Do you pack your husband’s bag when he goes away..?

[ShillyShallySally]

Was chatting to a friend of a friend the other day. She was having a moan about her useless husband. In the course of this moan she mentioned that she’d had to pack his bag for a work trip. Just breezed past it as if it was the most normal thing. I was like wait…why are you packing his bag for him?? She huffs and puffs about “oh he won’t do it properly” or some shit. Didn’t really have much of an answer.

Mentioned this exchange at work. Seems this is not particularly uncommon. Had women moaning about having to do “all the packing for everyone” for family holidays etc.

i am quite baffled by this. Why are some women packing their husbands bags for them..? If nothing else, my husband wouldn’t want me to pack his bag for him. Being a grown adult he’d rather choose his own clothes.

Some men are absolutely fucking useless but my god, some women really don’t help themselves…

Nope. Never packed a holiday/work trip bag for him. Not once in nearly 2 decades

Blimey, It has never occurred to me that my grown ass DH would need me to pack a bag for him. I'm assuming he can decide what he needs for work or holiday and shove it in a bag.

It's never occurred to me that my DS aged 20 would need me to pack a bag for him when he's been away with mates for a few days.

And they both do their own laundry, so if there isn't anything clean then that's on them.

From a very early age my kids were taught that if it's swimming or PE or something else that day that you need stuff for then you'd better remember to shove it in your bag, along with your HW and take it. Otherwise you'll miss out. I can't remember when I stopped packing for holidays for them, but it was pretty much once they got to about 11 or so I suspect. Even before that it was expected that they sort out what they want to take and I'd give it a quick eye over and make sure that they hadn't forgotten to pack any pants or their toothbrush.

I'm amazed at what some women feel they 'should' do for another adult.

I think I've helped him out when he's had trips with a tight turn-around with little time to sort out fresh supplies. It's nice to help each other out in a partnership.

But generally he's perfectly capable of managing his own laundry and packing and does so with no issue.

After years of organising children's camps, the (male) DCs have always been involved in packing. As ND teens, I send them a list for them to deal with (or they'd risk being more minimalist than good hygiene allows) and they are now involved in doing their own laundry.

I do 👋

However, I do it because I enjoy packing; he obviously chooses his own stuff, but I simply enjoy packing and am happy to do it. He obviously can and has done it, but I like doing it, so I do.

We also tend to split jobs by skillset/enjoyment in this house, so he does loads of stuff I don't enjoy (cleaning toilets, washing, etc.).

We all have our jobs, and they're proportioned out evenly.

@ThejoyofNC "What's the point in being married if you can't even ask your spouse for help"

If I haven't already offered help where it would be appreciated, my spouse is welcome to ask for help for things that it makes sense to ask for help with. He does. I happily help. And he likewise happily helps me.

Neither of us would consider it sensible, on those days where he is on site and I'm not, for him to take time out of both of our working days to ask me to pack him a bag of gym kit. It'd take him less time to locate and pack his things than it would take me. For example, I have no idea where his HRM currently is, nor which trainers / tee / vest / shorts / nutrition he'd want. He could of course tell me this, but that would still take longer and be less efficient than it would be for him to simply pack his own stuff, and he'd have to come home anyway to collect the bag regardless of who packed it.

Were he to ask me to pack him this bag in this situation, that would imply he judges his leisure time to be more important than mine. As that's not a value either of us subscribe to, he doesn't ask me to do things for him which it would be more efficient for him to do for himself, so I'm not being put in situations where I'd not want to help.

*I’m sure this will absolutely blow peoples minds but my husband has never washed the bed sheets, towels, tea towels or blankets. I do, every week because it’s naturally something I think about more and I like them done weekly. It’s not expected of me and I don’t feel like some sort of martyr. Tbh, if I met a man and they took pride in doing their laundry or dare I say, ‘girls jobs’ I’d find them a bit wet??

My 27yo son lives alone.

Who on earth does you think washes his bed sheets, towels, tea towels and blankets?

He also does these things weekly because he also 'naturally' likes a clean environment 🙄

My partner packs his own bag, but i do sometimes repack it to fit more stuff. We travel with small personal items only and I've mastered how to pack the backpack so if he has a space problem, I will help him out. Otherwise, I would absolutely not pack his bag.

It’s the very least a woman should do for her husband

I've never packed for DH (55 years)! Certainly not packing for his next trip either: 400 mile cycle ride, sleeping in a small tent.

Are you sure one pack of condoms is going to be enough for you?

Well, I can fit more in a suitcase than others can 🤷‍♀️
I packed for 3 of us for a Mon-fri trip in a small suitcase. DH hadn't realised that we were only taking one (as I do all holiday admin) packed his stuff in there and said he'd finished and said he'd filled the suitcase just nicely. And it looked full, but I could see it could be better.... I unpacked it and showed him how to repack it properly and got mine and (4yo) DDs stuff in there too.
So yes, there is an art to it...

You don't see anything wrong with thinking laundry is girl's work and men are some how unattractive if they want to clean their bedding...?

I don't see anything wrong with someone having this opinion, no.

How does this opinion by this individual affect me in any way?

No I don’t pack for my husband but I can imagine his mum would have packed for his dad. My MIL was a wonderful woman but the schoolteacher in her would have her organising my FIL unnecessarily.

My grown son told me that he finds ironing relaxing. Sort of meditative. And at the end, you can look at it and feel you’ve accomplished something. He is also the best cook in the family. His girlfriend loves it!

Then should he also do it for her? Wouldn’t that be silly?