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I feel proud of not drinking for a night - does that mean I’m an alcoholic

18 replies

cbr333 · Yesterday 13:03

I have posted here before about trying to reduce my alcohol intake. I have it all together on the face of it but have decided to try and do dry June as I have been drinking one or two glasses of wine every night and more at the weekends. Doesn’t impact my day-to-day but I definitely don't feel fresh in the mornings.

I managed last night and feel confident I can do the same tonight, but the sense of achievement I’m feeling about a single day off wine is a bad sign isn’t it.

I feel like I’ve sleep-walked into a problem and because it’s lovely cote de Provence rose and I’m drinking it alongside perello olives and Torres crisps that it’s somehow not an addiction but just a mum of youngish children having some sort of reward.

I feel a bit ashamed to be honest.

OP posts:
Konstantine8364 · Yesterday 13:09

Big well done for making a change! I think it probably means you have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, but not that you are a full blown alcoholic. If you can change your drinking so you maybe only drink 3 or 4 days a week (and can stick to it) then I think you'll be grand, if you can't do that I would recommend getting some professional help from your GP as drinking every day with no breaks isn't great for your body (as you know).

MidnightPatrol · Yesterday 13:10

You aren’t an alcoholic.

You’ve realised you are drinking too frequently and are making efforts to change that.

I agree it’s very easy to ‘reward’ yourself with a glass of wine, in a busy life!

I find if I haven’t had one by 7 I don’t want one any more, maybe aim to start later and you’ll find you don’t start at all.

Laiste · Yesterday 13:11

Yes i would say enjoy being proud and don't shoot your self down in flames about it.

Im proud when i've done my first day of a diet or new exercise regime.

If you can't stick to it (the not drinking every day) that is when it's time to worry 💐

DaveWatts · Yesterday 13:12

I would keep the crisps/olives and just swap out the wine a few nights a week with something else - martini vibrante with tonic is really nice and summery and feels like a 'proper' drink. That way you won't feel like you're depriving yourself of a treat.

cbr333 · Yesterday 13:12

Thank you. My trigger time is when my youngest is in bed (7.30ish) and I will then drink upto half a bottle each night during the week. Weekends we are always with friends and I just keep going so depending on what we’re doing will easily drink a bottle or more.

it feels like a problematic relationship rather than alcoholism but then maybe I’m splitting hairs.

OP posts:
Confuserr · Yesterday 13:13

Well done OP! I agree with other posters that your relationship with alcohol sounds like it's gone a bit dodgy but not that you're an alcoholic. It's great that you recognised the issue and you're addressing it. Your drink and snacks of choice are right up my street but a break a few times a week is a good idea.
Can I recommend the Drink Aware app? I use it sometimes to log days off drinking (and sometimes units if I can be bothered), it's quite satisfying seeing the little calendar fill up with "drink free days" and you can set mini goals (like how many days off you want to do next week, how many units etc)

cbr333 · Yesterday 13:13

I had an af cider last night but it was too sweet so have an alcohol free G&T to try tonight

OP posts:
Maybe5 · Yesterday 13:14

I think worrying about whether or not you are an alcoholic is not necessarily helpful, as it's a concept people often use to justify not making changes (these days medical professionals tend to talk about an alcohol use disorder or similar- recognising that people can have dysfunctional ways of drinking without being a stereotypical alcoholic).

If you feel that your drinking is having a negative effect on your life, that's all you need to make a change. We have a strange culture in which there's almost been a sense that the only people who are allowed not to drink without comment are those who are addicts, and everyone else should be drinking as a social norm. It's really unhealthy and thank goodness appears to be changing.

Well done for having an alcohol free evening and I hope your dry June goes well. I bet you'll feel great at the end of it.

Confuserr · Yesterday 13:15

cbr333 · Yesterday 13:13

I had an af cider last night but it was too sweet so have an alcohol free G&T to try tonight

The M&S AF g&t is nice. I like a kombucha (the hip pop ones are nice) which is kind of dry but fruity in the way rosé is

5128gap · Yesterday 13:22

Being proud you've resisted doing something you want to because it's a healthier choice is not in itself a sign of an addiction to the thing, no.
I feel proud of myself when I've walked instead of driving or have mowed the lawn rather than lazing on a sunbed. It's the triumph of putting the long term gain over immediate gratification.
I'm not saying you're NOT an alcoholic. Just that there are better criteria to assess it than harmless self pride at resisting.

cbr333 · Yesterday 22:17

Thank you very much. I managed another night tonight so that’s good. The alcohol noise from 6ish until I had started eating dinner at 7.45 so loud. A proper craving.

OP posts:
Noshadowsinthedarkness · Yesterday 22:23

🙌 for getting past the drinking noise. It isn’t easy but gets easier as you go.

I did dry January in 2025 and haven’t drank since, as I listened to Alcohol Explained. It’s worth a listen if you have time, helped me for the January and beyond! I have just lost all interest in drinking now.

Melarus · Yesterday 22:27

Good for you - you're doing really well! You may well be feeling better already, especially in the morning ... if not yet then very soon

Diamond2793 · Yesterday 22:56

If you get a chance watch the documentary by Adrian Childs think it was bbc 2 called drinkers like me I found a real eye opener about drinking every day made a difference to my way of thinking
good luck with dry June

JustGiveMeReason · Yesterday 22:57

Yes, it does suggest you have a drink problem.
BUT
The important thing here is that you have recognised it, and are doing something about it. So well done.

ThestoriesIcouldtellyou · Yesterday 23:02

I'm on day 22 of a one month personal challenge to not drink. I'm like you, a habitual drinker rather than an alcoholic. I've been fine without alcohol but I would not have called it a fun month. Franky, not sure this month of abstinence has done me much good, as I can't wait for it to be over, but I did lose 1.5 kg so far and my stomach is flatter. I get invited to a lot of aperitivo type events and this alcohol free life really makes socialising dull.

ThestoriesIcouldtellyou · Yesterday 23:06

I guess what I have learnt is that during the week I could drink a zero gin and low fat tonic and enjoy it as much as a real gin and tonic, which is kind of a huge success. Then at the weekend I'll allow myself red wine.

CoyGoldenKoi · Yesterday 23:13

cbr333 · Yesterday 22:17

Thank you very much. I managed another night tonight so that’s good. The alcohol noise from 6ish until I had started eating dinner at 7.45 so loud. A proper craving.

Edited

Yes, when you're craving something (anything really!) that's a strong sign it's a potential problem.

Congratulations on your second day clear, and for acknowledging and making the change. That's a really strong thing to do! 🎉

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