I broke DS tablet wwyd?

[Thenonstopcleaner]

Long story short DS got a tablet for Christmas. His behaviour changed over night he became nasty smashing things lashing out. Completely different child! Half term last week he covered the garden in fence paint and the kitchen and also himself whilst I went to the toilet. When I came back and seen what he had done I lost it with him I threw his tablet and it smashed. Since then it’s been peaceful and his behaviour is getting much better.

The only issue is DH parents got him the tablet for Christmas and DS went and told them. They said to ds I need to apologise and replace it but we won’t be doing that. Should I just give them the money? DH also thinks it’s disrespectful but also agrees we’re not replacing it.

wwyd?

I'd apologise for losing my temper and breaking it, because that's separate from whether he gets a new one or not. But I wouldn't necessarily replace it if you've genuinely seen a huge improvement without it and have decided it's not right for him.

A simple apology acknowledges your reaction, not the decision to remove the tablet. I certainly wouldn't feel obliged to hand the grandparents money just because they disagree with your parenting choice.

Op says she's very unwell, that's almost definitely the real trigger

So you respond to your child being out of control by smashing his tablet

ok

Apologise to grandparents and offer the money or suggest that you could use the money to buy age appropriate toys, and get your husband to explain a tablet will not be having a tablet until you as parents decide that it's appropriate.
Explain to your son that your should not have lost your temper and damaged the tablet and normally in this situation people would apologise and replace the item that was broken, however you won't be replacing it as his behaviour wasn't good when he had the tablet. You could go on to explain that this isn't fair to him because he has not had a gift for Christmas from grandparents so maybe suggest getting some nice outdoor toys for the summer holidays instead?
However you may feel that his behaviour means that the tablet would have been forfeited due to behaviour and there for he would not have had the gift anyway. I'm inclined to think that you could position the replacement small gift is in part a reward for the improvement in behaviour, which would then show him that he's not being rewarded for poor behaviour.
Best of luck, it is very hard navigating families, gifts, expectations and tablets! Next time take the item away sooner, put it high up out of view and get outside for some fresh air, preferably without your child and give yourself a chance to calm down. Then hide the item that has caused the problem and talk to your son about managing his feelings.

You need to parent.

Did they ask you if they could get him a tablet beforehand? Either way no you wont be replacing it and its not their place to tell your son otherwise

Classic MN pile on. The poor OP's pretty vulnerable and at her wit's end, and the 'experts' on here proceed to trash her. No wonder this site has its own page on Reddit. This forum's a laughing stock at times.

How awful you had to grow up in a household like that.

They shouldn’t have got a 4 year old a tablet. Weird present for a four year old, especially from grandparents. If you’ve already said sorry to you child then that’s the end of it. I wouldn’t reimburse the grandparents though I’d apologise to them for smashing it - just say I’d had a rough day - but mention that from now please don’t get him anything else screen related until he’s a teenager.

It sounds like it was hardly the Fred and Rose West household, ffs...

When I was a child my parents would throw things and shout a lot in temper.
As an adult now I still get very nervous trying to work out to moods of people around me to make sure everyone is ok. If I detect grumpiness or anger it really affects me.
How we parent can have long lasting effects on a child and smashing things is dreadful parenting.

Do you know what else is depressing, to bin a new iPad that someone else could have made great use of. What a waste.

Age 4 is way too young to have a tablet. I would have a chat with your ILs and say you’ll either give them the money back, or you’ll replace the tablet for him when he’s a lot older.

You do need to apologise to him and explain to him that the way you behaved was not good. Otherwise he’ll think it’s ok to smash things.

How long was he left alone? How old is he?

Sounds like total shite parenting again tbh op

You don't think it's outrageous to smash and break your child's tablet - or any tablet? It is.

Stand firm. If necessary share articles about the harms. Can't believe they don't believe in consequences and supporting parents.. sorry OP 💐

I think many of the replies on here were unkind given your son didn't see you smash the tablet.