AIBU to ask if you would judge a mum for this? Honestly…

[Whitediamondshoes]

AIBU to ask would you judge a mum who goes away without her dc? Even though she is separated and pretty much does it when they are with their dad? So long weekends etc?

I go away! I think it’s healthy for my kids to see I have a life.

I do, we have 50:50.

I don't mean that. You said when you go away they are pretty much with their dad. What does pretty much mean?

Yes I take them away separately and together.

Well they are always with their dad. What. I meant was that when I go away it’s pretty much when they would be with him anyway. Once it happened that they had to stay with him an extra night as the flight times didn’t work out.

No I wouldn’t judge you doing this, you’re still taking them away and it’s when they’re at their dads. Can’t see why anyone would have an issue with it.

Yeah that’s the perfect scenario for all involved!! Enjoy yourself with no guilt cause you deserve it x

No.
I wouldnt give it a second thought

I used to take short breaks without my kids they stayed with my mum and they had holidays with me.
Didn't do them any harm, we are a close little gang even though they are now all adults.🙂

Not at all. That's the perks of having an ex parent that can have them.

I go away without mine, and we’re still married!

What?! No!!!

Not at all! My ds is going to Paris with ex dp for a week soon, he's also going to Portugal with my and dm. I've booked the week he's going to Paris off and will be going away somewhere for a few days either by myself or with my bf if he can get the time off!

You are allowed your own life, ignore judgement relative

What's your relative's reasoning for criticising you? Ask them what they think you should be doing while the children are away. And do they think your ex should be doing the same? And why does their opinion matter?

You asked for honesty, so I will be honest.

I would judge of she was always taking herself away and not also taking her children away on separate occasions. I would find that very selfish
If she is giving the same to her kids and just having time away herself in addition to that, then crack on.

Of course not! I've been away for a long weekend occasionally and left them with DH, he has done the same! There's nothing wrong with having a break. If your relative is judging you, that's their problem not yours!

She goes away when they’re with their dad!!
when they’re not with their dad they’re with their mum!!

Tell us about this relative.

I wouldn't judge at all. Even if you were a single mum with no dad in the picture an occasional short trip alone or with friends is normal as long as they are well cared for in your absence. The only exception I can think of is if you were spending money you don't have or if you were going somewhere you knew the children want to go and choosing to go without them rather than putting it off until you all could go, but it doesn't sound like either of these is the case (and if it WERE, you would be a much better judge of that that a relative).

That relative is jealous!

Those who think you get time “off” don’t realise that doing 50% of the parenting 100% of the time is identical in difficulty as doing 100% of the parenting 50% of the time. Their respite time is equal but the other parent doesn’t provide it from the same house!

This made me tear up. Yes thank you so much. 🥹

then tell your relative to keep their sticky beak out

I'm married to their dad and still go away by myself sometimes. Everyone needs a break!

No. Mum's can have their own lives too.

Not at all, I go away every year whilst my child is with his dad.

As long as your child is getting holidays too then no reason to judge.