AIBU to feel angry about my husband's £1000 a month car?

[Tunaturner]

My husband has bought a car that costs £1000 a month. He does earn a lot more and drives a lot so I get he wants to be comfortable. But I think cars are a waste of money.
I don’t know why I feel so angry.

We have our own money and pay half the bills,
but to me the money would be better spent on other things.
if I just met him on a date and he said he has a car that was £1000 month I wouldn’t see him again as it’s distasteful.
am I being irrational? I feel controlling saying he shouldn’t be spending that much.

I wonder if, bearing in mind I was born in the 70's, that house ownership was once the status symbol of choice and if you could afford a car as well then you had Made It.

But now, owning your own home really is a big thing to do so people pour money into cars to prove how well they are doing. Its just a theory based on the fact that most people I know who own their homes aren't that bothered about their cars, but of those that do, they care more about their home than what car they have.

I don’t think the car is the problem, it’s just a symptom.

When an OP says things like:

Yeah the more I realise it’s fine if he’s spending money on himself, otherwise he’s tight. Getting fed up with it now.

Maybe it’s because he has something nicer and I’m jealous.

Where I once respected him for his outlook on life, I now despise as it revolves around going to the gym, taking pictures of himself for likes in instagram, and flash cars. I feel as though I am now married to a bachelor.

That doesn’t sound like a happy relationship.

Anyone who spends that much a month on a leased car needs their head examined, no matter how much they earn.

Unfortunately you don't have a say given how you've set up your finances so I don't see what you can do about it.

Ideally you should both be discussing such expenses before they happen but if you have a mine is mine, his is his situation then it's what it is.

What about tax, insurance and upkeep, is that part of the 1k?

It doesn't sound like a very happy, loving marriage/relationship. It all sounds very 'off' and not really about the car or what it costs. You've said how he's self-obsessed (gym, Instagram, car) for show but there's no 'togetherness' in any of your posts. If you said your relationship was in trouble it would explain both your behaviours - you're concentrating on the house and have said what your stake is in it, you talk about your separate financial arrangements and the disparity in pensions.

It sounds like he's half way out the door & him moaning about petty hot tub costs etc doesn't sound right - we've got a hot tub & it costs next to nothing to run.