Refusing to drive on a motorway/long distance in a Fiat 500?

[CheeseSandwich1]

What the title says really!

DC’s Dad and I aren’t together. He moved 30 minutes away and now lives in the countryside.
He expects me to drive to his new home but it’s very hilly and is in the arse end of nowhere, I really don’t feel comfortable driving there in my small car. For reference his own Mum also won’t drive there in her small car.

I also really don’t like motorway driving in my car as I feel nervous as it’s so small and I have to put my youngest in the front seat rear facing. This means anywhere the children need to go that includes motorway driving DC’s Dad has to take them.

I can’t afford to upgrade my car at the moment.

DC’s Dad thinks I’m being unreasonable about driving but he has a huge car (I would feel safe if I had his car as the children are all in proper car seats in the middle of back of the car).

AIBU?

Definitely must be for an RF seat!

So you both moved.

I think your anger at him is coming out as anger at the car, the hills, the motorway, the car seats and so on. Can you talk to someone about your anger at him? I think you’ll find the other things eg car won’t matter so much then.

I genuinely don’t understand where you’re coming from.

I have both a Defender and a Fiat 500. I feel just as safe in both of them when driving. In fact, I prefer driving the Fiat and if I was going on just a 30 minute journey, I would take the Fiat.

Defender is only used for big supermarket shops and when travelling across the country to see grandparents.

’feeling safe’ in vehicles with poor safety ratings is perhaps more a matter of luck than judgement.

This is the exact reason I told DD never to buy something small like a fiat 500 because in an accident with a larger vehicle she’ll just be crushed. I’d never dream of driving such a small car with DC anyway. I’m sure they’re probably pretty solid but I just wouldn’t want to take that chance having been in a few serous no fault of mine accidents in the past.

@CheeseSandwich1 I get it. It probably wouldn't stop me but I would feel vulnerable driving around in a little car like that. Especially in amongst a few artics on a motorway.

Unfortunately if your ex doesn't get it there is not much you can do. I suppose you could try to get him to think about "what if" scenarios - after all they are his kids too. Apart from that I would look into getting a better car, sounds like your vehicle is restricting your freedom

My dd wanted a fiat 500. We weren’t keen as it is small in the event of a collision. I get why you do not want to drive such a small car on the motorway, however, it is 10 fold safer than country roads.

And I agree that your ex should do the majority of the driving to and from his house. He chose to Move away.

UGH! A Fiat 500 - and fairly old by the sounds of it - does not have much protection from a crash. For the sake of his children's welfare, I'd have thought he'd have got you a safer car, given that he can afford a luxury tractor. Maybe, just maybe, he could have put the children first and got two sensible cars instead of one swanky one just for himself.

God, I hate men.

P.S. That UGH at the beginning was about him giving himself a big luxury car while you have a small one. It wasn't aimed at your car!

Well, you're not equally safe in both of them, not by a long shot. You're far safer in the Defender. Fiat 500s are tiny cars.

Excuses.

My friend and then her closest friends all have fiat 500s and manage fine driving everywhere. I feel your being a teeny tiny bit silly.

Op sorry you’re not looking at this in a reasonable way.

You not wanting to drive the Fiat is not actually related to what car your ex has. It is completely irrelevant.

The issue is your confidence and resentment. A Fiat is perfectly fine to drive on motorways. I used to do 4 hour journeys up the motorway in my Ford KA (which i was told has some of the same engine/car parts as a Fiat 500) and it was completely fine.

Just the fact that you have said a 30 min journey is ‘long distance’ should show you’re blowing this out of proportion.

With the rear facing car seat issue, maybe consider a 360 spin seat? We have one and it’s brilliant.

To be honest, I agree with you. I drive a van. When I am in a car I feel really vulnerable because I am.

I think he needs to do a lot more driving.

Stop blaming him for your situation. I have a 4 year old and im pregnant again me and their dad haven’t been properly together or living together for years but he has never stopped me from earning my own money as I’ve always been clever enough to not financially depend on a man. My child went to a childminders two days a week then 4 days a week as she got older and now does pre school for 6 hours per day. My baby is already on the list for when they are a year old to enable me to work part time through choice because then it is on me and gives me the freedom to work.

I don’t sit here and resent, feel jealous of and resent my children’s dad just because he earns more than me it’s absolutely a waste of energy and In reality you are the only person in control of your life and how to better your life.

I used to regularly drive from Lancashire to Yorkshire (M62) in my Fiat 126 with the kids in the back . It would chug quite happily up the hills. One memorable night it started snowing heavily and a 90 minute journey turned into 5 hours of crawling traffic. The little Fiat battled on between the tracks the lorries had made and only stopped when we reached my mum’s house and the snow was too deep !

It doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks. U feel nervous. Nerves and driving is not a good combination. U are also saying u are concerned re the children's safety. No doubt he knew this would be an issue. It's his choice to move to that spot, so i would say he needs to come up with the solution.

It was the OP's choice to use his address to put her kids in a school that she has to drive to. She's not just talking about driving them to his house for the time he has them.

30 minutes get a grip. A car is a car?! I drove 5 hours in a 3 door Fiesta.

This is a you problem. A larger car makes what difference sorry?

There’s less bodywork around you in an accident. We ruled out the 500 years ago for this exact reason. I think they only have 3 star euro n-cap and low score for occupant safety. I think anyone driving a 500 on the motorway is pretty brave tbh. And I say that as a confident driver who uses all roads & has been driving for a very long time. I know a couple of people who have had nasty motorway accidents (some died) and live near some busy motorways which are frequently closed for accidents so perhaps I’m hyper aware.

Safety.
Comparing a fiesta to a 500 is laughable, they are not alike.
Tell me you don’t understand road safety without telling me you don’t understand road safety. Go watch some euro ncap videos.

You're being a bit drippy

Fiat 500s do really well in the hills. I live in the flat Fens but regularly dry to Bath and every other car there is a 500 all parked up and down the hills.
Last yr my car did Cambs to London and back, Cambs to Bath and back and Cambs to N. Yorkshire and back in the space of a week and she was fine!

Part of the reason smaller cars aren’t as “safe” is the number of twats who insist on driving round in giant tanks and basically drive excessively large and heavy cars. For instance if the woman who crashed into that school in Wimbledon had been in a Fiat 500 I doubt very much she would have caused the devastation she did. You might feel “safe” but you make others, including children, on the roads less safe.

I agree with you OP. I had a small suzuky at one point and I was terified of driving on motorways, when the wind blew you could definetly feel it and had to be extra focused and hold onto that wheel extra hard, it was also not very stable on the road due to it's boxy shape, I think Fiat500 is the same boxy shape.No one can tell me that a small tin like boxy car has the same stability on the road as an estate or even normal sedan car, it just doesn't. Also, in case of accident you are more likely to serious injury when the distance between the front of the car to passenger is small, is just pure physics. Don't do it.

You shouldn’t be driving at all! Totally ridiculous.