Having dead parents is not a personality trait….

[aperolspritzbasicbitch]

So why do reality tv producers seem to think it is?

this is nothing new, the likes of X Factor were using it as a good old sob story years ago, but I’m currently trying to watch Below Deck Australia, and every second staff member has shared their story of loss at least once an episode.

Married at first sight is just as bad.

it’s bloody boring, and literally nothing to do with the ‘storyline’

AIBU, or has anyone else noticed a real influx in the constant mentions of loss for entertainment purposes?

Edit to add - Both my parents had died by the time I turned 32.

Yanbu so sick of seeing people on competition shows having to practically plead for the money by mining all of the details of their sad lives 🙄

Whatever happened to wanting to get your boobs done?

No it’s not a personality trait but it’s a huge trauma at any age. I lost my DM at 13 and it definitely played a major factor into the person I’ve became today.

From your initial post, I presume you haven’t lost a parent?

Losing parents young has a big impact. Have a little compassion.

I sort of agree. I do find a lot of reality TV so stories to not be very sad at all. Maybe I'm a hard nosed cow but a sob story like my grandad died age 90 isn't really a sob story to me. It's just life. We will all experience such losses in our life.

Tell that to Harry Potter.

Sorry, just edited the post as I meant to include that I’d lost both my parents by the time I turned 32, I was 12 when the first died.

🤣🤣🤣 genuinely never been bothered by his story for some reason

I do.

I just don’t see the need to talk about it constantly.

Yeah I’ve just started My Kitchen Rules. The bloke is breaking down when asked where his love of food came from.

His mum died when he was 2….i don’t know what that has to do with anything nor why he’s in absolute bits. He was 2

Can't stand Harry Potter

Always whinging about his scar when the attention isnt on him 🙄🙄

How cruel, OP! I'm an orphan. Yeah I'm 72 but still........

I lost my mum at 17 and my dad at 24...I thought it was shite...then I recently started working in the funeral business. I speak to people in their 70s who have just lost their mum.

I am gutted that mum never saw my house. That they never knew how high i climbed...but what if at every turn, every decision at every family meal, christening, marriage etc mum had been there and suddenly she aint

It’s cruel to think that a death doesn’t need to be mentioned at every turn?

I’d imagine it’s a very draining way to live too, trying to constantly shoe horn it in to any situation or conversation. It’s can’t be particularly healthy.

I do wonder if contestants are more likely to get onto these reality shows if they have a sob story. Was watching master chef on catch up and everyone seemed to have a deceased relative who was dearly missed and had taught them to cook. Bored with it tbh. Just get on and cook!

A friend of my DC went to the auditions of one of the big talent programmes when he was in his teens. He said that the staff that were collecting information from the contestants in the waiting area asked "what's your story" before they even wanted to know what he was going to perform. And they almost tried to encourage him to make up a tragic backstory, asking things like "are you sure you've never been bullied?" He said he knew before he went on stage that he was wasting his time as a middle class boy with a straightforward supportive family wasn't tv worthy enough. I'm sure it's the same on a lot of shows as the producers want the audience to feel sympathetic to particular people to make them more commited to watching future episodes.

@MrsAvocet Yes, 'misery porn' is a crowd pleaser.

@aperolspritzbasicbitch My first post was a jokey one, but never mind.

Worked for Batman.

Oh 🤣🤣 sorry, went right over my head.

Ah, but he actually used it to give him a purpose….he’s not an angry little chef on a boat using his fathers death in 2009 as a talking piece on a tv show.

I’ll allow it.

Not a personality trait but loss can shape your personality. I don't think it's bad to acknowledge this but it doesn't have to be hammered all the time.

I don't even tell people I've lost a child to illness in their teens. It has a huge impact on my personality and life, but I don't want people to define me through it.

Yeah, tell that to Bruce Wayne.

Really? You genuinely can't think about why losing your mum aged 2 would be an immense trauma that could affect you adversely for the rest of your life?

Surely we aren't at a point where we're telling actual toddlers to 'man up' and shut up and get over it?

Would you say the same about a toddler who was abused: that they were very young, so it's no biggie?

Totally agree. You feel it all the time.

Grief at not knowing your Mum. Grief she isn't there to share milestone events. Grief she doesn't get to see you be on My Kitchen Rules let alone if you succeed.

Both my parents are alive but I can understand that losing them so young, even if you were too young to remember it, does leave a mark forever.

It's the same even in Strictly, the most light hearted of light entertainment shows. There are always a couple of episodes near the end where people do a heartbreaking dance in memory of their dead nan or whatever. It becomes a bit predictable and formulaic (and obviously they hope it's a vote winner).