New neighbour has asked us to stop construction on new home until daughter has finished exams.

[Grammarninja]

This is such a tricky one for me. We bought a house that needed a complete overhaul a year ago. We've finally gotten through architects, planning permission and trying to find affordable builders etc. It has been stressful.
We broke ground this week and the neighbours have asked us to stop until dd has finished her exams in 3 weeks.
I really feel for the family and can't imagine how upsetting it must be for them at this crucial time (we had no idea they had a child sitting exams this summer). My husband has offered them an office at his work around the corner to facilitate study. I wouldn't mind postponing if it wouldn't cost us 30k to do so as builders are working to a set time frame. I wouldn't even mind the extra costs we'd incur through having to stay in our current accommodation for another month if it weren't for the builders' costs which we simply can't afford.
I'm worried now that we're going to start off on a terrible note with our new neighbours which would be such a shame considering my current neighbours are like family.
Are we being unreasonable to continue with the build in these circumstances?

Yanbu, you’ve given them a more than generous solution of a space to work. Its just life sometimes noise happens at not the best timing but they’ve essentially got to get on with it, she can go to the library, your husbands office, wear noise cancelling headphones etc

I think the offer of office space by your DH is a very reasonable compromise. I would explain the issue (i.e. you just can't manage that additional cost) and consider sending a card and a gift when the exams are over.

My house flooded while I was doing my A levels and we had no furniture downstairs and dehumidifiers and massive fans all round the house. I went and stayed with my granny for a few days while the absolute worst of it got sorted and then put up with the noise and disruption. I got the top grades so it can't have had a negative impact on my results overall.

I don't see anything wrong with then asking, nor is there much wrong with refusing - it's just not feasible.

You've offered alternative study room close by which is far more than many would provide.

Where did you leave the conversation? Is she going to use the space availabe because if ot your neighbours are equally inflexible!

They are being totally unreasonable provided you are being reasonable too, so no very early starts or late finishes. My dd is mid alevels and along with a big group of her friends is going to the university library every day. School
is open too. You should try to be very quiet in the evening though. How much noise is being made though? If it’s all day drilling that’s one thing but it’s not all super noisy.

They chose not to, as many others do. Some of the replies on this thread are ridiculous. I suppose the neighbours would be unwilling to fork over £30,000 to delay the work? Didn’t think so. Tough.

Just go back to them with the offer of the office and tell them that delaying will cost about £30k and you are happy to do so if they pay that amount upfront but you personally cannot afford it .

Op husband has offered her office space to study in...how much more compromise can they offer??

Maybe explain your situation and ask them to pay the £30K you will lose if you stop the work for 3 weeks for the sake of their daughter’s revision? That’s fair to everyone, surely?
Good grief, she can use noise cancelling headphones, use the library,and/or take up your husband’s kind offer of the loan of an office round the corner.

Neither of you are in the wrong. You were entitled to do building work on your house, as long as it’s within guidelines, and your neighbours are entitled to be really pissed off about it.

You have offered a solution which I assume they have turned down. All you can do is explain it would cost you 30k to postpone the work and if they would like to fund that themselves then they are welcome to approach your builders.

It would be a very firm no from me.

A great opportunity for their daughter to learn that the world doesn’t revolve around her.

I think you’re being dramatic. It’s not going to ruin her future. They will not be building all day every day. Evenings and weekends will be quiet. The daughter has been offered an office space to go and revise in peace. She can also use noise cancelling headphones, or revise in the library.
My mum had an affair and told us was moving out to live with the OM 2 weeks before my first GCSE exam. I got 6 A* and 4 A.

And yet absolutely true.

Didn’t you let them know in advance when the very noisy work might be starting? That was very poor communication if not

Nope. You crack on.

Ask if they'd afford YOU the same favour. I'm betting the answer is no.

I'm sick to death of selfish demanding neighbours. I've had my fill of them.

Nb my horrible alcoholic noisy neighbour recently had her entire front and back gardens done. The noise was unbelievable, and the builders were blaring music and singing along really loudly. I WFH. She never thought to knock and warn us. I wouldn't have minded half as much the. Yet she ALWAYS demands everyone warns her if they so much as sneeze.

I can't believe they've the brass neck to ask you to stop building!

Just carry on.

If their delicate petal needs earplugs, they can buy some from Boots.

Don't even think about wasting more time and money on this. Crack on with your build.

Do you know what exams they are? My DS is doing GCSEs at the moment and is either in an exam or at school. He does some revision here as he is now but I presume they are only working during certain hours? I think the best both parties can ask for is for you to set times when your builders start and finish work and obviously not weekends and for them to take you up on your offer of another office (presuming it’s a decent study space, close by) and you can all feel as if you have compromised. I think that’s totally reasonable.

lots of kids work better away from home anyway. Maybe she’s not one of them.

Never heard such a entitled load of nonsense.
Perhaps the kid needs to learn to work amongst some construction noise or catch a bus to somewhere else to study...
Dont offer anything
People!

Those complaining...whinge on

Not unreasonable to expect this.

A year to sort stuff out is a long time and whatever you did in that year may well look to your neighbours like you’ve wasted time and are beginning work just around the busiest exam time for most young people in the UK. You must live under a rock if you hadn’t noticed that.

That said I think the offer of an office space by your husband is very thoughtful and as her parents I’d jump at this. I’d explain how you simply cannot afford the delay and be stringent about no weekend work with your builders to minimise disruption to this family whilst you enjoy life in a home where none of your actions bother you.

Not sure this is true. GCSE and A level exams are two and a half weeks through and have about the same to go if a levels they could stay at the school to study. If GCSE they will be on study leave but will go in probably most days for half the day for an exam.

I would expect your builders are only going to work in social hours (normally end around 4) and then the daughter has the whole evening. Your very generous offer of an office space is a perfect solution.

Go ahead and start.

If this is GCSE or A levels (is it?), please don't give noise cancelling earphones or pedicure vouchers. That IS minimising the seriousness of the exams and frankly insulting to their concerns. Do offer the office and also acknowledge the importance of these exams whilst apologising and saying that you will make sure that the builders minimise the noise and keep it within limits/certain days. Then make sure you actually talk the the builders. Ask them how they can minimise the noise and give advance warning to neighbour if it will be a bad day so that the daughter can find an alternative place to study.

That’s not noise disruption though - unless you had to listen to your mum shagging that other bloke 😆

I don't think your neighbours were unreasonable to ask and you aren't unreasonable to say no. You should bear in mind that you aren't living with the noise and disruption whilst living elsewhere so it won't be affecting you on a daily basis and they are going to be facing the brunt of it for months on end not just over the exam period. This is the worst time of year to have neighbours doing building work with exams, summer hols and people generally wanting to be in their gardens more. With regard to the offer of the office use - would people really send their young adult to some random bloke's office to revise ?

We simply couldn't afford anything turn key, unfortunately. We've been trying to buy a house since I was pregnant. Dd is now 2.5. My notions of a nursery or making a home for a baby have long since gone out the window.
We went sale agreed on a house when I was pregnant but then they couldn't find the necessary paperwork of ownership to sell it. Wasted a year there. Then we went sale agreed on another house only to find out it was owned by a charity and they wouldn't be convening to approve the sale for another 9 months. Another 7 months gone. Then we were bidding on another house (at top bid) for 4 months only to find out it wasn't really for sale as they were just trying to find its market value to sell to family.
In the interim, houses went up 200k in the area.

Don't do too much you will be cemented as a walkover and soft touch forever. If they've just started with a huge demand then who knows what's next. Don't be taking over noice cancelling headphones you will look silly.

Just message/get dh to go and say hi, you're awfully sorry but unfortunately as they know the builders work to their own timeline and giving up dates would cost considerably. You will ensure the builders finish at Xpm and you hope their dd might make use of his office space if wanted and you wish her the best of luck with her exams. Take care.

Nip it in the bud. There's nothing more to be said! They know how hard construction is if they've been through it before.
I remember my gcses, mostly revised certainly at home or friends houses, library, my school opened on certain dates for revision classes. My parents would not have even thought about noisy environments or asking neighbours to halt work. It is what it is!

This is a nightmare scenario for everyone. Was there a discussion with them about timescales? Can builders reshuffle things to be quieter? If my DC was unable to work at home during exam period would b v upset, equally losing 30 k would be awful. Can you give them v specific schedule of noisy periods? They could use noise cancelling headphones with brown noise?