I don't care

[Thoughtlife]

In the last hour, both of my adult children have told me via text they're bisexual.

AIBU that I don't care?

Depends what you mean by ‘don’t care’

Well it depends what you mean. If you mean ‘I don’t care, I’ll support them and love them regardless’ then YANBU. If you mean ‘I don’t care, I wash my hands of them’ then YABU.

YABU that you are not interested in your children’s lives.

Not unreasonable. I would just be a bit curious about the timing and why they felt they needed to tell you. Their sex life is private and why not wait until they meet someone special they want to bring home before telling you.

Did you 'thumbs up' the messages?

Would that be the same if told that they are heterosexual? Honestly i couldn’t care less what my kids were, nor am I interested in their sex lives 🤷🏻‍♀️

Seems strange they both tell you within an hour - they must have discussed it.
Could they be worried about how you would react to do it at the same time and by text

I’ve always said that my adult children’s sex life is none of my business - so I would say the same. I don’t care about their sexuality, I only care about them and their well-being.

If your kids make a point of telling you something that’s a big deal to them, then you should be interested to an extent shouldn’t you? Why would you just not give a shit about things they choose to tell you?

It's not just their sex lives. As in it's not that part of their life they might been support with.

It's how people react to them going on a simple date with their partner. It's whether they can happily hold hands with them as they walk down the street. It's whether they always feel they need to "pre-warn" people about who their partner is before they meet them.

Being bi is shite. Everyone assumes youre in denial if you date someone of the same sex or that you're lying if you dare someone of the opposite sex. Bi-eraser is very real and difficult to navigate.

Sometimes people just want some support from their loved ones

They clearly thought it important to tell you, so I think you should at least pretend to care a little for their sake.

Why don't you care? Do you actually like either of your children?

It depends what you mean by 'don't care'. Do you mean it doesn't matter what their sexual preferences are (which is what I assumed from the OP) or you are just not interested (in which case I'll change my vote).

What are you expected to respond with?

It's an odd kind of message unless they are both suddenly deciding to introduce you to a same sex partner and think you'll be taken aback.

If my children wanted to tell me something about themselves, whether that be that they’re gay/lesbian, bi, heterosexual, or that they identify as a badger, I will always care about it. As a parent, you should always care about your children and their lives, what’s important to them etc.

I care about everything my kids thing it’s important enough to tell me. If they’ve gone out of their way to text me about it, it must be important to them, and therefore I care.

Sounds like they are soft launching a same-sex partner. I wouldn’t care either if my children are gay or bisexual, but I would care that they felt comfortable enough to share that with me knowing that I wouldn’t judge them and be happy about that.

@Thoughtlife why would they both tell you at the same time? That seems odd. Could they be on the wind-up?

I don't care that my oldest is bisexual

Weird they both text you tonight

either it’s a safety in numbers thing here so they can support each other with your reaction or a wind-up to see how you’d react!

what have you replied with?

I fully agree with this. If it’s important to them, then it’s important to me. I ‘don’t care’ what my kid sexuality is in, in that it makes no difference to how i feel about them. But i care that they are happy and feel comfortable to be themselves and know that I’m not going to react badly when they bring a partner home.
All the ‘would they tell you they’re straight?’ comments are so disingenuous. It isn’t the same and we all know it. The world assumes people are straight until told otherwise. I wish that weren’t the case but it is.

I voted that YANBU but I think some qualification is necessary.

“I don’t care” could mean either that you’re not bothered by their sexuality. Or it could mean that you’re indifferent to them telling you, which I would find strange.

I care about everything my children choose to share with me. Why wouldn't you? Are you not particularly close to them?

In 2026 is this still something that needs to be announced. I wouldn't care either I have zero interest in my children's sex lives