medical issue - that may have saved another person’s life.

Give over. Drama and closure? it’s more about an interesting conversation with some people that cuts off suddenly due to someone else’s whim!

I think it's fine to ask for a thread to be removed.It's just the internet. Maybe don't get so invested in threads if it pisses you off when they get deleted.

Not enough attention in real life

Create your own narrative.

I can understand why some posters want their posts removing. Your enjoyment of a conversation shouldn’t come at the expense of the OPs mental wellebing or a breach of their confidentiality. Kindly, get over yourself

That’s your weakest argument yet. No one should be on MN looking for life saving advice.

You’ve missed the point. People don’t search for life saving advice (or shouldn’t!) but this was about an op with a husband who had symptoms that were very worrying and multiple people pointed out these. These could have helped someone in future.

But, you’re also right. It’s not frustrating for some worthy reason usually - it’s because it’s bloody annoying to be in the flow of a thread and it’s suddenly gone for no good reason!

You sound ridiculous.

There are other hobbies …

plus, no one should be using mumsnet as a substitute for proper medical advice

I feel like you're overinvested in threads to be 'bloody annoyed' when they get pulled. This level of attachment to other people's dramas or issues isn't healthy.

I feel so are the people who pile on to relentlessly attack an OP.
Mumsnet is really a viper pit. Horrible place at times.

This is a social media site, not a library archive or a news website.

It’s a chat forum, not there to make people’s lives harder. It’s no one’s job to give advice time or energy and if you do. It’s not something you should do aiming to have your words there for ever.

i think it’s fine to remove a thread if the author is uncomfortable, it makes no difference, and as said, why make someone’s life harder, or behave in a punitive manner,

You don’t believe that people on Mumsnet were doing something mockingly?? Plenty of people on mumsnet seem to do everything they possibly can to mock other posters and be nasty. Usually the first twenty or so posters on a big thread are just there to peck at the OP. So I can easily see how Mumsnet decided to remove it, even though I miss it. And I can easily understand why posters might want threads removed. It’s not the end of the world, there are many others.

Fair enough-

I consider myself well and truly told-

I withdraw my complaint!!