What is the wankiest thing you’ve seen your ex do?

[Magpiesinthegarden]

That made you think - what a knob! And that you are well rid of them!

lighthearted thread -

I’ll go first -

Recently my ex changed his profile picture to this wanky AI generated image of him in the middle with a halo and two angels either side… he actually gave himself a halo 🤣 What a knobhead! Like he was Jesus 😳(He was a massive narcissist. My ex. Not Jesus)

What are the wankiest things your ex has ever done?

Not my ex but my beloved sisters ex. He got the OW pregnant the night my sister gave birth to their third child via c section. Shagging her while my dear sis lay in hospital recovering with their new baby.

🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

Not sure about wankiest but I discovered he was (& still is) paying £2,500 a month in rent for a 5 bedroom house. Meanwhile I’m in a 2 bed flat and the dog we shared lives with me, because he didn’t want him.

Some of these stories are very sad … but are also not lighthearted (which Magpiesinthegarden put in her OP).

😂 OMG! I've heard it all now ....!

My ex never read for pleasure (it just wasn’t a habit that anyone in his family had). Once it became clear that I did read fiction for pleasure, he made a point of buying extremely weird novels (because he didn’t like anything “mainstream”) and reading them performatively. Sometimes he would gasp and look up while reading to check I was still paying him attention and noticing him reading.

We once went out to a beach party (sort of a club - type thing) on Brighton beach. Carl Cox was DJing but my ex decided that the music was from too many adverts, was naff and he wouldn’t dance. But he didn’t want me to dance either so kept hugging me to try to stop me.

i was going to say that about mine! When I left after he'd offered me violence, I cleaned the toilet bowl with his tooth brush.

As an animal lover, I bet the dog is much nicer to live with than the ex. I'd choose a pet over a bloke any day.
Also 💔for the the OP whose shit ex gave the cat to Battersea. I hope she was able to get the cat back.

LOL at Mr Wiggly 😂

The reason my first marriage ended was because he was shagging someone else for months, but he did a great job of convincing himself HE was the victim.

After a failed reconciliation attempt (what was I was thinking?!) I went on holiday with a friend - a holiday I was supposed to have gone on with ex - to our favourite country, which is relevant. Whilst away I decided I wasn't taking anymore of H's shit and to crack on with splitting up. I got home to find he'd decided he 'missed' me and was angling to get back together. I said that wasn't happening and that's when the wankiness really ramped up a gear.

I went to stay with a friend and on returning to the house to collect some clothes found that ex had burned a load of things associated with our favourite country in a metal bucket in the garden, like some kind of pagan ritual. He'd also smashed up my framed pictures of said country. Yeah mate, blame the country I went on holiday to for us not getting back together, not you cheating on me 🙄

There was loads of other more unpleasant wankiness. Wanker.

Ah yes, and my ex done that as well as ask her to make dinners, wash clothes etc. Crazy looking back

Anyone remember Mutley’s snigger from Whacky Races

That dog must have been having a good laugh

My aunt was pregnant with twins

Her arsehole ex pushed her down the stairs and kicked her stomach while she laid at the bottom

She was rushed to hospital and gave birth to them-both very poorly babies because they where so premature

Where was he while she was desperately trying not to give birth?

Shagging her sister (my other aunt) and got her pregnant (im not sure what happened to that baby but she didnt have it)

One of the babies died-she was very lucky the other one survived (and that was very touch and go)

She had nowhere else to go and no money,so had to go back to him

He was a pisshead and would come home,bounce the baby on his knee and piss himself/all over the baby before passing out and battered her daily

She finally saw an option to leave (this is only the 70's) and ran,taking her baby with her

Married another total (snobby) wanker and divorced him years later

Shes now happy just casually dating and refuses to get serious (cant say i blame her!)

Shes having the time of her life and good for her

Him?

After not wanting to know his baby,years later got in touch and demanded 'respect' and a relationship

The now grown up baby told him to fuck off and he dropped down dead,on his own in a shitty flat about a fortnight later and wasnt found for days (he'd been hounding his now adult child for contact but suddenly went quiet)

Nobody mourned him-he was quietly cremated and god knows where they scattered his ashes

what an absolute bell-end waste of space

Your Dad is a genius!

Here are a few things that spring to mind, amalgamated from various exes (I wish I'd had a little more respect for myself in my younger years):

• Saying of himself on multiple occasions, as a 20-something, "I'm very well read."
• Spontaneously playing his guitar while we hung out in his tiny cramped bedroom, looking at me expectantly every so often
• Constantly complaining about the fact that his dad wanted him to go to college or uni and was crushing his dream of "being in a band" 😂(I notice there are several band-related posts in this thread... what is it with these guys?!)
• Had a tantrum and stormed off from our group of friends when I suggested an alternative explanation for something he was complaining about
• Saying that I needed to shave more (not sure why some guys think it's ok to comment on women's bodies so much?!)
• In his 20s, said that he wished schoolgirls were only allowed to wear skirts, not trousers 🤢 (he was a total fucking pervert)

I love this one too 😂

Totally nasty f*cker!

My first proper boyfriend - manipulative, jealous, dishonest. I was v naive and he tied me up in knots. Finally split up and a few weeks later he came round. It was possible, he said, that his friends might tell me that he’d been shagging someone else, because he’d told them he was, but he’d just been showing off, so I shouldn’t believe them. I was so happy because I realised I didn’t give a fuck either way.
Then he tried to kiss me but I moved away, so he told me I’d ‘blown it’ and left. A good day.

😂 that “you’d” blown it. Honestly…

We shared a love of the countryside and went hawking together. It was early February and FREEZING cold - like, minus 10 and snowing.

I wore merino wool leggings, thin jogging bottoms and thick walking trousers, merino base layer, thermal mid-layer, fleece, down jacket, scarf, woollen hat, gloves...

He wore thin corduroy trousers, a Harris tweed jacket with shirt underneath and a silken neck scarf. Which ended up tied around his head to protect his ears from the biting wind.

In his head: country squire.

In reality: Queen Mother, but make her hyperthermic.

SO WANKY.

OMG @Bloozie I've ploughed through 29 pages of dickheads, wankers, abusers, twats & a handful of gemstone Dads who've got their daughter's backs. But this one just made me snort 🤣

Definitely wanky 🏆

I had one particular standout ex who did so many wanky things. He was also in a band (obvs).

The standout one was that he was reading Irvine Welsh's book Filth on the train to work, and I really hated that book and said so - not in a nasty way, I read a lot and just thought we could have a conversation about it. He glared at me, got off the train at the next stop - even though it wasn't his stop and he had to wait half an hour for another train - and never spoke to me again. I was actually really in love with him (idiot that I am) so couldn't believe this was genuinely the reason he broke up with me. He only ever sent me one text: 'You know what you've done.'

I subsequently found out that he'd shagged his ex-girlfriend behind my back and they were back together.

Only until the new daughter wises up and decides she no longer wants to see the bastard.

🤣 The wankiest thing my ex has done would be breathe which you may think is extreme however you don't know him.

He was a violent bully and made our lives hell even in the aftermath. 3 of my adult youngsters out of 4 have nothing to do with him, my daughter limited so I think that tells you all.

Perhaps you were looking for something more light hearted however there is nothing light hearted to say about him.

I've rebuilt a good happy life since leaving him 26 years ago however !!!l

Wear crocs.