I feel proud of not drinking for a night - does that mean I’m an alcoholic

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I have posted here before about trying to reduce my alcohol intake. I have it all together on the face of it but have decided to try and do dry June as I have been drinking one or two glasses of wine every night and more at the weekends. Doesn’t impact my day-to-day but I definitely don't feel fresh in the mornings.

I managed last night and feel confident I can do the same tonight, but the sense of achievement I’m feeling about a single day off wine is a bad sign isn’t it.

I feel like I’ve sleep-walked into a problem and because it’s lovely cote de Provence rose and I’m drinking it alongside perello olives and Torres crisps that it’s somehow not an addiction but just a mum of youngish children having some sort of reward.

I feel a bit ashamed to be honest.

Big well done for making a change! I think it probably means you have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, but not that you are a full blown alcoholic. If you can change your drinking so you maybe only drink 3 or 4 days a week (and can stick to it) then I think you'll be grand, if you can't do that I would recommend getting some professional help from your GP as drinking every day with no breaks isn't great for your body (as you know).

You aren’t an alcoholic.

You’ve realised you are drinking too frequently and are making efforts to change that.

I agree it’s very easy to ‘reward’ yourself with a glass of wine, in a busy life!

I find if I haven’t had one by 7 I don’t want one any more, maybe aim to start later and you’ll find you don’t start at all.

Yes i would say enjoy being proud and don't shoot your self down in flames about it.

Im proud when i've done my first day of a diet or new exercise regime.

If you can't stick to it (the not drinking every day) that is when it's time to worry 💐

I would keep the crisps/olives and just swap out the wine a few nights a week with something else - martini vibrante with tonic is really nice and summery and feels like a 'proper' drink. That way you won't feel like you're depriving yourself of a treat.

Thank you. My trigger time is when my youngest is in bed (7.30ish) and I will then drink upto half a bottle each night during the week. Weekends we are always with friends and I just keep going so depending on what we’re doing will easily drink a bottle or more.

it feels like a problematic relationship rather than alcoholism but then maybe I’m splitting hairs.

Well done OP! I agree with other posters that your relationship with alcohol sounds like it's gone a bit dodgy but not that you're an alcoholic. It's great that you recognised the issue and you're addressing it. Your drink and snacks of choice are right up my street but a break a few times a week is a good idea.
Can I recommend the Drink Aware app? I use it sometimes to log days off drinking (and sometimes units if I can be bothered), it's quite satisfying seeing the little calendar fill up with "drink free days" and you can set mini goals (like how many days off you want to do next week, how many units etc)

I had an af cider last night but it was too sweet so have an alcohol free G&T to try tonight

I think worrying about whether or not you are an alcoholic is not necessarily helpful, as it's a concept people often use to justify not making changes (these days medical professionals tend to talk about an alcohol use disorder or similar- recognising that people can have dysfunctional ways of drinking without being a stereotypical alcoholic).

If you feel that your drinking is having a negative effect on your life, that's all you need to make a change. We have a strange culture in which there's almost been a sense that the only people who are allowed not to drink without comment are those who are addicts, and everyone else should be drinking as a social norm. It's really unhealthy and thank goodness appears to be changing.

Well done for having an alcohol free evening and I hope your dry June goes well. I bet you'll feel great at the end of it.

The M&S AF g&t is nice. I like a kombucha (the hip pop ones are nice) which is kind of dry but fruity in the way rosé is

Being proud you've resisted doing something you want to because it's a healthier choice is not in itself a sign of an addiction to the thing, no.
I feel proud of myself when I've walked instead of driving or have mowed the lawn rather than lazing on a sunbed. It's the triumph of putting the long term gain over immediate gratification.
I'm not saying you're NOT an alcoholic. Just that there are better criteria to assess it than harmless self pride at resisting.

Thank you very much. I managed another night tonight so that’s good. The alcohol noise from 6ish until I had started eating dinner at 7.45 so loud. A proper craving.

🙌 for getting past the drinking noise. It isn’t easy but gets easier as you go.

I did dry January in 2025 and haven’t drank since, as I listened to Alcohol Explained. It’s worth a listen if you have time, helped me for the January and beyond! I have just lost all interest in drinking now.

Good for you - you're doing really well! You may well be feeling better already, especially in the morning ... if not yet then very soon

If you get a chance watch the documentary by Adrian Childs think it was bbc 2 called drinkers like me I found a real eye opener about drinking every day made a difference to my way of thinking
good luck with dry June

Yes, it does suggest you have a drink problem.
BUT
The important thing here is that you have recognised it, and are doing something about it. So well done.

I'm on day 22 of a one month personal challenge to not drink. I'm like you, a habitual drinker rather than an alcoholic. I've been fine without alcohol but I would not have called it a fun month. Franky, not sure this month of abstinence has done me much good, as I can't wait for it to be over, but I did lose 1.5 kg so far and my stomach is flatter. I get invited to a lot of aperitivo type events and this alcohol free life really makes socialising dull.

I guess what I have learnt is that during the week I could drink a zero gin and low fat tonic and enjoy it as much as a real gin and tonic, which is kind of a huge success. Then at the weekend I'll allow myself red wine.

Yes, when you're craving something (anything really!) that's a strong sign it's a potential problem.

Congratulations on your second day clear, and for acknowledging and making the change. That's a really strong thing to do! 🎉

I have managed a third day. I went for a birthday lunch and had a Diet Coke. It made me think a lot about what triggers me to drink. For me it’s definitely the 7pm relax after youngest daughter bedtime and then any big social event.

the noise wasn’t as loud tonight at 7 as it was last night so hopefully that’s a good sign.

Not expecting anyone to reply to this as know I’m being self-indulgent, it’s just helping me to get through the days by writing a bit about how I’m feeling.

Yes, its a habit which is tricky to break! I think youve recognised its a problem for you so its an excellent start.
I didnt drink after dc bedtime as one dc was erracticly poorly and the thought of having to call an ambulance/ not being able to drive really bothered me.

I like fizzy water, elerflower cordial, or a nice cup of tea :) my evenings are more interesting now, and i dont even think about alchohol. Amazing:)

It’s so easy to slide in to bad habits in attempts to relax in the exhausting young-children years. Such a slippery slope. Be proud you’ve acknowledged this to yourself and are choosing to do something about it.

Sadly an alcoholic’s body requires alcohol from the moment they wake up to ‘function’. They can’t just not drink for a day. In fact, whilst waiting for treatment my alcoholic friend has been told not to go cold turkey admits very dangerous for him when his body is so dependent.
so you are not an alcoholic.

I drink elderflower and mint Trip drinks during the week. Just one makes me feel like I’ve had a nice treat, and they’re something like 49 calories.

I still drink alcohol, but I feel like it’s an occasional choice rather than a habit.

Don’t be ashamed. You’ve been sucked in my marketing and shiny bottled and labels and a lie that prettily labelled expensive toxins are necessary for enjoyment, coping with stress etc. Not drinking for a
day is a day more than I managed in the shitshow my life had become before I quite completely nearly 5 years ago.

I’ve been thinking about this - and you’re absolutely right. I think the line is that I’m not physically dependant on alcohol but I have a habit (addiction?) that is exacerbated by certain times / feelings.

I don’t crave a glass of wine with lunch on a week day but give me a lunch date with a friend and it’s all I can think about. I can drink half a bottle and not a whole bottle during the week but I struggle to stop at the weekends if I’m socialising.