When a tragic event happens in the uk, are the victims’ families told what to say publicly?

[Watermelonsugar44]

After the recent tragic event in Southampton, and previous incidents in Nottingham, Southport etc. there seems to be a common “script” which the parents or families of the victims use when addressing the public.

This usually includes a sentence around not stoking community tensions etc.

Are they told to say this? It feels almost managed now…like there is a script or something. It is such a coincidence that this is always included.

Parents that don’t comply, eg those of Rhiannon White, do not seem to get much in the way of publicity or attention by the government, whereas those that do comply get more.

Listening to Henry’s dad’s powerful speech, which showed his anger at the 2 tier treatment of his son, and quest for answers, I’m pretty sure, although he would not want riots, he would appreciate the overwhelming support of most of the general public who have been shocked and appalled by his treatment.

It seems like the government would prefer just brushing horrific incidents like this under the carpet, despite the perpetrator being convicted and sent to jail, and resent the outcry of anger. Surely it is normal to feel anger at a situation which could easily have been avoided, which highlighted institutional racism and discrimination?

It feels like they tell the victims’ families what to say and then refer back to it frequently in order to hush everyone up?

It is so disrespectful and insulting to suggest that their words are scripted. Can you not just accept that Henry Nowak's family are decent people who have been able to respond to a terrible tragedy with far more wisdom and dignity than you think you would be able to muster yourself if you were thrown into a similar situation? How dare you try to undermine the sentiments that the family have expressed by suggesting that they didn't really mean them and were just speaking to a script?

If something awful happened to me in similar circumstances, I absolutely hope that my family would speak out to say that they didn't want my death to be exploited by those seeking to stir up hatred and division, because that would be consistent with my own moral values and those of the people who would grieve my loss.

Actually the opposite, I do care about the families being allowed to say what they really think and not feeling that they can’t express what they really feel.

It is perfectly ok to question the government response because they are a bunch of incompetents.

Asking questions does not equate to inciting hatred.

if you want to talk about inciting hatred, what are your views on the Re teacher from Batley still being in hiding years after the event and in fear for his life, when no one was prosecuted or charged related to that? Two tier??

I don't understand why you couldn't have just believe what the family said without immediately thinking they had been coached to say it because it didn't suit your own political agenda

I think you must not be a very imaginative person.

Maybe they just don’t want anyone else to lose their child.

I think you should stop now.

If you respect the family, respect their wishes.

I'd guess they work with someone else who writes the statement for them, which is probably very welcome. I don't imagine many people would fancy being tasked with single-handedly composing a speech for broadcast to the nation at any time, let alone when you're also dealing with something like this. But I also assume that they have to agree with what's in it; if they actually feel they want riots and vengeance and for all immigrants to be immediately deported, I wouldn't think they'd be forced to say they want peace and love and forgiveness.

What is making me roll my eyes though is how so many people are furious at protesters as they're 'going against the family's wishes'... if the family's wishes were for all hell to be unleased and Tommy Robinson for prime minister, would people still be unhappy if they weren't respected? Would Starmer etc be demanding we lynch all Sikhs as it's what the family wants, and telling us off for not doing so as we're disrespecting their wishes?! I suspect (and hope!) not...

So the respect seems to purely be because people agree with what was said, which doesn't actually seem very respectful at all. I'm pretty sure the same people would quite happily be extremely disrespectful if they did not like the statement! We shouldn't riot because it's the wrong thing to do, and it doesn't matter at all whether the victim's family want us to or not.

And the mask slips. We all know what the game is here.

From who though? Who told you how to say what you wanted to say?

I think there are two points here though that shouldn’t be conflated. On the one hand the family no doubt do feel anger (of course, how could they not) at how their son individually was treated in those moments by those particular police officers. What that does not mean however, is that ‘in general’ as a trend there is two-tier policing, white lives not mattering etc etc all the rhetoric that the far right are using to stoke and inflame tensions. One can be angry (as well as shocked and saddened) at the horrific individual incident and how avoidable it was, without drawing the conclusion that there’s a trend, all the things Farage and Yaxley Lennon etc. are using to try and capitalise on this tragedy for their own hateful political ends.

very well said.

I agree that if the family had said to riot that wouldn't make it the right thing to do. But also, I wouldn't expect the people not rioting to say they were staying peaceful 'on behalf of the family'. I think what people find disrespectful isn't really that the rioters are ignoring the family's wishes, they're ignoring them while claiming they're doing it to respect or honour Henry.

How about we do this poor family the courtesy of taking their words at face value, rather than weaving them into some kind of conspiracy narrative? I have fucking had it with Mumsnet and its tolerance for this astroturfing bullshit.

Nobody can control how the public react to these tragic and very avoidable situations.
Starmer, in the wake of the Southport was more concerned about jailing protesters for hurty words than the fact that 3 little girls had been murdered by someone known by the authorities to be violent. Turned up, laid flowers then immediately fucked off to a party.
In the case of Henry Nowak, how many parents now fear that their perfectly innocent son going about his business ends up in the same situation?
As for Rhiannon Whites family, and Wayne Broadhurst, not even a peep from Starmer. No wonder people are angry

Fair point, I suppose I just feel the family shouldn't be brought into it on 'either' side. It feels rather like they're being used to point score, and possibly they would prefer to be left out of the conversation entirely. It just seems a bit disrespectful to me, though of course I have no idea if they feel that way. And I feel there's more than enough reason to denounce the rioting without having to mention them at all.

He's never furious (unless he hasn't been given his Krapto donations). It's patently confected outrage in order to stir up his fanboys to go out and riot. The fact that you think (or, more likely, are pretending to think) that he is in any way remotely genuine is pathetic.

As for;

The only politician I feel is remotely genuine is Kemi, as she seems to capture the mood right.

Well, for the first time in her career, she actually got her response right, this time.

I wouldn't be holding my breath for her to get it right next time...

No. I know one of the families in your examples and they were absolutely not told what to say in response to the riots that happened

I don’t doubt they’ve had help wording their statement(s) as they are devastated at the horrible, senseless death of their boy. But that doesn’t mean they’ve been told what they’re allowed to say. Is it really so difficult to believe that Henry’s parents and wider family don’t want his murder to be used by the likes of Farage to incite riots and yet more violence in their son’s name?

Henry isn’t here anymore, he can’t speak up and tell us what he would want. Maybe we should listen to the people who loved him and knew him best who are telling us to not riot in the streets?

It’s evident OP doesn’t care about Henry/his family at all based on her post/comments. Really sad to see people using this tragic event to push their own agenda.

My very best wishes to you - I hope you have found some peace.

I work for the public sector and I don’t recognise this narrative at all.