To ask how many of your wedding guests have died?

[NameChangeMay2026]

It's our anniversary this week, although we are getting divorced.

How many of your guests did you lose in the twenty years after your wedding? I feel like our losses are high. About 85 guests and 15 are gone. Is this normal? Or does it seem high to you too?

I got married in 1989. There were 50 guests.

People I know to be dead:

Both my parents
Both his parents
Both his aunts
Both his uncles
His sort-of aunt and uncle (one of them was cousin to one of his parents)
2 of his second cousins (children of those two), both fairly young
At least one half of a married couple who were close friends of his family

But with the exception of one of his uncles and possibly one of his second cousins, I don't think any of them were in the first 20 years. How likely is it that in the year we both turn 60 we wouldn't have lost most of the older generation? I'm not aware of any of our friends who were at our wedding having died, although we have lost touch with a few.

I’ve lost 4 family members since our wedding 20 years ago (one of whom was extremely elderly - the other 3 were in their 60’s or 70’s), but two of dh’s friends have died, which I find really upsetting - only in their 40’s, one had young dc.

Married 14 years, around 90 guests at wedding. Still married, 0 dead

All of the over 80s. Which is reasonable.

I agree, what a question!

We had a very small wedding. One guest died not long after, but 2 who were healthy are now unrecognisable and in care with dementia.

Both DH and I have a sibling each who are no longer married to their partners, so the photos would be strange to look at now.

Married 8 years ago with about 150 guests and 12 dead since.

It’s quite sad to think about as it really shows how transient life is.

About 30%, mainly older friends and relatives, one from my age group. Wedding was over 20 years ago. Thinking about it, they have all died in the last 3 years which seems a bit strange.

Now I do find your mother's feeling about this after 50 years a bit odd. After 50 years, I think you would be be mainly focused on celebrating with your children and grandchildren, not those who were at the wedding 50 years ago. I would expect all her older relatives to have passed by then, as well as many closer to her own age. That's just what happens She is lucky that she and her husband are are still alive and married. Many many people don't make it to 50 years! My parents married young (age 20) but still didn't make it.

Married 30 years ago and we had 120 guests.
Of these at least 45 have died including both sets of parents and grandparents, all our aunts and uncles and several brothers and sisters in law.
Tragic really.

I said upthread we'd lost 8 our of 65 and of course it's sad, but those 65 guests have also produced 13 children in that time, and we strongly suspect that there's another one on the way still under wraps. And one couple have stopped trying and become foster carers instead.

It's life.

Married 22 years (still together).

80ish at the wedding and I think the only people we have lost are 5 grandparents (DH x4 and me x1). 15 of the 80 guests were young children though.

What a thread! I’m not adding them all up. Two in their 30s though, including my DH.

Here’s something I have thought about over the years. Four of us lived together in our twenties, two boys, two girls. Two of us lost husband/wife to different cancers in our 30s; another got leukaemia in her 30s and thankfully recovered; the fourth lost his mum to breast cancer as a child when his mum was in her 30s. I mean!!!

We married in Australia. 12 guests. 4 have died.

At least your loved ones were at your wedding.
Plenty of people have to get married without one or both of their parents there because they are already dead.

You need grief counselling and also counselling to help you deal with the end of your marriage so that you can move on.

That's quite high but it depends on your age when you get married I think. 70 guests, 5 have died. 3 grandparents, an aunt and one of my friends. A couple have divorced and I've no idea where the non-family half are and if they are alive though.

We’ve only been married 7 years. One person who attended has died. Two friends have split up from partners who attended.

Christ what a morbid question! 75 guests at the wedding, none have died, married 20 years in July.

Got married in 1999, 57 guests, 14 dead that I know off including DM DSDad, DSSis, all aunts & uncles plus friends, maybe more! Marriage only lasted 6 years though....

About 4, ( including DM) although as I write this another has just been diagnosed with dementia.

We have been married for 40 years and as far as I am aware 12 guests are now dead. All four of my grandparents, three parents and four aunts/uncles. All were elderly when they died.

6 out of 70 have died

All who died were over 60 and most over 80

8 years between my first and second marriage. In that time 8 of the guests died from the first wedding. Most were elderly to be fair. Sadly exH was not one of them.

Well, lucky you. When your parents were among the deaths and 13 others, you can't help but think about death on the twentieth anniversary of the wedding. It's not morbid, it's life. Well, death. Glad for you that you haven't had any immediate relatives die.