Refusing to drive on a motorway/long distance in a Fiat 500?

[CheeseSandwich1]

What the title says really!

DC’s Dad and I aren’t together. He moved 30 minutes away and now lives in the countryside.
He expects me to drive to his new home but it’s very hilly and is in the arse end of nowhere, I really don’t feel comfortable driving there in my small car. For reference his own Mum also won’t drive there in her small car.

I also really don’t like motorway driving in my car as I feel nervous as it’s so small and I have to put my youngest in the front seat rear facing. This means anywhere the children need to go that includes motorway driving DC’s Dad has to take them.

I can’t afford to upgrade my car at the moment.

DC’s Dad thinks I’m being unreasonable about driving but he has a huge car (I would feel safe if I had his car as the children are all in proper car seats in the middle of back of the car).

AIBU?

You’re being ridiculous. Whilst small, fiat 500’s are engineered to be very safe. They stand up very well to accidents etc. I had one for years and loved it. Drove it on the motorway without issue.

I hope you do this and get the bastard to pay what he should.

My dad fiddled the claim and paid £5 maintenance per week to my mum. If it makes you feel any better, now I have kids I will never truly forgive him for it.

A car is a car designed to go on roads and motorways . Unless it is an off road country laneway ,this argument is ridiculous. But you and the ex should share lifts. A thirty minute drive is nothing .

Exactly, I drove from Edinburgh to Cheltenham in a tiny Kia Picanto a month after I passed my test. It was absolutely fine.

What’s your concern regarding your small car? It’s a motorway in the UK - you’re not taking part in a bumper cars game.

Drive to the speed limit, observe traffic rules and take it steady.

If you can’t manage at all then I’d strongly suggest some driving lessons in your own car to get over this unreasonable fear.

If you don't feel safe, do not do it
Anyone saying anything else is being unreasonable, not you

Yes and quite rightly. Do you think it’s right that while they were together he made sure she had a big family car but gives zero fucks now when he left her high and dry financially? And he was a cringey 40 year old man getting a 22 year old pregnant too 🤢

Go and book some motorway driving lessons. You can use your own car.
You are not obliged to be driving at 80 in the third lane. In a small engined car you’d be fine with the lorry’s going 56mph and stay in lane one, if you’re really nervous…but you’ll soon get the hang of it.

OP’s just having a vent. She’s having to adjust to a serious change in circumstances. It sounds like she’s used to living the high life and now is going to have to get a job as a single mother with low earning potential. I can imagine that sucks for her.

@RumPidgeon The concern is it's a car that is smaller than his.

I think you’re being over thinking the logistics of your car. But if you’re nervous then that’s a bigger safety risk than the car itself.

however, he moved and with that he should have considered the kids. It’s up to him to get them. Even if he lived round the corner I would expect him to do drop offs and pickups if they live the majority of the time with you

Hang on- he didn't 'get her pregnant' against her will. Presumably she had some say in getting pregnant.

I agree with the rest though.

If he had any decency at all he'd by her a bigger car because it's for HIS children's safety.

I agree a bit that a small car is less safe but it's only a short trip - 30 mins in total, which includes hills and a motorway.

Oh give over.

He's been a dick and she’s pissed off. It’s not about getting a bigger car than him, she just wants something a bit easier to run the kids around in. He was the one who made her drive in a big family car when they were together, why doesn’t he care now?

@CheeseSandwich1 How many miles is it on the motorway?
You also mention hills and country roads.

How far in miles is each?

The OP described it as rural, very hilly. And his own mother wouldn’t drive there. He has a large car. I was thinking North Yorkshire, Wensleydale area in the Yorkshire dales. Perhaps parts of Wales. We don’t know.
And as you have been caught up in a flooded road system you will know how alarming that can be. Add in small children and a small car and I can see how she might be anxious about that. In Winter when it gets dark early particularly so.
I was just having a bit of empathy with her concerns.

Sorry meant to quote a previous reply to my original post.

Small cars are not intrinsically less safe. Any car on the market in the last 40 or so years will have been designed to be safe and suitable for motorway driving.

It’s worth about 2k, so not really! Maybe I’ll just refuse to drive until ex pulls his finger out his arse

You could get a bigger car for £2K plus a bit.

How is he getting away with fraud- ie saying he earns a pittance when he's earning a huge amount and has a car worth over £100k?

Have you taken legal advice on the lies he's telling for your child maintenance?

Depends on the fiat 500. Is it the 900cc one? They are very bouncy/jittery and do mess up one's back on a long journey. the 1.2 one is much smoother.

YABU. A Fiat 500 is perfectly OK for motorway driving with, or without, a child in a rear facing front seat.

They are less safe simply because you have less metal around you in an accident.

I drove kids around in a Kia Picanto, which is tiny. It was fine.

That isn't actually true.

I'm not arguing about any of that. I'm sure OP's grievances are fair and legitimate. But pretending a Fiat 500 can't do motorways and hills for 30 minutes is pretty lame. If this is true her car isn't roadworthy at all and/or she isn't competent enough to drive it. Deal with the issues.

I have a Fiat 500 and I don't take it on the motorway - for some reason it goes into limp home mode! Trying to get to the bottom of it, but no one can find anything "wrong" with it. It does feel very small, especially going past lorries etc!

https://www.forbes.com/sites/tanyamohn/2025/02/28/bigger-vehicles-arent-always-safer-they-can-even-be-more-dangerous/