AIBU to ask family to keep vegan takeaway dishes separate?

[TakeawayRow]

Last weekend we got an Indian takeaway with family who were visiting. Everyone chose their food and I ordered it.

Some people decided they wanted to try others food, everyone was ok with that but I asked that people didn’t use the same utensils for the vegan dishes and meat dishes because I’m vegan and didn’t want meat in my food.

I thought this was a normal, fair and easy request but a couple of my family members started saying I was being over the top and asking what I thought would happen if some meat got in my food. I said I didn’t want to eat meat or animal products, even tiny amount, not that I thought anything would happen. They accused me of ruining the evening. I didn’t. I asked them, they caused a fuss, I explained my reasons and then carried on with the night. Everyone else got on with the night but these 2 spent the evening making sarcastic comments towards me and ignoring me at times.

Would you have had an issue with using separate utensils to put some of the vegan food on your plate, would you have seen it as ‘over the top’ or just been courteous and used different utensils with no fuss?

We are seeing this family member again next month. Lucky us. We will likely get a takeaway again and I’m thinking of just saying hands off and no one can try mine. 😬

Veganism isn't better for animal welfare - veganism taken up wholesale means that domestic animals such as cows, sheep, chickens etc are no longer necessary so they will have to be put down, since you can't have wild cows running around (they are huge and dangerous esp if with a calf) or wild pigs. The chickens will probably be let loose and starve. Vegans generally don't do the jump from veganism being environmentally friendly to what happens about domestic animals.
That said, the OP's original point about mixing up the spoons is valid and people who think this is rude are rude.

I am a lifelong meat eater and veganism isnt my cup of tea (with or without oat milk) but I wouldn't dream of putting my meaty utensil in your food!

Likewise, I wouldn't want someone else's fishy utensil in my dinner as I really don't like fishy stuff and it could spoil the taste for me.

It's common courtesy and respect not to do this, surely?

I would have told them to keep the fuck away from my vegetarian food, cheeky fuckers

I'm vegan and live with 3 meat eaters, we keep utensils separate. They're clearly not respectful! It isn't hard to keep them separate

As a meat eater, I would never contaminate a vegan or vegetarian dish with my meat utensils. A serving spoon popped into every dish and used only for that dish should sort the problem out. You're not being at all unreasonable to expect people to respect that.

Oh diddums. Did someone having a different opinion to you scare you so much you felt obliged to get in a personal attack? Or is there some other reason you are unable to accept that people can see things differently?

If I lacked social awareness I wouldn't know that the done thing was to accept it and I wouldn't have said that I would have accepted it too. I understand that there are things people don't like, don't agree with, find abhorrent or don't want to do. Nevertheless, it can be tiresome when someone allows their dislike of some thing to put costs on others when it has no actual impact on their material wellbeing, though I accept their right to feel the way they do and will generally tolerate it and accommodate.

What, exactly, is thick or lacking in social awareness or understanding about that?

You accuse other people of bigotry - but you're the one displaying bigotry here.

My DH is vegetarian and he has his own cooker, own microwave, all his own utensils and own sections in fridge.