To think there is no genuine reason a 40-year-old man would be interested in a 22-year-old?

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DD is online dating again and is messaging with a 40-year-old man. She is utterly convinced that he is interested in her as a person and that he is a genuine man. They like the same music, attend the same concerts, play the same games, and follow the same anime series.

I believe there are only 2 reasons a man this age would be interested in a 22-year-old.

1. He wants the kudos of bedding a woman in their 20s.

2. There is something wrong with him, and women his own age are too old and wise to tolerate his bullshit, so he needs to target women too young to know better.

For context, I am 44, and the idea of dating one of DD's mates is horrifying. I like them well enough. I'll happily sit and have a drink with them or a night out with them, but some of the things they say and do are childish and irritating, and I'd sooner gouge out my eyeballs with a rusty spork than be in a committed relationship with one of them.

According to DD, he works full-time and owns his own home, so he is not a basement-dwelling incel.

He wants to take her out for dinner on Monday. She's told him she's on her period, and he says that's fine, they're only going for dinner, and he doesn't want sex with her on their first date. He wants to get to know her. I don't believe him, but it's convinced DD even more that he is genuine.

Ops daughter is looking for casual sex with older men. Assuming she's not got issues, she's presumably thinking any or all of a. Better off than lads my age so better dates b. Will have Ve his own house so no need to sneak past Mom c. More experience so a better lover or similar. If she can go for older men for better sex / privacy / dates, why can't he go for younger women for similarly shallow reason?

Can you try and use your words and explain whu it's OK for an 80 year old to be with a 47 year old but not a 46 year old? And given the age gap of 33 years, why it's ok at 80-47 but not 78-45?

Both of my daughters are in their late teens/early twenties, so I spend time around people in their early twenties most days. I cannot fathom why someone my age would want to date one of them. They're loud, annoyingly opinionated, cannot ever be wrong, yet need constant reassurance about the most minor things. And they overthink everything.

Maybe your opinion had rubbed off on your DD and she's taken the same view about dating anyone her own age.

@oliviaAustin ‘Valued for her appearance’ vs ‘caring what others think’ mean the same thing bozo.

No they don't.

If a man values a woman solely for her appearance, he's valuing her solely on what she does for him.

It's not about other people.

And since when did it only refer to the 0.1%? Passport bros also come to mind.

The "passport bro" phenomenon is completely overblown because of the internet. There are almost no men who go to different countries to find partners.

Though to address your point... being in a different country means you definitely don't care what other people think... because you're in a country where you don't know a single person!

@OonaStubbs I will say it again, the "Half your age plus 7" rule should be enshrined into law. It would solve so many problems.

Why should there be a restriction on a 50 year old woman to have a relationship with a man younger than 32? Is it right to control women in that manner?

OP at the core of it, you have acknowledged she is a grown up that can make her own decisions. It's lovely she feels she can talk in detail to you about it, but as her mum you are not a best mate that should be told all the gory details as you will get over-invested. Don't beat yourself up, that's natural as a mum who is hearing a bit too much about it all.

If I were you I'd have a conversation and say "I love you. I know you're an adult, and I respect you as an adult, but you have to understand that as your mum I will always feel protective of you. I want you to be able to tell me anything, but you have to understand that I'll have feelings about it as your mum. I can't be objective when it comes to you. So I do have worries about this guy because of the age gap, and as your mum I will let you know my feelings. But, please also talk to your friends and sisters to get a more objective view because i can't give you that"

💯 % agree with you.... and sadly there is absolutely sweet FA you can do about it. She knows your views, youve been true to your values. But, try not to show so much distain that she's alienated. If she has a relationship with him... you need to stay close and support her when inevitablely goes tits up. 🤞crossed he's just inadequate, not abusive, like my daughter's much older man experience 🤬.

What other ridiculous laws do you propose?