I don't care

[Thoughtlife]

In the last hour, both of my adult children have told me via text they're bisexual.

AIBU that I don't care?

Well they care enough to have gone out of their way to tell her, so as their parent why wouldn’t you care about something that is obviously important to them? Why would you disregard their feelings?

Why on earth do you need to know your children’s sexual preferences?! Fair enough coming out if they’re gay but bisexual?! I’d be tearing my DD a new one if she started telling me her sexual preferences (once she’s an adult) and I’d be telling her to grow up!

Tearing her a new one? WTF? If you’re not interested, just say ‘that’s nice dear’ and move on 🤷🏻‍♀️

The same way I don't care when my eldest daughter goes into far to much detail about her sex life to me she's a massive over sharer and I really don't want to hear it.

Just had to google what 'tearing a new one' meant. Hmm.

Not a pleasant expression, is it?

You don't care that they're bi or you don't care about something that they are sharing what they consider to be a major life experience?

No, but quite nice to know I'm not as foul mouthed as I thought I was.

Just reply and say 'Thank you for telling me, I love you'. That's all you have to say. If either of them finds love with a same sex partner they may have some hurdles, like telling friends, or family planning. They need to know their mum has their back through it, that's all.

My Dds Bi. I thought the same when she told me. I didn't really have anything to say to it. The same way I wouldn't have anything to say if she told me she was heterosexual.

Why is coming out as bisexual not the same as coming out as gay in your book? They are equally as likely to find a same sex partner as an opposite sex partner. They could experience all the joys and diffiiculties as a gay person. Why does bisexuality still get so devalued?

Apologies quoted wrong post

What about if they told you they were gay, would that be differento coming out as bisexual or heterosexual?

If it matters enough for them to have a conversation with each other and message you at the same time to tell you, clearly for moral support, then you should care, for starters you ahould care why they felt like thry needed support to tell you, and what that means about the impression you give.

That's very different from being bothered about it.

‘I don’t care’ sounds dismissive. It’s not about their sex lives, it’s about their identity and knowledge of themselves. It’s clearly felt significant enough for them to share with you and I think you’d do well to recognise the significance for them.

To me, ‘I don’t care about their sexuality’
has the same feel as ‘I don’t see colour’

I replied with thank you for telling me. I hope it's not a new message when I tell you all I ever wanted for you was happiness. I love you.

I took ‘I don’t care’ as ‘it doesn’t matter to me one way or the other, you’re just you.’

I think a lot of young people these days consider themselves bisexual rather than defining themselves as gay or heterosexual.