Do you pack your husband’s bag when he goes away..?

[ShillyShallySally]

Was chatting to a friend of a friend the other day. She was having a moan about her useless husband. In the course of this moan she mentioned that she’d had to pack his bag for a work trip. Just breezed past it as if it was the most normal thing. I was like wait…why are you packing his bag for him?? She huffs and puffs about “oh he won’t do it properly” or some shit. Didn’t really have much of an answer.

Mentioned this exchange at work. Seems this is not particularly uncommon. Had women moaning about having to do “all the packing for everyone” for family holidays etc.

i am quite baffled by this. Why are some women packing their husbands bags for them..? If nothing else, my husband wouldn’t want me to pack his bag for him. Being a grown adult he’d rather choose his own clothes.

Some men are absolutely fucking useless but my god, some women really don’t help themselves…

I mean I "train" him to do it how I want it done, i.e. to my standards, not to train him to do things at all. I.e. he now irons his socks and boxer shorts (and my underwear too if he's ironing them), but he'd never have done that before we got together!! But he'd always ironed his own work shirts and trousers etc. - I didn't need to "train" him to do that!

I can’t understand how so many people (and, what a surprise, it’s mainly men) are so bad at packing the suitcase. Pick up item, put in suitcase. These people (men) have such terribly important jobs but can’t do this?!? Nonsense!

Socks and pants do not ever need ironing. That's just pure madness.

Well, there's an art to getting more in than just flinging stuff in willy nilly.

DH will declare a suitcase full, but has just shoved stuff in. Itake it all outward show him how to fold properly and he does it again, and lonand behold there's 40% space left

I agree. I find my DH a lot more "sexy" when I'm not knackered from spending all day doing household chores, i.e. when he's done his fair share of the gardening, cleaning, washing up, ironing, putting clothes/bedding away, changed the bed, etc etc. I'd have no time nor inclination for being intimate with a bloke who'd let me do it all and not offered to help!

Each to their own. I like the way they sit better/neater in the drawer. But you do you, I'll do me.

Ha ha no way. DH would never entertain it. In fact if we go away for a night with one bag I put my
stuff out and he packs it

This sounds more controlling than training if I'm honest 🤔

I don't think I've ever looked in his wardrobe? Feels like an invasion of privacy? Id hate him to rifle through mine!
It is one of many many icks about men, imagine marrying someone who can't or won't pack their own bag 🤢

You do you, and you tell your husband how to do it too.

Seems a bit unfair

But whatever.

I'll enjoy my wrinkly socks and pants, and extra free time, and you can enjoy your neater drawers

I work. Just PT only a few days. I don't have to do any more. I was a SAHM for many years and got to look after and raise my children.

I also cook for my husband, I also help him pack when he's going to be away for weeks on end. He finds it hard to be away from family and works long hours.

‘Wet’???????? Bloody hell. It’s not about taking pride in doing laundry or washing bed linen….its about doing it because you’re an adult.

I don’t take any pride in doing laundry. Or bed linen. Does that mean I’m not a very good women ?

I’m a grown up and they are things that need doing. I don’t consider them ‘girls jobs’ and would have the total ick for any man who used that terminology or suggested there was such a thing.

Being successful and capable in all areas of life is very sexy!

@Russland You've admitted your husband "finds it hard to be away from family and works long hours." Any way you could think of in supporting him him to reduce his hours at all? Give him more precious family time and less stress? Asides from packing his bag? 😀

My DH is capable enough to be on the board at his company; I would be surprised if he wasn’t capable of packing some outfits, pants, socks, and a toothbrush for himself.

Does this woman’s DH need this much support in general? Can he go to a supermarket, answer an email, make a GP appointment, turn on the dishwasher, change a nappy, hold down a job, or catch a train all on his own, like a big boy?

I think some women are scared that if they don't wait on their men hand and foot, another woman will.

Or they've been made to believe this by the lazy men.

Frankly I can barely manage to pack a bag for myself, let alone anyone else, but even if I was an expert packer I'd still expect DP to pack for himself because, y'know, grown man and all that and he can decide for himself what he wants to take on his travels.

I don't know, I wouldn't judge without having the full details of the rest of their life.

I tend to pack my own staff because it would take me more time to go through the list of what I want/ need with my husband than doing it myself frankly.
And even for a sports event, he won't know if I wanted to wear a blue top or a pink one.. But that's me, it's not about being useless or not, it's about being fussy. If he just had to pick up 2 black suits and 3 white shirts and underwear, I am sure he would if I was away all day (but he still wouldn't know what underwear I want to wear, so again, not helpful 😂.)
DH genuinely could not care less if he's taking and wearing black or grey boxers.

I think it's DH who packed my hospital bags when I had my kids because i couldn't be bothered to do it.

God no! We’d coordinate on packing but no way he’d want me choosing his clothes.

the 2 are not exclusive.

Adults like you or I do chores because as you said, they need to be done.
I am always a bit puzzled by people who are PROUD of their dusting or ironing skill, or even their baking skills.

I can't say I would find a man priding himself on doing laundry very attractive. I expect him to DO it, be clean and organised cause I absolutely hate mess, but proud?

Exactly! All these men who can have such important jobs but can’t pack a bag or complete any number of other tasks.

You know there is no day to day domestic task beyond someone who can have a successful career. The only thing missing is the will and the need. Funny how women get to do both!

I read so many threads on here about people who are unhappy in their marriages because they have to do all the doing and all the thinking whilst holding down their own career and you just know how they got there.

Well, that's wonderful! Sounds like you do a lot for him and I'm sure he appreciates it! ❤

@Am99

Tbh, if I met a man and they took pride in doing their laundry or dare I say, ‘girls jobs’ I’d find them a bit wet??

Christ. So you are happy being saddled with all the shit household jobs and running around wiping your husband’s arse because you think it’s “wet” to have pride in hygiene or your surroundings?

Its like the the 20th century never happened

He does. Just as I appreciate that he works long hard days for us to be able to afford the holidays in the first place.

(But he still has to pack his own bags 😂)

I'm afraid you massively undermine what you say in your first paragraph by then announcing that you think basic household tasks are 'girls' jobs' and that men who can do them are 'a bit wet'.

Packing your husband's bag for him because you like doing it, as you say, doesn't make you a slave/martyr. Classifying tasks as 'girls' jobs' and thinking men are emasculated by doing them, however, absolutely does.

I, personally, would think a grown adult man who couldn't or wouldn't look after himself was a giant incapable baby, and my fanny would snap shut like a clam at the mere thought.

Both DH and I work away, me more than him, and we both work long hours. Luckily there’s a family of foxes nearby that have looked after DD so we haven’t had the bother of parenting as well.

(Not really. I managed to find a man that can look after himself and DD just as well as I can. Well, once I’d grown her and pushed her out and finished feeding her. From that point we went back to being equals with brains that secured gainful employment and could ensure everything at home needed to function. We will definitely donate these brains to science when the time inevitably comes given they are apparently so incredibly rare.)

It seems amazing that some men can stand up outside of work without their wives having to hold them from some of the stories on here. And it’s 2026. Utterly baffling.