When a tragic event happens in the uk, are the victims’ families told what to say publicly?

[Watermelonsugar44]

After the recent tragic event in Southampton, and previous incidents in Nottingham, Southport etc. there seems to be a common “script” which the parents or families of the victims use when addressing the public.

This usually includes a sentence around not stoking community tensions etc.

Are they told to say this? It feels almost managed now…like there is a script or something. It is such a coincidence that this is always included.

Parents that don’t comply, eg those of Rhiannon White, do not seem to get much in the way of publicity or attention by the government, whereas those that do comply get more.

Listening to Henry’s dad’s powerful speech, which showed his anger at the 2 tier treatment of his son, and quest for answers, I’m pretty sure, although he would not want riots, he would appreciate the overwhelming support of most of the general public who have been shocked and appalled by his treatment.

It seems like the government would prefer just brushing horrific incidents like this under the carpet, despite the perpetrator being convicted and sent to jail, and resent the outcry of anger. Surely it is normal to feel anger at a situation which could easily have been avoided, which highlighted institutional racism and discrimination?

It feels like they tell the victims’ families what to say and then refer back to it frequently in order to hush everyone up?

Why is op a conspiracy theorist? You can google the Nudge Unit, it’s not exactly shadowy.

The police not assessing the scene sufficiently and immediately believing what the murderer and his family were insisting.

The police ignoring the innocent white teen.

The police handcuffing a clearly injured white teen who posed no threat.

The police not handcuffing the actual perpetrator after it became apparent what was happening.

Working for a public body (nhs) and having to endure annual/biannual dei, radicalisation, de escalation training etc it is clear to me and colleagues the narrative that is being pushed and somewhat understandable how this horrific incident (the police response) happened.

The nudge unit does NOT write statements for victims families.

The nudge unit of any government drafts press releases and develops social media campaigns. Same as companies press departments. None of which is used verbatim by media owners or sub editors - otherwise the headlines would look bloody different. Common sense.

Oh and the government and media response to this incident (hadn’t even heard of it until now when it happened in December), compared to George Floyd, Steven Laurence etc etc.

Thanks for the info!

I’m a comms manager and I’d help a family write a statement if they asked for support but I would be taking their words and helping them articulate that rather than trying to manipulate. Police have comms teams too. In inquests or cases involving solicitors, the solicitor helps write the statement.

Literally anything said in this kind of situation is going to be formulaic.

This sort of sums up what I think as well. You’ve explained it better than me.

So have we all been indoctrinated then into keeping the peace above all else, and more importantly, how does that enforce change so that these scenarios stop happening? Surely that’s what we all want?

It comes across as hugely insincere though….thoughts and prayers, light a candle, blah de blah.

This really is a horrible way of thinking. You're just one small step from saying that they're crisis actors, not even real parents. Who do you think is telling them to say things? What would happen if they didn't? Is there a government department with a script that goes from family to family with a script and threats? It's madness and it's offensive.

People who either work in this area or are sadly someone who has been in this situation have told you how it works @Watermelonsugar44 and you still seem to not want to believe them

You sound like you're a bit of a conspiracy theorist OP.

You've been told by someone who helps victims' familes write statements. And they've told you that the family doesn't have to include messages about keeping the peace if they don't want to.
Is that clear enough for you?

I work in this field and no they are not told what to say but they are helped to craft sentences if they want that support. As journalists, media take the statement but if the family is willing to talk then reporters will do their own interviews and asks questions too. The idea that some “nudge unit” is controlling all this and media just print it is far from the truth. The (responsible at least) media are mostly doing their best to do a thorough job. If families want to talk, media will interview them, go to the scene of events, attend the demos and riots and so on.

I think the murderer and his family/accomplices unfortunately did a good job of creating their own narrative, especially by calling the police first, which guilty people don't tend to do. It was the fault (to put it mildly) of the police officers that they took the scene as presented to them by the murderer and his family at face value. And obviously absolutely beyond reprehensible that the police didn't believe Henry or actually check to see if he had been stabbed.

I don't think this was racism, I think it was appalling police incompetence. White people have also been able to mislead and outright lie to the police and get away with it. And people who are not white have also been ignored and disbelieved by the police while they lay dying (the murder of Stephen Lawrence being a well-known case that springs to mind). The police offices involved need to answer for their actions, and in general the way the police handle situations like these needs urgently reviewing.

I sort of agree with this, but feel that the government could handle it better by making statements earlier in line with public feeling.

Ignoring events leads to hostility and overspilling of tensions. A well worded statement/response can calm things down. Ignoring also implies brushing under the carpet even if that isn’t the intention (although I’m not sure with starmer).

there is also a visible contrast in how riots are managed….look at BLM violence and looting and Harehills and Batley being lightly policed compared to Southport and Southampton.

It sounded good faith to me. I feel like you can answer without calling op names?

Why would you want other people who'd done nothing wrong to be trapped terrified in their houses while rioters run rampage outside destroying property?

An OFSTED equivalent review of Hampshire police did find fault in their training on restraint etc and that not all officers were up to date with said training. So it is quite possible this was down to incompetence. Obviously, this whole area needs to be reviewed

Obviously the statement is scripted and practiced: who is going to stand up and free wheel a speech to national media in what will be the thing that entire country remembers you saying about your murdered child?

And perhaps, just perhaps, the Nowak family, who have lost their son and just sat through the trial of his murderer don’t want to have to add worrying about a riot outside their house or someone else they care about getting injured to the list of things they have to deal with.

And I don’t consider a bunch of people smirking and making wanker gestures at the police is in anyway providing them with any comfort that the tragic death of their son is going to result in any meaningful change so that no one has to suffer the way they are.

You can protest in a meaningful and dignified way: see the Sarah Everard vigils. But what’s happening in Southampton is showing about as much respect for the family as looting shoezone and lush did after Southport.

It would only be in good faith if they accepted what a victim's family member has actually shared.
Instead they have continued to double down.

I did not say Id want that.

Yes, OPs problem is evidently that the family have reacted in a way she finds inconvenient.

A family members death became national news due to the circumstance. Our family chose not to have publicity. We obviously made a statement that went out when the member was identified but in a "they will be missed" and that was it when the result of the trial came through again we chose not to publicly court the media so the police gave a blanket statement.

The death was hard enough without all the extra attention. We are all soing our own bits in being proactive to change however we chose as a family to keep grief to those closest and so we could do it privately and without anyone knowing family faces

If God forbid, anything like that ever happened to someone in my family, i’d go further and tell them it would not be in their name if they are going out and attacking police. Most of this is just a mob out to stir hatred. Would you really want to see a load of people hurt in your child’s name. I certainly would not and I’d be making it very clear i’d be condemning it.