My (same sex) friend and I kissed

[shallowheart10]

Posting in this forum for traffic.

Feeling a bit confused on what to do next. Both me and my friend are married with kids of the same age. We met at work around 2 years ago but we no longer work together.

I went to her house at the weekend for a drink and takeaway. We ended up kissing. I enjoyed it. I’m married and I do truly love my husband so it’s not like I would leave him or my family. I know I can’t really explore this for all of those reasons.

I feel confused because I am in a happy marriage but feel like I probably do have some sort
of feelings alongside. Never been with a woman before.

needed to vent as I only have chat gpt, can’t say it to anyone else

Biiiiigtime

‘Have you met my bisexual wife, Shallowheart 10?’

Well done OP that really is brave of you and not easy at all. Not sure why I’m sharing this because you don’t have feelings for your friend, but for a couple of years and until quite recently, I’d been struggling with potential feelings for a particular same sex friend/trying to understand her feelings for me for a while (we haven’t talked about it but we both know there’s something there - we have these insanely long hugs which she initiates everytime, lingering looks, her compliments are always quite full on like she’s eyeing me up, and on the phone she puts on this sultry voice etc), and it got to a point where I had to let my DH know and it really helped. Goes without saying but being open and honest is the hardest yet usually is the best in situations like this.

lol

Your husband sounds very cool.

You did tell a little fib when you said you didn't fancy her though.

Youre not actually free to explore this feeling right now as you are married. So I'd cool the friendship.

Rotfl 🤣😂🤣

Saw her yesterday at her son’s birthday party. Couldn’t really talk about it with so many people there but I could definitely feel some sort of tension. We said we’d catch up next week. Husband still doesn’t seem to care at all!

If you’re going to carry this on, OP, you need to leave your husband. Either that, or stop with the OW. Cheating is fucking appalling, and he shouldn’t have to pretend to be okay with it to keep his home and relationship with his kids.

Jesus. Would you describe a man as ‘brave’ for telling his missus that he’d just got off with someone else?

I agree with this. Don’t stress anymore about it Op.

I’m not going to be carrying it on for those who have said. I’m putting it down to a drunken mistake and I’ve told my husband. I don’t know if she has feelings deep down but if she does I really don’t believe she will want to continue things and mess up the life she has. I’ll tell her when I see her that we should forget about it and just carry on as we were before

Yes because there’s so much inherent shame with homosexuality, there are still people who can’t feel they can live openly and honestly who they are.

Would he be ok with you kissing a man? He probably assumes it wasn’t sexual at all, but from what you said in your OP it was. How would you feel if he kissed someone else bc you have and he may assume you won’t care either or that he has a free pass?

Get real

Clearly I need to get real!

For kissing a man I think yes given the shame he may be feeling for it unless he is going to come out after so many years which would still be a brave thing to do if he was a married man hiding his true feelings. Clearly OP hasn't been in this situation before and it now questioning what it means.

i saw her this week. She said that she had developed feelings but that she is sorry for the move she made. She doesn’t want it to be anything more than friends and hopes it subsides. I know people will suggest to distance but I will carry on as before and see how it pans out

This is bizarre. If it was a man would you still be seeing them knowing they fancy you and made a move that you consented to and happily joined in with? How can you go back to being friends with this unresolved sexual chemistry between you and be in each others houses alone together and pretend its platonic? How long would that last?

It seems like you’re curious to see what develops and to explore your bisexuality, which is really shitty of you when you’re in a relationship and have a family - her too. You should stop seeing each other or discuss the fact that you’d like to open your relationship with your partner and see how he feels. This is the beginning of an affair and you know that. Just bc you’re both married with children and the same sex doesn’t make it a lighter or less harmful scenario. I’m amazed your husband was ok with you snogging another person and can only assume you described it in such a way that he thought it was harmless and a quick drunken peck as opposed to a prolonged, fully-invested make out session.

Think how you’d feel if he did it, they said they had feelings for him, and he wanted to continue seeing that person as ‘friends’. Maybe tell him what she said to you and see if he’s fine with it now.

That’s series - surely you both distance yourself for a while. I wouldn’t be happy if DH kissed a friend and then there were still hanging out, knowing the friend fancied DH.