Partner on holiday with a female friend!

[Daisymay1000]

I need to ask peoples honest opinions.

my partner went away on Sunday “with the boys” I wished him off well, hope he has a lovely time etc. been FaceTiming me, sending me pics etc. then yesterday a female friend may be flying over. I said I wasn’t very comfortable with this especially as she would be staying in the same apartment. He said he wasn’t sure if she even was yet she just said she may do. I looked on her story on instagram and she was already there, had been the whole time! Tagging him in pics etc. Iv broke up with him as the lies and the disrespect for me are too much. Am I being unreasonable or over reacting? He said I was and it’s just a friend and I’m controlling. But for me I can’t imagine he would ever allow me on holiday with a male staying in the same apartment?! There’s 3 men and her.

You sound like a very nasty individual from all of your previous replies to this OP, I don’t know what your problem is, but you need to seriously engage your brain before you type. I very much doubt you would speak to anybody like this if you were face-to-face and not behind a screen. You sound like you’ve got a screw loose!

Haha exactly. I’m not one to drag a woman for looks hence why that hasn’t been mentioned. But no.. she isn’t attractive. She’s a heavy weed smoker, referrs to people as “lad” when speaking to them… you catch my drift. Not exactly a femine type female which would he would usually go for. So no, that’s far from my problem😂. That commenter is just one of them bored lonely single mums who has nothing better to do, they have a rant on here cos they would never in their life say anything like that to someone’s face so it’s a place for them to offload some inner anger.. don’t rise to it I certainly don’t 😂

Haha that’s exactly what iv just commented to someone else. Don’t rise to them, theyr probably some single mum bored and lonely and have no other way to vent because never in their life would they speak to anyone like that in every day life, it gives them some sort of self validation to type a comment behind a screen😂 don’t rise to it. Theyr obviously very unhappy within themselves.

No, it’s not obvious at all. OP has explained many times why she doesn’t like this woman and it’s all to do with her inappropriate behaviour towards OP’s partner. He should have definitely put boundaries in with this woman but instead he went on holiday with her and lied. And would not he happy if it was the other way round. That’s why she dumped him.

I don't see the problem with them going all together as a friend group but why would he say it was a "boys' trip" and that she just "may be flying over" when she has been there from the start? That's suspicious.

Nothing wrong with a mixed friend group but why would you want to hide it then?

Well, I’m glad you know that there are women still out there that will have each other’s backs.
Can’t believe some of the replies from grown women on here ripping you to shreds for a genuinely justified reaction x

Well I was a single Mum once so I don’t agree with you there but I do think that poster was particularly nasty with their accusations about you.

He lied.
And why did he lie??
You did the right thing. You deserve better.

OP asked for honesty and I am being honest. I think shes insecure, unhinged and ridiculous and this thread is just a circle jerk for her validation if we are homest and it wont help her in the slightest. What she needs is a reality check or she will lose this guy for good. We dont know anything about the guy, every story has two sides yet hes been torn down and discarded by everyone here for a white lie, when OP has demonstrated exactly WHY someone MIGHT have lied in his shoes. Its just a confirmation bias circle jerk. He would not have lied if OP was less intense, but she doesnt want to hear it. All shes done is paint herself as a moral beacon but contradicted that with some of the weirdest hysterical comments about this likely innocent womans vagina rubbing on her fella?! Shes jealous and this isnt the way to deal with it.

OP, give your fella some credit and play devils advocate for once in your life and stop jumping to ridiculous conclusions. He white lied, not ideal but try and understand why he might have felt the need to. Its not always sinister. You are your own worst nightmare.

I apologise for stirring the pot and saying some strong things, im just grumpy and tired. You are right I wouldnt say this publicly.

Do you love him? Does he love you? Focus on whats important. Hes earned the dog house for a bit but there is nothing more in this unless you have reason to doubt hes faithful. If so its doomed anyway.

It’s not about being a single mum. Iv been one too. It’s the lonely sad bored part in mainly referring to. Read the comments and tell me those of any way from a happy female😂

I have never once claimed to be happy. How do you know im not sad and lonely? Beat me with that stick if it makes you feel better, but dont make the mistakes I have and drive people away with unhinged emotion and jealousy or one day you might find yourself being a t**t with people on mumsnet. Bitter, sad and lonely...like me!

You’ve called her numerous names, you don’t even know the lady! And how dare you say it is for a white lie, do you know the man in question, or are you in fact, the woman on the holiday with this girls now ex partner? YOU are the one coming across as unhinged, jealous and nasty in each of your replies to this lady, You don’t even know her, but each of your replies having included personal attacks on this ladies character, calling her names etc which could actually, land yourself in very big trouble with the police! Slander and defamation of character are taken very seriously, giving advice is one thing but to write that somebody’s pathetic jealous, manipulative and controlling is absolutely appalling! I hope you are reported and traced, you might think twice then about being abusive on the internet.

How dare I have an opinion? How dare I say I think this is a white lie? Are you the thought police? Stating I think her behaviour is pathetic, unhinged and jealous is my perspective from what I have read is not a crime. You are correct, I have no idea who this woman is but I can only go off what I have read. It would be seriously dark if i was tracked down by the police for non threatening comments on mumsnet.

I have already apologised. I regret the delivery of my replies.

An opinion is one thing, but name-calling as you have done repeatedly over the course of your replies is not advice, not kind or helpful and actually, it is potentially a crime. Because you are posting quite nasty accusations about this lady’s character.
You have no right to do that just because you are sat behind a screen! Think twice because if it was happening to you, you wouldn’t like it. Whatever happened to “be kind”.

It’s a personal attack which is against the site rules. I won’t be reporting your posts but someone else might so don’t be surprised if they are deleted.

Im the solo girl in a group of male friends, holidayed with them, never had any romantic intentions. Could be innocent but him lying is a red flag.

genuine friendship with opposite sex is fine, if no one has any other agenda. In my case my group started with housemates, when I left a long term relationship and my home so couldn’t afford renting on my own

Completely agree with this. Most of my friends when I was young were guys - never did anything with any of them. It is an issue that he kept it a secret, but have you had words before if he's spoken to girls. Otherwise the lies are the real problem here. Hope you work it out x

You're funny. Weird, angry about life - but actually very funny. x

The woman isn’t the danger it’s the dick splat of a lying boyfriend. Yes men and women can be friends but in the open. Once lying starts it’s usually the tip of the iceberg. Well rid.

Unless he is your child’s father, you still are.

And actually, as you’ve apparently dumped him, you definitely are.

That can apply to anyone. Man, woman, single or in a relationship. But I see the posts are being deleted so they were definitely the one in the wrong.

Single Mom here and not lonely , sad or bored !

BUT I’d be furious and would need the relationship too . I wouldn’t be bothered about her being on holiday with them at all but the lying he’s a huge no for me .

I think I know exactly what kind of ‘pick me ‘, ‘I’m not like other girls ‘ type of woman you’re talking about and I would be annoyed that he chooses to be friends and spend time with someone I actively don’t like. I totally understand that you don’t see her as a threat but just find her massively disrespectful and a manipulative troublemaker.

I’d say bye to both

@Daisymay1000 how long have you been in a relationship with your (now ex) partner, and how long has the female friend been part of the his friend group/known him for?