Do you pack your husband’s bag when he goes away..?

[ShillyShallySally]

Was chatting to a friend of a friend the other day. She was having a moan about her useless husband. In the course of this moan she mentioned that she’d had to pack his bag for a work trip. Just breezed past it as if it was the most normal thing. I was like wait…why are you packing his bag for him?? She huffs and puffs about “oh he won’t do it properly” or some shit. Didn’t really have much of an answer.

Mentioned this exchange at work. Seems this is not particularly uncommon. Had women moaning about having to do “all the packing for everyone” for family holidays etc.

i am quite baffled by this. Why are some women packing their husbands bags for them..? If nothing else, my husband wouldn’t want me to pack his bag for him. Being a grown adult he’d rather choose his own clothes.

Some men are absolutely fucking useless but my god, some women really don’t help themselves…

WTF? My kids have packed for themselves since around 6, with us watching the process to make sure they had everything essential until they were around 10. It was a few minutes extra effort a few times a year for a few years and now I have kids who can pack bags for going away.

I reckon most adult men are at least as capable as my kids aged 10. Why do some people have such low expectations of men?

if he travels that frequently, he should have a separate toiletries back (with duplicates of what he uses at home) and just leave it in the case.

I would happily pack his bag if I thought it would help him out. It can be stressful to travel so, if I can alleviate stress for him, I will. Equally, he would help me pack (and has done). I wouldn't see this as a problem at all.

Good fucking grief no. They have arms don’t they?

Fuck no. I didn't marry a child. When the kids were small he’d pack for one of them too, but they do it themselves now as well.

How embarrassing. I’ve never done this in several decades, and never will.

The only time I’d help someone pack a bag is if it was an emergency situation, such as a phone call that their parent/child/significant person in their life was dying or something similar, and they had to leave urgently, then I’d be happy to assist to help, both time wise and realising their head may be elsewhere rather than ‘need to pack my toothbrush’. That’s the only scenario though. As for ‘but travel is stressful’…… no, routine travel is not, and does not necessitate having to be helped packing, and if someone suffers from this odd affliction, they should be banned travelling to the local bus stop!

No. But mine is a functioning adult and not a baby. He packed his things fine before he knew me.

I have no desire to be a martyr

Ha ha, no. 😂

No wonder men get away with on average doing less around the house, if women are doing all their thinking for them and packing for them like they're children.

Absolutely not. Actually my DH packs for himself and the kids, I look after myself. He prefers to pack days in advance whereas i am a last minute Larry

No definitely not. I also don’t plan his journey, wash his clothes in preparation for the trip or wake him up to make sure he doesn’t miss a flight… because he is a fully functioning grown up not an eight year old.

Yes I do .
I pack the bags and he sorts our passports and any tickets /printing /airport stuff /car parking

🤣
it’s me that travels for work, I’d be fucking flabbergasted if dh presented me with my packed case!
Absolutely not do we pack anything for each other… kids pack their own shit when we go on holiday too, oh and there’s not a sniff of an iron anywhere in sight!

We don’t even pack for our ten year old, if we share one suitcase neither of us pretends that one person must pack everything for some weird special reason, the special reason being partnered with a child but people pretending its because no one could pack as well as them, or an item might get a teeny tiny crease etc.

Why is that your issue?

No. Never have. I also slowed packing DD’s bag/case when she was in Year 7 and this summer I won’t be packing DS’ either - and he has ASD!

My friend is like this though. Complains about her husband and teen boys. Her 16 year old didn’t eat tea the other night as he got home from a sports club early and no-one was there to make it for him. And when I say make it, I mean heat it up. Marry a feckless idiot, watch your sons turn out the same.

I pack very efficiently and so when we go away as a family I make everyone lay out their stuff on the spare bed and then I put everything into the cases because we don't have a case each. I frequently have to edit down DH's pile of stuff because he'll take 3 thick woolen jumpers and 4 pairs of jeans to Spain in the summer and frankly I need that space for other stuff. So I pack the cases but get everyone else to do the hard work. My teens have been able to sort their own stuff out for years with a bit of guidance.

But if DH is going away without me then he packs for himself (and the kids when they were little) and always has.

When I was young and my Mum was constantly travelling up and down to her parents as they were aging she would cook a weeks worth of meals in advance for my Dad, once I was a teen and able to cook I was the one who was responsible for the food (not my Dad)!

When we go away together and share a suitcase my husband leaves out everything he wants to take and I pack it along with mine as I’m better at cramming stuff in.

The rest of the time he packs for himself as frankly I have enough to do and he’s not a helpless baby.

No, he packs his own bag- he's a fully functioning adult not a manchild

No.

My husband has never packed a bag.

In fact, he will often call me on the way home from work to ask me to throw him a gym bag together so he can quickly grab it and go straight to the gym.

But I don't hate my husband so I'm happy to do things for him.

No, why on earth should I?

@ThejoyofNC It's so great you found each other. You'd probably hate my husband, he just gets on and does things. He'd pack a gym bag before going to work, and he'd also take it with him, so he can go directly to the gym from work and save some time, which he could then put to use doing his share of the housework.

I like this feature of my husband.

It's more about not being a doormat. His time is not more valuable than mine and he is not a helpless baby.
My kids are 8 and 10 and pack their own bags.

I do because he does all the admin for the holiday which I don't want to do.

I mean you don’t even have to do this. We normally share a case between us, I pack my own stuff in one half he packs his. Easy peasy.