Elderly gentleman refused my help getting off the train

[givemeareasonto]

I’m getting the train to visit a friend today. On my first train there was an elderly man who had a suitcase and another bag with him, as well as a walking stick. He had assistance to get on the train.

I was getting off at the same stop as him and he was looking around a bit aimlessly, obviously looking for help. I asked if he needed a hand to get his things off the train and he scoffed and said “he wouldn’t take help from a woman”.

I left him to it, but to be honest it’s left a really sour taste in my mouth. AIBU to think this was a really dick-ish thing to say? I wanted to snap back at him and say if he didn’t want help from a woman, he shouldn’t be travelling with more than he can cope with, but I didn’t.

Twattish post.

This isn't helpful in the least. It's a pointless reply.

It looks like the OP wanted to discuss what happened, rather than getting "worked up" as you put it. What's the point of a forum if you can't discuss things on it without being dismissed!

I would have said o F U then and walked off
or at least I’d like to think I would!

lol

Yes this is my take too. Also it’s one thing to have the beliefs, but he didn’t need to convey them so rudely and scathingly.

Yes he’s probs too proud to think of help from a woman & didn’t mean to offend you.
It might be a “generational “ thing.

Its a non-event. People are sometimes rude and sometimes exist. Just forget him and move on with your day.

A lot of men if that age behave like that
Yes, l know they were used to looking after women back in the day. Whatever that meant

But some of them had no manners even then. Laid down the law and were very superior and controlling. I had lots of older male relatives like that.

Then came the Sixties and Womens Lib and fight for equality.

It can take a long time to change things.

I’d have laughed in his face

I've noticed people say this a lot on here. But would you though? You'd look like a lunatic.

He had assistance getting on the train... I wonder what he would have done if the train assistance person had turned up and was female...

I wonder if, when he was "looking around aimlessly", he was just looking for the assistance person who was going to help him off.

It's sexist these days to refuse help from someone?

This is a really difficult one. There comes a time when you need help because you are getting on a bit but don’t want to accept help because it confirms that you are getting on a bit. He was wrong to be impolite but he did it because he felt uncomfortable.

No she didn’t want to discuss it. She wanted people to tell her he was a twat. Well, not everyone thinks he was.

If he’s waiting for a member of rail staff to help him he’s probably still on there.

Whatever happened to his "lived experience" is different to your "lived experience" as the woke ideologues would have us believe!

Grow the fuck up, it isn't about you. He may well have been confused, unwell or whatever. Make allowances.

Did you read the OP? He didn’t just refuse help. He said he didn’t want help “from a woman”.

She has dismissed quite a few offers of explanations/discussion

If he was old the chances are he's in his 60/70s. My husband is in his 70s. If it was 'how he grew up' he's had a good 40 years to get used to it, so that argument is bullshit. He was a rude old twat, end of.

Must be a reform voter.

Now at the age of 65 it's difficult enough with my own bag !..... I don't travel much now so it's unlikely to happen again

🙄

My 64 year old sister has recently trained for a charity 10k run & I imagine she wouldn't take kindly to being offered help with her bag while leaving the train. I am in the same age group, generally fit & would happily accept help if it was a huge heavy case. We are all different.

From her username I'm guessing she's a bitter man hater.

Give the horrible grumpy old sod no more thought .. at least you're kind he has probably been a dick all his life.
Forget him & move on .