What is the wankiest thing you’ve seen your ex do?

[Magpiesinthegarden]

That made you think - what a knob! And that you are well rid of them!

lighthearted thread -

I’ll go first -

Recently my ex changed his profile picture to this wanky AI generated image of him in the middle with a halo and two angels either side… he actually gave himself a halo 🤣 What a knobhead! Like he was Jesus 😳(He was a massive narcissist. My ex. Not Jesus)

What are the wankiest things your ex has ever done?

Not me, thankfully, but a girl I knew - her ex husband advertised himself on dating sites as being an animal lover and in his ‘dream job’ working with animals…
He was a slaughter man in the local abattoir!😱

😲

Yup! My mouth dropped open when she told me what he was doing! How the hell do you tell a new girlfriend the truth??
what a muppet!

Brilliant.

i don’t know how they thought of it, but my DDs did similar with their Dad when they were 12.

He was visiting them because there was a family wedding coming up and they were going with his parents. Events like that brought him out of the woods for a couple of months.

He collected them from school on the Friday, took them to their grandparents, saw them at the wedding Saturday, took them to their swimming lessons Sunday and then demanded to drop them at school Monday instead of the GPs. In that timescale he paid for the school residential trip (I was paying by instalments), the next terms worth of swimming lessons and bought them a membership for a local roller skate place… all because the girls “accidentally” mentioned that they had overhead DH (I wasn’t married to him yet) offering to pay for them because he was going to do it for his DS.

When I asked them they just said “well he’s going to vanish again…” with a shrug. Their Granny, his mum, nearly injured herself laughing when she found out.

Before we broke up we’d booked a very expensive holiday together and paid 50/50, but it was all done in my name (he was crap at planning, booking, organising). Afterwards we agreed that he’d send my half of the cash and go away with his mum instead, which I agreed to.

He sent the money, I sent the booking confirmation/ details over email. He replied to my email with something to the effect of ‘Now f off and die you b! Burn in hell… Hope i never see you again…’ blah blah blah. Sheepishly followed up two hours later with a very polite request to resend the email as he’d deleted it permanently by mistake…

Oh how I laughed!!!!

And stood up when they asked if there were any impediments.

He would go out and buy something special to eat then come home and announce "I've got my snacks for the football game." He never asked me if I wanted anything.

I was dating a guy on and off for 8 years - by the end was more on than off but we lived in different cities so we saw each other about once per week. Found out on Twitter (then) he got MARRIED by seeing a post from his best man. blocked him after unloading my spleen. years later I got an email from him titled 'healing' as he'd been to therapy and claimed to be a better person who wanted absolution.

He still didn't say sorry he got married - said he was sorry he didn't tell me 'things were happening over there'. stewed for a few days then sent a short acerbic response calling him out for being a coward and saying I hope he becomes the person his therapy wants him to be. TWAT.

I had one convinced he was going to make it big off the back of some daft talent show in his home country (not the UK) and kept on about how he was going to audition for the next series. As it turned out, the show in question got axed before he had chance to do so. He then drunkenly ranted at me about how I'd "got what I wished for" - even if I had, which I hadn't, me wishing would have had no influence on the decision to axe the show. Honestly, he wasn't the singer that he liked to think he was, so even if he'd gone to an audition, realistically I don't think it would have happened.

He continued to bang on and on about these reality shows, couldn't understand why I didn't want to go on Temptation Island with him, and what actually split us up in the end was him applying for some dating show or other (they turned him down and he posted his rejection email on Instagram).

He also got contacted at one point by one of those fake celebrity scammers and was convinced he was being hired to write the script for one of his favourite shows, and would have none of it when I tried to point out all the red flags.

Robert Kenyon?

I would have killed him just for deleting the novel. What a prick.

😂

A long time ago, I was 18 and going out with a 24 year old. We went on a day trip to London by train and when we got there he told me hadn't brought any money. When I was understandably annoyed, he cried.
Another time he was at our house watching TV and I was getting ready to go out. I came into the living room and my favourite band was on TV. I asked why he didn't call me and he cried.
I finished with him soon after as I was scared of drowning in his tears.

Wrote a post on his LinkedIn about how sales is a lot like parenting... I wouldnt mind but he hasnt seen our child since January 🤣

Ex had been working abroad for the majority of the year. I was home with a two and four year old doing everything alone. Fast forward the end of year and ex returns home and it transpires he was having an affair and leaving for the other women as he just “I want to do what I want to do” I was blindsided as it felt like he had been totally brainwashed. Came out he had been having affairs for years with 10s of women.

Understandably devastated. Off he left and went back off away to work and then a few months later I get a message saying “ it’s all been so hard for me so I’m taking some time to have a holiday” he spent a month on holiday. Bearing in mind he had seen the kids all of about 4 weeks in the past year. I was so broken, so exhausted and the fucker thought he needed a break and holiday.

this has gone on for years he just does as he pleases and shows up whenever it works for him. This was a guy everyone used to say “he’s such a great guy”

Ex forged my signature to resign me from our business

We’ve probably got the same ex lol

there can’t be that many dreadful rnen out there.

my DC is in their 30s.

Invited me to his wedding... 7 months after he left me... when we were 20 because apparently his family (grandparents, aunts etc) missed me and considered me family 😂

My ex turned up to our Dds birthday party having never been interested in designer clothing but had obviously taken fashion advice from new younger girlfriend. He was clad head to toe in that monogram LV pattern. My mum asked him why he had come dressed as a suitcase when it wasn’t fancy dress.

Bought himself a Lordship! Kids mentioned it to me and a friend told me he had changed his Instagram name to ‘Lord Surname’. Apparently with this you can then use the title Lord. Our Dd was going through a very long drawn out EHCP process at the time (along with various other schooling issues) and he had to fill some forms in and on every one his title was down at ‘Lord’. He never attended a single meeting and a couple of times I caught the eye of whichever professional was reading the forms and the eye rolls said it all!

This is PERFECT 😂

Well there’s a list! But the fovourite has to be getting his new gf to tell me when they were having my children. I have them 95% of the time. It went down hill from there. He is a covert narcissist with bells on and she thinks she is living her best life but believe me I am!

Sent me a fake email from “his solicitor” threatening legal action against me if I delivered his furniture back to his new house because he was not sorting out collecting it 🤯

I did ask if the basis of the action was “stop trying to give my client his property back?!”

and this was a well educated man who often had links to the legal profession 😂

I'm sorry. He is sick and I hope you and your DD have managed to escape him now. Sadly, I'm not surprised that his mum stuck up for him. My friend's ex smashed her microwave in front of her and his mum and she later denied it ever happened. Luckily for my friend, her ex later lost his temper in front of many witnesses and was ordered to complete anger management training. The last I heard, he hadn't completed it, so she and her son didn't have to see him.

The dads mentioned on this thread who have taken their children's possessions because they "paid for them" are horrendous, but not as disturbing as your ex.

He bought a Lordship?
What a fanny 🤣🤣