To ask how many of your wedding guests have died?

[NameChangeMay2026]

It's our anniversary this week, although we are getting divorced.

How many of your guests did you lose in the twenty years after your wedding? I feel like our losses are high. About 85 guests and 15 are gone. Is this normal? Or does it seem high to you too?

OP I love your sense of humour and I love your post. I know some people see it as morbid but I see it more as remembering and celebrating those people we have all lost.

It is funny how lots of us have mentioned how many babies have been born as if that somehow offsets the losses. You are absolutely right to point out that it doesn't. I'm sure the parents of the 6 year old at my wedding who died aged 18 don't ever think that.

Thank you x

A fair few. Got married in '98 - probs about 40 day time guests

Off the top of my head.....
his mum
his dad
his brother
his sister
his nan
His sister in law

My mum
My dad
My uncle

Married 38 years, grandparent, 2 parents, most aunt's and uncles are gone. All siblings, friends and cousins still here so in correct order if you know what I mean.

20 years married also , lots have died the family photo page is so sad because we've lost close family members from it . Our anniversary is also the anniversary of my bils tragic death .I struggle to celebrate it because of that. I try but it feels wrong.

50 odd guests and 17 have died that I know of, including groom best man and his wife, all grandparents grooms parents. Several younger people as well

Married 23 years, 50 guests, sadly lost 3. Grandparents and close friends parent.
We still contact with all, we had a very small wedding. I have a large family but wanted to make sure our closest friends attended so was a tough balancing act to ensure closest family and friends came.

At first glance I thought guests had eaten something bad!

I know it's so sad, I was going through photos the other day and too many people aren't here anymore. I'm sorry for your loss

They were once new babies too.

I'm mourning the loss of much-loved people who are no longer here on what is a significant milestone date. New babies have nothing to do with that. One does not replace the other. It's inappropriate and minimising the reality of loss to compare. So I really wish people on this thread would stop going on about idiotic new babies, as if they're a vinegar that neutralises loss. 😡

When my mum died, I wasn't all "Oh, it's OK because my cousin just had a new baby! One in, one out!" 🙄🙄🙄

Not added it up before but quite a lot.

both my parents, my grandmother, my aunt,
dh has lost 2 aunts, an uncle and a cousin

I couldn’t agree with you more.

Got married 36 years ago, 100 guests. We’ve lost all our parents (my father died when I was 17), 2 uncles, 2 aunts, 11 friends of our parents, 3 friends of ours.

And yes, many of my guests had babies later. Sadly I didn’t.

Married 25 years this year. Eight dead I think but the old ones so dad mum in law and aunties, uncles. No one I was very close to, if it was a friend that would be sad.

Nobody is saying that babies replace those that we’ve lost, but I think it’s a nice way to look at life and death, for me. It brings me comfort.

Obviously I wouldn’t be tactless enough to offer that “comfort” to someone who’s grieving in real life.
I think the responses here are people reflecting on their own lives, not others.

72 guests, married 36 years. 16 I know to have died (mainly from the generation above us) but 17 I am no longer in contact with / haven't heard about their deaths. Only one death that I know of that I would consider tragic, the others were sad, of course, but all were elderly.

Very well said Op. I understand completely.

19 years married
Apart from family. Im only still in contact with 2 friends from the wedding. DH is no longer in contact with any of his friends from the wedding, inc best man

I got married in the late 90s and had about 60 guests. I think about 20 have died including three out of four parents and most aunts and uncles.

Also not in touch with some friends who were there, and DH isn't in touch with his best man anymore (who went awol when we had our son - very odd as he seemed to have godchildren all over Europe so not sure why he was jealous/offended when we had a child).

Also at least two people have divorced and at least two friends brought their then boy/girlfriends but are now married to other people.

On their 50th Wedding anniversary my parents got their original table plan out and Dad started going through names and reading them out to my Mum and we quickly realised how depressing it was. In the end we laughed about it... it was very Peter Kay "guess who's dead?", even more so because of the arguments over whether certain people were actually dead or not. 🤣

On the other hand, my Grandparents best man and 2 bridesmaid made it to their 60th Wedding anniversary party. Their best man passed away not long before their 70th anniversary and my Grandad cried mentioning him in his speech. ❤️

96 in attendance, 1 has since died

Granny, great uncle and aunt, another great uncle, the elderly couple who used to look after us after school two night a week, two elderly family friends. I think that’s it. I got married in the small village where I grew up and everyone knows everyone. Even those who didn’t come to the reception came to the church, so many of those old ladies have now died too.

28 years ago, 40 guests during the day and about another 40 at night. Sadly, at least 15 have since passed away, my wonderful parents and grandparents being amongst that number. I've actually wondered this same thing recently even before reading your post OP.

This has actually allowed me to think about those people that were there and aren't anymore
Married in 2012, lost since then
*My granny
*1 gran-aunt
*1 uncle & aunt who were my godparents
*2 other uncles & 2 other aunts
*1 family friend
We had 90 at the wedding altogether

I love the title of this thread. I clicked on it expecting to see something about a dodgy prawn starter...