To be sick of threads being removed ‘at the request of the author’

[Lilaleily]

It’s almost always someone who’s not getting the response they want and is having a flounce. But everyone else has given their time and energy to the thread and having their conversations wiped out is just not on.

MN should provide the option to remove the ops posts past the first one as a gesture but stop deleting whole threads. It’s happened multiple times in a couple of days to me. What’s the point of a forum?

I think we should be able to delete threads and posts like most other places tbh

I am one such recent poster.

I started a thread about Waitrose pushing tje Progressive Pride flag as a background to their mobile app.

The thread got taken over by TRAs.

People start threads to discuss a specific thing. If they suffer a derail, or a pile-on, then I think they're right to ask the thread to be pulled.

Can you not see that, sometimes, a thread gets derailed? It is not just that the OP doesn't like the responses, but that there is a pile-on rather than a mix of voices? Or some responders get into a head-on-head on a tangential matter and won't let go? Or the MRAs ( or TRAs, same thing) arrrive?

People post for opinions and should be able to delete when achieved that . Why be so invested in someone else’s issues?. You are welcome to start your own trend like this one.

This comes up every now and then and it’s usually because someone is sorry that the hilarious/fascinating pile on has come to an end. What do you mean “what‘s the point of a forum” if threads can be deleted?? Your verbal conversations happen once and then are gone - why does it matter to you if a thread is deleted?

I was once the victim in the most ridiculous pile on over a very common parenting issue I had posted about. It got so ridiculous that it end up being shared on social media and crappy news sites, and I was worried that one of the people involved might see it, so I asked for it to be deleted. Perfectly reasonable that MN admin agreed to do so. On that occasion my words had been twisted by other posters and repeated to the extent that no matter how many times I tried to correct the misunderstanding, everyone was convinced that I was of a particular opinion. It was upsetting and embarrassing and largely based on untruths. What’s the point of letting that carry on?

YABU. Anyone should be able to remove anything about themselves off the Internet at any time for any reason. Mumsnet is one of the few places that you can't do this yourself. I find it bizarre that anyone would think otherwise.

YABU. When I was going through the worst mental health episode of my life, a few years ago, I posted a very clear medication question asking for help from any pharmacists specifically. I got over 500 responses from nasty, uninformed people who had no medical qualifications just denigrating my parenting, at a time when I was actively suicidal and needed just the advice I had asked for (which I never got because if it was ever posted, it was drowned out by the deluge of judgemental uninformed comments). I asked MN to take the thread down because I kept getting notifications from tags/quotes and I was in a very bad state and needed to stay on MN to read random property threads etc for my own sanity. The alternative would have been to delete my account. To say the whole forum shouldn’t exist because people can get threads removed is throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

Just so many bullies on MN including those who pick apart your words and turn everything into a point to attack you with making wild assumptions based on a few words.

I think for some of the people on here they are professional trolls. Disgusting, especially as the posters are often vulnerable to start with.

Why shouldn't people being piled on be able to ask for a deletion. It's irrelevant that it affects your enjoyment of the gossip.

I'm still annoyed they have taken away the laughing emoji because one arsey poster got her feelings hurt...

Isn't it against the Geneva Convention to give group punishments??

😂😂😂

what are you referring to? I wasn't aware of this and can still see laughing emoji!?

Nope, another one. There are lots these days….

I understand that. In most cases, it has nothing to do with the OP, and it isn’t about closure either.

The OP may start the thread, but once the discussion is underway it no longer belongs solely to them. Often there are multiple conversations happening at the same time between different users. When an entire thread is removed for little apparent reason—and this happens repeatedly—it wipes out all of those discussions and creates a frustrating experience for everyone involved.

Of course, if there’s identifying details then remove those. But this situation is actually few and far between, it’s usually just because the op feels things aren’t going their way.

In fact, this would be a good use for damn AI. Why can it not analyse a post and check for and remove identifying details before it ever goes up?

Why though? A thread on a discussion forum surely goes wherever the discussion participants want it to go?

Why did you get to decide that the posters on that thread should be deleted?

As long as it’s not offensive (in which case report) then it shouldn’t be one person’s decision - or else MN need to change it from being positioned as a discussion forum!

Ok that’s interesting. So you don’t view it as a discussion forum but more as a q&a or advice site?

I think sometimes you're right but other times threads turn into hoards of senseless spitefulness and nasty comments and tbh I think it's a good thing when those threads get shut down.

Yes the person is asking for others opinions,

Ok then. It’s not what MN call it though - they call it the largest parent discussion forum. Not a q&a advice site.

Why shouldn't people being piled on be able to ask for a deletion. It's irrelevant that it affects your enjoyment of the gossip.

How is a discussion with other anonymous people gossip for god’s sake!

MN have to do something about the vitriol and trolls on the site for sure. But removing whole threads for spurious reasons doesn’t solve this and is frustrating for others.

I take your point that it is a discussion forum and threads don't belong to the OP, @Lilaleily . It doesn't really make sense for the OP to have more rights than anyone else to secure ta thread deletion.

But on the other hand, what does it matter? You say that posters have "given their time and energy to the thread", but we post because we want to post. It is entertainment, not any kind of sacrifice, let alone one which entitles us to a lasting record of our input.

I'm guessing it is easier for MN to wipe the whole thread than fanny about with deleting the OP's posts (which would in any case make the thread nonsensical and barely worth preserving) or redacting the potentially identifying parts.

Every other platform we can delete posts, threads whatever. Tbh it's silly that we have to ask mnhq to delete, if we want to delete something we should be able to.

"It doesn't really make sense for the OP to have more rights than anyone else to secure ta thread deletion."

What about if the OP is getting piled on and mercilessly bullied?

Oh come on. No one is forced to comment on a thread- and we all know that threads can be deleted, so you go into it with your eyes open. Plus after 100s of responses saying the same thing, what’s to be gained by leaving it up? It’s all very well to say “don’t look at it then” but that’s easier said than done. And quite often there’s a really quite concerning set of facts at the bottom of things- Mumsnet isn’t here to make things worse.

And I do suspect that what people who don’t like threads being deleted mean is that they don’t get to enjoy the full humiliating pile-on.

Why is if frustrating for others it’s not their post . Surly the post belongs to the person and MN gives the option to delate . So they are using what is available. Create your own post and carry on the discussion? If so invested ? . But normally people post about personal issues and I don’t no why , someone would be so invested in carrying on the discussion. After you have all ready posted your opinion and the OP no longer wants it up .

There can be a range of reasons that threads can be removed.
Legal. Safety. And most commonly probably is bullying.
Having a forum does not give people licence to say anything they want in the fashion they fancy to. And especially not if it is to hurt people for their own entertainment. So being able to ask for a thread to be removed is right.

That's because the other platforms aren't forums. They are organised around personal timelines rather than discussion topics.

You can change notifications in your settings. I don't get any, not even if tagged, and it's very peaceful