AIBU to ask family to keep vegan takeaway dishes separate?

[TakeawayRow]

Last weekend we got an Indian takeaway with family who were visiting. Everyone chose their food and I ordered it.

Some people decided they wanted to try others food, everyone was ok with that but I asked that people didn’t use the same utensils for the vegan dishes and meat dishes because I’m vegan and didn’t want meat in my food.

I thought this was a normal, fair and easy request but a couple of my family members started saying I was being over the top and asking what I thought would happen if some meat got in my food. I said I didn’t want to eat meat or animal products, even tiny amount, not that I thought anything would happen. They accused me of ruining the evening. I didn’t. I asked them, they caused a fuss, I explained my reasons and then carried on with the night. Everyone else got on with the night but these 2 spent the evening making sarcastic comments towards me and ignoring me at times.

Would you have had an issue with using separate utensils to put some of the vegan food on your plate, would you have seen it as ‘over the top’ or just been courteous and used different utensils with no fuss?

We are seeing this family member again next month. Lucky us. We will likely get a takeaway again and I’m thinking of just saying hands off and no one can try mine. 😬

You can't share anyone else's, so no they can't taste yours.

Do not understand people calling you precious, etc. I'm not vegan, but it's basic common sense to keep seperate sharing cutlery. Hope none of them work in kitchens.

So you paid for the food and they were RUDE to you in your own home! I wouldn’t share or pay for anything again. There really is no room for their criticism. I’m a meat-eater myself, but rude is rude.

I'd be concerned an Indian restaurant that sells 'vegan' food alongside meat would be cross contaminated anyway. Or they might use ghee etc.

But yeah it's reasonable to use different utensils of course. Especially as it was your food you ordered specifically.

Oh dear, @TakeawayRow you have brought out all the arseholes with your thread. It is really very, very easy not to cross contaminate food by using the specific spoon placed in the takeaway container. I thought everyone does this - a separate spoon per container - who wants meaty sauce going into a fish dish, for example? Anyone poking the fork they are eating with into a communal dish is a gross, dirty pig. Your relatives are being contrarian arseholes, and I don't know why you are entertaining them again if that's their behaviour in your home, eating food you have paid for and insulting their host.

Obviously not. Because that would be an actual allergy.

Just to add - I’m pescatarian and whilst I do keep utensils separate at home for our mixed vegetarian/ pescatarian/ omnivore household, wouldn’t be that bothered if a meat spoon went near my food (I mostly eat vegetarian food, but with the odd fish dish when out or sometimes when making it for omnivore DS). I’d be more upset about the saliva-y fork/ spoon tbh!

However, as others have said, I’m not a massive twat and I realise lots of vegetarians/ vegans/ people with religious beliefs about food would be bothered! I definitely wouldn’t need to be told not to contaminate.

Not precious at all, totally normal. And I absolutely would not want other people’s forks in my food, but I wouldn’t share my takeaway anyway!

Lol.

I’m glad I know much nicer people on the whole and have lots of lovely people in my life who do care. Sucks to be you I suppose to think how you do and not have that.

I’ve been reading the thread to my partner and children and they like the idea of just ordering vegan next time, so I think we will do that. If they want something else, they can go out or order themselves and it’ll all be separate. Reading the thread has made me realise they were even cheekier than I thought they already were.

Jesus wept. Any Indian restaurant or takeaway will cook with oil instead of ghee for vegans.

Totally agree with this, its really not hard. They would hate my buffets then, each item has its own serving utensil, not to be mixed with anything. Separate cheese knives, who wants blue cheese on their brie! I could go on.

YNBU but why are you getting takeaways every time your family visit? Is it because they won’t eat vegan food if you cook?

I know they will but the kitchen still has meat and dairy nearby. If I was vegan I wouldn't eat from an Indian restaurant that sells meat. I don't know why jesus has to cry about it?

They really were and dont comprimise and allow them to share your dishes
When you cant share theirs
I get it as a meat eater its a shame others cant

I'm an absolute carnivore but would not dream of using my fork to take food from a vegan dish. It's not exactly a huge ask, just common courtesy.

To be honest the thought of someone using their fork in my food makes me feel a bit ick anyway.

I would keep your food just for you. They got the benefit of trying your food but you got zero benefit, especially when they were not polite about not using a meat fork.

I don’t know if it’s because I work in healthcare or if I’m just a decent person reading these responses… but I’d genuinely always treat any dietary requirements with the same caution as food intolerances and allergies. Just because someone has different dietary requirements through choice rather than allergy doesn’t mean they should be treated with such lack of regard. It’s just human decent imo to be respectful

I eat meat but c'mon, vegans are right.
It's better for the environment and of course for animal welfare.
I commend vegans and wish I was a stronger person.

OMG I'm sorry to hear this pathetic behaviour is still happening today! I used to get told, if I put a steak in front of you you'd eat it.

Utterly disrespectful.

Next time just keep your food to yourself.

YANBU.

The vegan food was ordered from a vegan Indian takeaway that we have eaten at many times, the other food was from somewhere else.

YANBU - of course you don’t want meat in your food . I’m not a vegan but totally understand your viewpoint .
Why can’t people just respect someone else’s choices ffs, it’s not that difficult is it ?

I have a thing about spoons and dishes (or any utensil that might go in someone's mouth) so I put spoons in each dish and if some were vegan I would police that, just as I do by reminding everyone 'no double dipping'. It's rude to stick a spoon from a meat dish into a vegetarian dish. Your family member has awful manners.

I bet they always make a bit of a fuss and are always moaning about something, OP.
They sound so unreasonable, it’s like they were waiting for something like this to happen so they could justify being awful about someone or something.
It’s not you, it’s them x

I’m not vegan but totally get what you are saying.

I am fussy about buffets and things because I can’t trust people to have clean hands touching food and then I might eat it.

Equally I cannot eat anything that someone has touched with their fork - eg when we have food in the middle of the table I always put at least one serving spoon in each bowl - if someone would for example use their eating fork to take another potato I would not take another - I know others don’t mind but I can’t get my head around eating from bowl where someone has used a utensil they have eaten from.

What they did was rude even if you hadn’t asked them not too…. Having asked them and they still ignored you was really rude.

Next time I’d maybe either keep your own food - or take all you want before anyone else gets to take any maybe ?

But you definitely weren’t in the wrong.

Here, here. If I am at an arty fayre, trust fund hippy market traders bullshit type place that I quite like, if the vegan chocolate samples are nice, I’ll get my brother in law some.
Fair play to vegans. The moaning meat spoons bastards can go suck on a sausage.