My boss is retiring and I've been asked to MC her retirement event. The problem is that I recently went for her job and didn't get it.
I've worked in this community-sector organisation for nearly 20 years. I was always the one who stayed late, came in early, took on extra projects, wrote blogs, covered events, etc. A lot of people, both inside and outside the organisation, assumed I'd eventually succeed her. I didn't. I only got one interview and wasn't shortlisted further. My boss later said she would have given me a second interview, but the board decided otherwise.
Since then, my confidence has taken a huge knock. There's also uncertainty about a secondment opportunity I was hoping for, and I can't help feeling I've become less valued since not getting the role.
I'm 51, spent years working part-time while raising my children, and now find myself questioning my whole career. I feel embarrassed and exposed having to stand up and celebrate my boss's retirement when I'm still disappointed about what happened.
Part of me thinks I should just do it professionally and not let anyone down. Another part of me feels worn out and would rather attend as a guest or not go at all.
AIBU for not wanting to MC the event?