First meal out with son’s wife’s parents and they let us pick up the whole bill.

[50sandFabulous]

What would you make of this? Son got married recently. Obviously, we have met his parents. However, we have never been out with them before.

The other day we met for lunch, there were six of us there in total. I had said to my husband that we should pay for the whole thing just as a nice gesture.

We went up to the bar at some point and paid for the whole tab. No one knew that we had done this.

When it was time to leave, everybody just left the restaurant and absolutely nobody queried about the bill. Is this not a bit mad?

So basically, we have paid for everybody (which we were always going to do), but there has been no acknowledgement from anybody about the fact that the bill has been paid and absolutely no thank you. I just find this really really weird!

I was expecting somebody to say, oh we need to get the bill, and then I would have said don’t worry it’s covered, but that did not happen!

Ouch!!

They are rude. Just don't do it again.

Their son ( if they have one) wasn’t there ?

Sugarandspice,,,,,,Are you one of these people who hate having doors held open for you...?
Seriously what a load a crap

But it can be a nice gesture, also they should have said thank you even if they felt awkward , very rude not to.

They all sound like a bunch of freeloaders including your son. Freeloaders with no manners.

What the fuck has your DC said about it? Or their partner.

Still incredibly bad manners not to give any thanks...performance or not!

Don't go with them again or say in advance that the bill is to be split.

I’m convinced that DS told them you were picking up the bill. However, still very poor manners to not thank you for doing so…….did they even leave a tip on the table???

They probably thought you were being flash and thought they couldn’t afford to pay. Their behaviour was definitely rude not acknowledging it but forcing your money on someone and expecting gratitude isn’t great either.

The parents probably found your 'grand gesture' patronising and humiliating. You didn't even give them the chance to contribute.

Yes it’s very rude. I wouldn’t dream of doing that. And, for those complaining that they don’t like “sneaky payers” have you ever just walked out of a restaurant without at least questioning who has paid? And, if you discover someone else has, don’t you just insist on paying your share?
That didn’t happen here, these people just expected op to pay, like they seemingly expected someone to pay for the wedding, that they no doubt attended and enjoyed. I do know a few people who behave like that, CFs of the highest order.

Next time spilt the bill or just pay for your own share, that was really rude of themZ

Are they very wealthy? Maybe they don’t realise that for others a couple of hundred £ is actually a lot of money.

My FIL loves a sneaky pay, we’re all wise to it now when he goes to the bathroom at the end of the meal! He loves being able to do it having grown up with very little money and now being able to treat his family. We always say thank you, and usually us ‘kids’ (me, DH, BIL, SIL) cover the tip. It’s bizarre not to say thank you, even if you felt desperately awkward about it.

Maybe they were pissed off that they didn’t get the opportunity to pay.

I mean I still would have said thank you, but it sounds like they were annoyed that you paid without saying anything.

You wanted to pay, you were always going to pay, you went up and paid without telling anyone, which is 100% confirmed as some sort of power play control thing with you making this thread.

Maybe they’re embarrassed that you keep paying for everything.

Calm down, dear. No need to get personal and snippy after a couple of mid week wines.
I won’t insult your independence by taking you out for a free dinner, never fear.

Yes. They are cheeky. I would be tempted to organise another event and not pay and see what they do.
Even say at the end we paid last time so your turn today

You were sneaky and they were also sneaky?

Or your son and DIL paid, and sons PIL paid and restaurant didn’t say anything 😂 and they all think you are rude for not saying thank you lol

Or they are expecting to appear on the news as runners …

I don’t like it when someone picks the whole bill up without mentioning it. Makes me feel I should do that next time, and just feels unnecessary somehow- like a grand gesture I never asked for! It’s one thing when it’s for your children but for adults at the same stage of life of you think it’s better to discuss it. But all that said, I absolutely would have thanked you!

Ha, I was totally with you until you started telling everyone who gave a slightly different opinion to fuck off.

lets Stop pretending your husband went to the bar because the service was bad. He went to the bar so he could bask in some smug warmth when it dawned on everyone else that he’d already paid.

It absolutely is weird, and rude that nobody mentioned the bill or thanked you for paying, but based on how you’ve been here, I suspect they just don’t like you very much.

OP was generous, not sneaky. The other parents, son and DIL were rude. It's that straightforward.

Very weird. Why would they assume you would pay and why did no one say anything? Bizarre. If there's a next time ask for the bill in a loud voice and then have a conversation about who is paying what.