Do you pack your husband’s bag when he goes away..?

[ShillyShallySally]

Was chatting to a friend of a friend the other day. She was having a moan about her useless husband. In the course of this moan she mentioned that she’d had to pack his bag for a work trip. Just breezed past it as if it was the most normal thing. I was like wait…why are you packing his bag for him?? She huffs and puffs about “oh he won’t do it properly” or some shit. Didn’t really have much of an answer.

Mentioned this exchange at work. Seems this is not particularly uncommon. Had women moaning about having to do “all the packing for everyone” for family holidays etc.

i am quite baffled by this. Why are some women packing their husbands bags for them..? If nothing else, my husband wouldn’t want me to pack his bag for him. Being a grown adult he’d rather choose his own clothes.

Some men are absolutely fucking useless but my god, some women really don’t help themselves…

I assume this balances out with him doing things for you?

Ah, here she is again!

Does he pack yours?

Amazing how many men find the art of “cramming it in” so difficult. 🙄

There was a post on here the other day (probably a year ago 😂) from a woman who had had a row with her husband because he’d been on a stag where all the other men had had their bag packed by their wives. Just mind-boggling.

I get the ironing and packing, but washing? Isn't it just normal to put whatever is in the basket in when doing a wash? Neither my late wife or I ever just did our own clothes.

We'd just check that there's nothing specific that needs washing first.

Seems impossible that someone can hold down a job and not be able to pack a bag. This bag packing myst be an overhang from an era when men relied on women for care just as children do.

So if he decided later on in the day he'd like to go to the gym and didn't have a bag, would you really refuse to throw some stuff in a bag to help him?

No, I never have. He basically wears the same outfit on repeat (has multiples of the same t-shirt/ jeans etc) because there’s some sensory stuff with clothes for him, and also because he has no idea of what goes together! So it wouldn’t be hard to know what he wanted to take, but it has never occurred to me to do so.

I will pack for myself and for DD who is 5, though she likes to be involved already.

If we’re doing a UK self catering break and taking food/ household stuff I’ll tend to be the one getting that together, though not always and this time (we’re away now) we couldn’t do that for various reasons so he went to the supermarket on day 1 to get what we’d need for the week which he’s perfectly capable of.

I do most our washing and all the ironing, the division of household jobs somehow fell that way. DH could do both if he had to. He does most of the cleaning and washing up and deals with rubbish.

For a family holiday we only take 1-2 bags so everyone gets their own stuff out and I pack it so I can make sure it all fits in. If he's going on his own I don't get involved.

It takes no time at all to chuck some shorts and a t-shirt in a bag. So if it’s no bother for me it’s no bother for him.
I work full time and manage to pack a gym bag and a lunch for every day, so he can manage it as well. And no, it’s not because I hate him 🙄.

Luckily DH behaves like a competent adult who can do things, and would also rather I didn’t go rooting through his drawers so I can find stuff. He knows exactly what he wants and where it is as he put it there in the first place.

I find that really odd too. Do people have separate laundry baskets? Even wash in this house is just whatever is in the basket when it's full. Nobody is picking out their own clothes and just washing them. Not done that since I stopped having flatmates.

I do all the washing and what little ironing gets done in our house (school uniform basically, any additional items are by special request only and I’ll do it if/ when I have time).

Its never made sense to me to do it entirely separately - I just do what needs doing and tend to stick a load on each day.

It’s just the way the division of jobs fell, if I said I wasn’t doing it anymore or if I’m away he manages fine. He does the dishwasher and kitchen wipe down/ tidy at the end of each day for example.

So, no, you're not willing to help him.

Yes. Because if I don’t he will delay us further by “packing” his bag. I usually have more “free time” (read; can organise my time better) and am able to pack the day before we go, but my husband would leave it to the morning of the trip, spend ages faffing around and then after about 3 hours of asking me what we are doing on said trip, he will ask me to help him pack. It’s just easier if I pack from the start because then there’s no delay getting to our destination. He is autistic, which is why he struggles so much.

It's a very different thing to pack your partner's bag, which would never occur to me.

Snap. He’d also never let me, I’m a careless packer and have gone on holiday without sufficient underwear on more than one occasion.

Absolutely not. DH runs a massive department, he can work out how to put a shirt, trousers, passport and deodorant in a bag. If he's very busy and I'm not, I might do a bit of ironing for him if he needs something specific but otherwise he can sort it.

I was raising my eyebrows until I realised that before we started having marriage issues while I did t pack his bag, I would ask him to make sure he told me clothes wise what he needed so I could have them washed and dried and once or twice the night before he was due to go I’d get up at 3 or 4 in the morning to make sure his clothes had dried. Which now makes me roll my eyes at myself!!

Id leave without him if he was going to be like that.

"Meet you at the airport!"

I left a friend behind once, because we needed to get a particular train to get the plane. She was hungover, hadn't packed, insisted on going out for brunch etc.

I said I'd see her later and left the hotel when she went off to brunch.

She missed her flight.

I pack with DH, he has ASD and packing is something he struggles with....too many variables! It is much less stressful all round if we do it together.
Dh can manage to pack for a short trip but a 2 week cruise is a different story.
We work as a team and each play to our strengths.

But why would he not do that himself? I t takes 2 minutes'and he knows what he wants to take.

@FlowerSticker you obviously don't have much understanding of autism. There is a big difference between people who struggle with everyday tasks due to a neurological condition and those who can't be bothered and see it as someone else's job.

Eh no.
Why open yourself up to 'you forgot my .....'