Do you pack your husband’s bag when he goes away..?

[ShillyShallySally]

Was chatting to a friend of a friend the other day. She was having a moan about her useless husband. In the course of this moan she mentioned that she’d had to pack his bag for a work trip. Just breezed past it as if it was the most normal thing. I was like wait…why are you packing his bag for him?? She huffs and puffs about “oh he won’t do it properly” or some shit. Didn’t really have much of an answer.

Mentioned this exchange at work. Seems this is not particularly uncommon. Had women moaning about having to do “all the packing for everyone” for family holidays etc.

i am quite baffled by this. Why are some women packing their husbands bags for them..? If nothing else, my husband wouldn’t want me to pack his bag for him. Being a grown adult he’d rather choose his own clothes.

Some men are absolutely fucking useless but my god, some women really don’t help themselves…

Hell no. My 6yo, unprompted and without me needing to check, packed knickers, socks, trousers, tops, jumper, books and a teddy for a trip away. Nothing missed, she even managed to fold her clothes. These men must be laughing at their wives, thinking “what can I make her do for me today?”

Definitely not but I do rattle through a list of essentials once he has packed to double check he hasn’t forgotten everything. I do the same with my own stuff as so easy to forget.

I tend to pack for everyone if it's a family holiday as it's more efficient. I am happy to do it and prefer it this way. DH does his own bag for a solo or work trip though.

I don't know why this is making some people so cross. Households work differently. I am in charge of some areas (including holidays and packing), DH is in charge of others. We don't do everything 50/50, we do things according to skills, inclination and availability.

I dunno. I mean division of labour in general household tasks is necessary but packing is such a personal thing. I just genuinely cannot fathom an individual who would delegate their choice of clothing etc to another person.

Yes, similar here. If he’s away for work I have nothing to do with that.

If it’s for a holiday he puts it all out and we pack together working out the logistics of what to put where. We do it differently if we’re going on a road trip than if we’re watching the weight of individual suitcases.

Do I remind him of what to put out? Yes if there is a special trip we’re going, but not otherwise.

PIL have the opposite issue. FIL packs and MIL blames him when her hair tools aren’t there …

I don’t hate my partner, in fact I quite like him. But I expect him to pack for himself (and in fact he would hate me packing for him). Liking someone doesn’t mean you have to behave like their mother.

Is his name Kevin?

Hell no.

It's a major faff with lots of lists and he takes everything but the kitchen sink.

How do you know what your dh wants to wear on holiday.? Hiw is being a middle man between him and his case efficient?

You mean, you don't wipe it for him??? 😱😱

Do you hate your husband??

Everyone has packed their own stuff here since they could count reliably, so from about 3 years old.
When they were little I would say each item aloud (eg 7 pairs of socks) and they would find them in their drawer and count them out, then we’d go on to the next item.

Once they could read, I gave them a written list.

I think from about 8 they were fully in charge of the whole process.

Things have sometimes been forgotten on trips. Everyone forgets things occasionally. We either muddle through, or buy a replacement.

I take charge of laundry and ironing for the whole household, so I do some of the work in that sense. Up to the owner to put them in the laundry basket with plenty of time before the trip though.

DH and I tend to share a bag, and each put our own stuff in it. But I would add his too when I was packing if it was already laid out on the bed, and it was obvious what he wanted to bring. He would do the same for me.

We just do what is easiest and most pragmatic rather than making a stand for the sake of it. We’re all happy to help each other out if needed.

Dh’s gym bag is like Mary Poppins’s bag with a million different things so I wouldn’t dream of touching it or interfering.

Nope. He does his own. Also his own washing. My mum used to pack for my dad until she forgot his underwear one year!

Yes 8 year old dgc packs for himself under supervision. Working on rolling and packing cube method now

I will pack a shared suitcase, but will not pick his clothes. He needs to do that

Suitcase is out around 4-5 days before leaving. Clothes get piled in it. I pack it all the night before. Whatever gets put in the suitcase gets packed. I don't check if he's out enough shirts in etc. when i do the actual packing.

Hell no because I didn’t marry a baby.
No wonder young men are so bloody useless and end up alone if this is the model they are shown.

Imagine a grown woman who can’t put petrol in her car. Or make a hot drink, or make her own bed etc etc

Although I often say my husband is a lazy fucker, i have never packed his work case for him. For a holiday he gets all his own stuff organised and I pack it in the cubes.

How would you know what he wants to wear?? If I’m going on a work trip for 10 days there is no way DH would know what I would need to wear for clients dinners, workshops etc. Unthinkable! How would anyone else know what shoes you might like? Or which swimming costume you would prefer on holiday? Or which chargers/ tech he might want to take? So weird to outsource that thinking!

I don't think it's ever occurred to me that anyone would pack their partner's bag for them until today! I'd absolutely hate it if anyone packed mine - not only do I not understand why you'd do it for your partner, I don't understand why you'd want it done by them for you? It's very important to me that I know exactly what I'm taking with me.

Obviously DP and I remind each other of essentials when we're both packing our own bags but that's just yelling out "do you have the portable charger" or whatever.

This is what we do.
I am married to a man not a child.

God no. I have occasionally put the stuff he assembled on the bed into the suitcase, simply because I am better at packing using all available space.

Otherwise we have our own jobs. He does toothbrush, travel speaker and all chargers. I do “kitchen stuff” (tea bags, washing leaves, water bottles etc.).

We both then repeatedly ask each other if all the things we’ve previously forgotten on trips (swimming gear, prescription sunglasses…) are packed.

Exactly - I barely know ahead of time what I want to wear (which is why I tend towards overpacking) so how would he know?!

No but my mum does for my dad. I don’t think he’s packed a bag to go away in his life
yes he repacks to come back again but that’s easier and there is always, always something left behind

yes it’s ridiculous

dh sorts his own stuff but I end up either packing DCs stuff for them or otherwise directing them so 80% of the household packing (we often fill the car) is done by me. DH however is the master of actually fitting it into the the car once packed

Absolutely not. My kids don’t even want me to pack their bags anymore.

No. My mum did for my dad (though he was quite capable) but I decided I wasn't going to get into that.