AIBU to ask if you would judge a mum for this? Honestly…

[Whitediamondshoes]

AIBU to ask would you judge a mum who goes away without her dc? Even though she is separated and pretty much does it when they are with their dad? So long weekends etc?

Left my 2 year old with grandparents for six days while me and husband went on holiday. If anybody wants to judge, I don't care.

Why is it only ok if the kids are with their dad? Why couldn't they be with grandparents/friends etc?

Yeah tbh there was once last year where I was away and their dad had to go somewhere to work so they stayed with my mum.

No I wouldn't I don't think I'd do it myself though until my children were a good bit older in their teens perhaps but I know lots of mums that do and I never really think anything of it.

Of course not, I’ve gone away with friends and left dc at home with their dad since they were really little.
You don’t cease to become a person in your own right the minute you have a baby.
It helps keeps friendships alive when you invest time in them too, you’ll need them and appreciate that you did when your dc are older like mine are now.

They are 11 and 13. I have been doing it since they were young enough though.

I'd judge -- as being very sensible and completely normal. And maybe a 'perk' of good sharing parenting arrangements.

I really think it's fine, if they are with a their Dad or another trusted family member then I don't see an issue at all.

I would if it was every weekend but a couple of times a year no. A family I know they work all week kids in nursery full time then every weekend kids stay at grandparents. I judge them

No. Even though I’m very happily married, I’ve always thought one of the upsides of being divorced must be the regular weekends off!

No. DH and I had a few nights away while DC were young. They stayed with my DM who they adored.

Assuming the dad is a responsible co-parent then no, why would I?

No

I regularly do this and my DH manages! He also goes away too, I cope … it’s important to still be/do you

Why judge her? Who are you? Seriously....

Your relative is an idiot and I'm judging them! Absolutely ignore it, and enjoy your time away.

I’m not the one judging! Read the thread please

I judge those who think it’s not ok to do this. Everyone is human. Time to ones self is essential, we all need a break even from our loved ones

This. Why on earth would I judge that? Are we supposed to spend 24:7 with them for 18+ years?

Well according to my relative yes…the martyrdom is real tbh.

Is their dad in the wrong (according to your relative) for going away when the kids are with you?

Your relative is jealous or a misogynist nutbag (or both).

Your relative is ridiculous.

Of course it's fine to do this

I’m with my Dh and go away several times a year with friends as does he. As you are separated what you do on your free time is your business. Whoever said it is probably jealous that you have a life outside of your kids.

Is she supposed to sit in the house and mope?

she is getting out and filling her free time. Absolutely nothing wrong with it.

hell even if she wasn’t sharing custody, its normal and healthy to have time to yourself.

I’m more inclined to judge the people who think she needs judging. Whats wrong with your life? Is being a mum your whole personality

Well if someone has ridiculous opinions, its best to ignore them.