To ask how many of your wedding guests have died?

[NameChangeMay2026]

It's our anniversary this week, although we are getting divorced.

How many of your guests did you lose in the twenty years after your wedding? I feel like our losses are high. About 85 guests and 15 are gone. Is this normal? Or does it seem high to you too?

Just when you think you've seen every possible question asked on Mumsnet!

I'm not married so I can't contribute, but it's a great question.

We had about 30 in attendance and only 1 has died this was 15 years ago.. good going? 🤣

Oh, this has been getting me down on my anniversary for years. It started quite early. The losses were concentrated in the first ten years. although the first ten years contained the biggest wallop - my mum - followed by a second wallop in the second decade, my dad. And 13 smaller wallops. 😡

I got married 6 years ago, about 65 guests and 3 have died. So a similar ratio to yours with time.

However there are a few people we are no longer in touch with.

Small wedding. 3 dead.

No longer married 🙃

Very happy.

ETA lost touch with 5 (groom's side), avoid/low contact with a couple of others.

Only married 14 months but one dead.

Blimey, that's good!

I just looked at my guest-death list. If we'd have had 30 and had been married 15 years, the total would still be 5.

I should have worn the veil over my face instead of at the back, shouldn't I! (The idea of the veil was to ward off evil spirits.)

Given that 15 guests are dead and the marriage was a complete fucking nightmare, next time I'm going to wear a white sheet with cut-out eye holes!!!!

How many years since the wedding, though?

Oh my goodness what a depressing thread.

Coming up to 27. I am not depressed about it.

I do become depressed when deleting dead people off WhatsApp. The older people I know were/are very much online.

ETA I should have waited a few more years before marrying anyone at all!

That similar ratio almost makes me feel a little better.

I probably wouldn't feel so sad if the tally didn't include my parents and my uncle. And two friends of my husbands who died young, early forties. (One suicide and one deep-vein thrombosis after a long flight.)

Only three in 27 years? Does that include your parents?

We had about 500 at our wedding, it would be hard to tally but I can think of about ten off the top of my head. My wedding photos make me miss my dad so much. 15 years ago!

Oh I couldn’t ever delete the numbers of my dad and one of my best friends. I have hundreds of messages from friend, and sometimes I read them. But it’s only been a year and it’s so still so raw as it all happened so fast and devastated me. I can’t even change my FB cover photo which is a photo of my dad and my kids when they were about 5 and 2, that has to stay forever now (they are 21 and 18 now).

Yes, sadly; one parent quite young. And it was a very small wedding.

Sorry for your losses 💐

I know. It is depressing. Depresses me every anniversary, and this is worse cos it's twenty years, we're getting divorced, exH seems sad - even though it was him who walked out, and even though he was horrible to me consistently over a long period - and the deaths include both my parents, the second one only 18 months ago.

Looking on the bright side, I got all the heartbreak over with by age 50. Parents and two lifelong best friends gone, husband scarpered. Nothing else to lose! 🤣

Five hundred! Bloody hell. I don't know that many people and I can't imagine what kind of venue could take that many. Where did you get married - Wembley Stadium? 🤣

Sorry about your dad. 💐

I did it backwards and lost the groom 6 months before the wedding.

We lost huge amounts of family over the 15 years we were together. I only really have about 3 people left who properly knew him as a person even though he's only been gone 2 years. It makes it very tough as I want to talk about him but people who didn't know him find it awkward.

Oh wow, that is terrible. I am so sorry. My condolences to you. 💐

What age were you when you lost all that family you mentioned? We went through a phase like that, but we were young-ish for it compared to our friends. Our losses mostly occurred when I was 38-49, including both my parents. But my friends didn't start to lose their first parent until their early fifties.

And yours. 💐

Since I took no notice of the tradition of wearing the veil over your face to ward off evil spirits, this is me at my next wedding.

30 years married. 21 of our 100 guests have died; including one parent each.
12 died in the first 20 years.

I don't really know but I think about 15 ,all elderly including my lovely Mum .Over 100 guests in 1992 .**

Between 18 and 33. I think I'm just cursed lol.

That's not too terrible for 30 years, is it, although very sad to lose a parent each. But lucky still to have one each.

The UK annual death rate is 0.95%. So you are below average, since 0.95 x 30 would be 28.5 % but you've lost 21%. Maybe your guests skewed young! Our total is slightly below average at 18 percent in twenty years (average would be 19%). It probably seems worse since it includes both my parents and an uncle I was very fond of.