When a tragic event happens in the uk, are the victims’ families told what to say publicly?

[Watermelonsugar44]

After the recent tragic event in Southampton, and previous incidents in Nottingham, Southport etc. there seems to be a common “script” which the parents or families of the victims use when addressing the public.

This usually includes a sentence around not stoking community tensions etc.

Are they told to say this? It feels almost managed now…like there is a script or something. It is such a coincidence that this is always included.

Parents that don’t comply, eg those of Rhiannon White, do not seem to get much in the way of publicity or attention by the government, whereas those that do comply get more.

Listening to Henry’s dad’s powerful speech, which showed his anger at the 2 tier treatment of his son, and quest for answers, I’m pretty sure, although he would not want riots, he would appreciate the overwhelming support of most of the general public who have been shocked and appalled by his treatment.

It seems like the government would prefer just brushing horrific incidents like this under the carpet, despite the perpetrator being convicted and sent to jail, and resent the outcry of anger. Surely it is normal to feel anger at a situation which could easily have been avoided, which highlighted institutional racism and discrimination?

It feels like they tell the victims’ families what to say and then refer back to it frequently in order to hush everyone up?

Steven Laurence was a good example of what was wrong with policing in the past though and is still talked about years later as an example of institutional racism.

Nowadays many of us in public institutions are feeling that the drive to address this has swung too far the other way.

in our diversity training the scenarios do not reflect the current issues the uk is facing/have faced in recent years. The examples are predominantly far right white male radicalised situations. It just feels engineered and fake. It’s not just me, we all speak about it at work. It is part of how different sections of society are treated differently and causes minor irritation. But lots of minor irritations build up over time and create a less cohesive society

Hmm re read the post lol, you are pushing your own narrative/agenda.

i have nothing but respect for how the family reacted, i thought his speech was excellent

Yeah, it’s been pretty revolting the past few days, seeing all the thwarted rage and disappointment from rent-a-thug types that the family has spoiled their fun by calling for peace. Really quite repulsive.

No absolutely not, I would hate that. I completely abhor riots and police attacks.

My post was asking if there was prompting in the speeches because they all seem to be in the same vein/format, when it is difficult to imagine everyone feeling the same way, as everyone handles things differently.

Obviously there is not a script as people who have been involved in specific cases have stated that there isn’t.

The issue as I see it is we’ve plucked a case out from the myriad of other cases and are scrutinising it with the benefit of hindsight. Firstly I don’t think the police did a great job but they will be going to call to call and mostly the person who is placing the call IS the victim. Sometimes the call will be a third party and you go into the situation not knowing who the suspect is and who the victim is but in this case the officers have been told an account. ( the lie ). So in order to understand the context you have to imagine a scenario where 50% of the people you encounter either lie to you or are prepared to hurt you.

On arrival they don’t see a lake of blood and maybe every stabbing they’ve ever been to they’ve had that. So it just doesn’t seem believable that he can be stabbed. He says he’s been hurt but quite frankly when you arrest someone they will very often claim an injury or an illness or some other reason why they shouldn’t go to custody. And yes maybe there was a concern about the racial aspect because police have been told for 25 years 30 years 35 years ( 🤷‍♀️) that they’re racist. And here we have a white officer arresting a white kid and you call it racism so they just can’t win. (Thank god for the female officer who seems to be the one who follows up when he says he was stabbed. ) I haven’t actually seen any footage from after the injury was discovered so I don’t know how well they managed that. I think they were jaded and didn’t question the account and they switched their brains off but I don’t think that was automatically a “ racist” response

@Watermelonsugar44 having to "endure" training on Diversity and Inclusion. What an appalling attitude. I'm old enough to remember what the NHS was like before people endured training to treat people equitable and with respect regardless of race/gender/sexuality etc.

We all do that anyway, we do not need training on it. We do not discriminate and everyone is treated with respect even if they are obnoxious arseholes

That's rich. The reason you invented this story about people you don't know being told what to say is because they've spoken in a way you don't like, based on assumptions you've made about them. It's bleeding obvious you wouldn't have started a thread about them being told what to say if they'd spoken in a way that met with your approval.

You could start threads and participate in discussions without bringing the victim's family into it, make all the points about policing, training etc. These are all arguments that can be made without co-opting and inventing things about the experience of people you don't know. But you didn't.

If I understand what you're getting at correctly, you think that the clearly incompetent police officers, faced with the exact same scene created by the perpetrator and his accomplices, would have acted differently if the races were reversed? That they would suddenly have become competent? That they would not have dismissed the young man lying on the floor (whom they believed was drunk) if he wasn't white? That they would have looked on the calm, well-spoken young man surrounded by close family members and assumed he was dangerous if he was white?

I don't think so. You can think what you want, but at this point it feels a bit like you're taking a horrific preventable death of a young man and using it to push your own agenda.

Oh that’s a dangerous statement to make

Your post seems weirdly paranoid to me, OP. Why would the police coach a family to say something scripted they don’t mean or want to say when the family are perfectly able to then post their real views on social media or sell their ‘real’ story to the media? Isn’t it more likely that someone from the police press office helped them to craft a statement expressing their real thoughts and feelings? And I think I would sound scripted in the circumstances. No one could seem confident and articulate in those circumstances.

You have been given a thorough answer to your question from somebody who has been through this.
Why would you try to look for ways to twist things to fit your narrative?
Very insensitive of you OP.

No one can force anyone to say something they don't want to, or not say something they do want to. They might be advised but I'm not sure by whom, lawyers perhaps not to say anything that might cause a problem with the prosecution?

They don't seem to have realised it doesn't help their argument either. Because the police behaviour here was obviously really bad, and there's much to discuss, but this is a point better made without insensitive bullshitting over the parents. It must be obvious that the middle ground here is to be pissed off at the police and not want any disorder either.

You didn't, but you did say 'I think i would absolutely want blazing anger directed at the police and the family of the murderer' and when that happens it often ends up harming other people too, as it did in Southampton last night. https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/henry-nowak-southampton-riots-protests-disorder-b2989273.html

I agree with this - the point of this thread and the follow up comments give the impression the op doesn't really care about whether the families write the speech or not but have a pop at the government and possibly incite hatred. It

OK great, so we agree I didn't say I'd want that.

No they are not told.what to say.
Why don't you believe that Henry's family truly believe what they said or that they would say something they don't believe that's extremely disrespectful to a grieving family.

There was loads of coverage at the time - the fact that you hadn’t heard of it doesn’t mean it wasn’t news 🙄

Who are you talking about?

Not necessarily, I think their judgement may have become impaired by pushing of a narrative over time and in training, not allowing them to apply critical thinking to specific situations, and being seen to be sensitive to minorities.

Well not many people had heard of it obviously otherwise this reaction would have happened at the time

I don’t know what they believe. I presume they are angry with the police but mainly the perpetrator and family and the level of deceit.

It is ok to notice a pattern and question that in a non confrontational way. It is not that I think they didn’t believe what they said, more that the speeches all include the same content.

Anyway, that has been debunked now, thanks to people who have experienced the process

What specifically do you think should be said?

Decent people understand the need to be calm and not cause more trouble at this time.

How does inciting violence help anyone?

I think what you said about the families was disrespectful towards them.

The grief they must feel is not something you can understand, but you could read up about it rather than speculate about conspiracy theories.