To have asked what his daughter normally eats in a foodless house??

[AlwaysSomeKunceInTheWay]

Bloke I’ve been seeing invited me over for dinner Saturday night. Idea was he’d cook dinner, I stay the night and then drive to the coast Sunday morning.

So I got there and he said he’d decided we should get a takeaway instead of him cooking. I said I don’t like to eat takeaway but I’m happy to eat anything … beans on toast would do. He said he didn’t have anything in. No bread, nothing. I’d noticed there was a pizza in the fridge so I suggested we cook that, he said no as it’s his daughters (she lives with him, 12) and she’d given strict instructions not to touch it. I said “well surely we could just replace it tomorrow before she comes home?” He said no as she’d made it herself … it was an asda pizza!! Ok she may have chosen the toppings but surely we could have just had the same one made again??

Anyway I agreed to the takeaway but made it clear that I wouldn’t be making a habit of it as I’m health conscious. I ended up paying for half of it which normally I would expect but he’d invited me over for dinner!!?

Anyway next morning we got up, he made a coffee and then said we’d only be able to have the one as he was running low on coffee but he said he had plenty of tea bags in. I don’t drink tea.

Anyway time is ticking on and he asked if I was ready to head out to the coast … I said “are we not having any breakfast?” He replied “I don’t really have anything in”. So I said “no cereal?” He said no. I said “what do you normally do for breakfast?” So he said “I don’t normally bother or I have a packet of crisps”.

Now the next thing I said is my AIBU …

I said “what does your daughter eat for breakfast?”. He looked pissed off and started stuttering etc before saying she just has crisps or whatever. I didn’t say anything else but I told him I’d be stopping off at shop on the way to buy MYSELF something to eat. He then starts banging on about McDonald’s breakfast etc etc which I refused.

Hes messaged me this morning saying he’s a bit upset that I implied his daughter isn’t well taken care of. I simply asked what she normally had for breakfast since there was fuck all in the cupboards!!

Was I wrong to ask??

We used to have our main meals at my grans who lived around the corner. My dad (only parent, mum died when young) would only buy food for us for weekend on the weekend, then stuff for pack up for school, so similarly always had crisps etc in. Tbh, my brother used to go back for snacks on his way home as a teenager too. We were left money to go to the shop for our dinner for Saturday.

I dont know what his family set up is but could it be anything similar?

How can it be 'more efficient' to have no food at all and have to buy everything if you want to eat at home. Even if you don't cook, wouldn't you have stuff for breakfast, hot drinks, half used bags of pasta, rice etc?

I always thought the likes of Hello Fresh was a bit gimmicky, but perhaps there is a market for people who want to pay over the odds to buy their chilli powder one teaspoon at a time.

Agree. I remember many years ago we had invited another couple round for dinner and made a real effort. I’m a keen cook and really not a takeaway fan. A few months later they invited us to theirs for dinner. They hadn’t prepared anything and suggested we get a bucket of KFC. I was so pissed off. It’s just weird, I’m not sure what they were thinking.
But I’m glad OP has contacted the school as this is next level and sounds like neglect. I really hope this young girl will be ok, it sounds like both parents are not coping.

How on earth is it more efficient to shop as you go when you’ve a child in the house.

Poor kid. A useless dad, no food, messy home, random women staying over. Was she there, had you actually met her before you stayed in her home? Where was she when the food squabble was going on and then the trip to the coast?

I don’t think he’s a shop as you go kind of man since he said thet usually eating crisps for breakfast. If you shop as you go, then you’d go and shop for at least the next morning.

I can’t believe his cheek in saying you implied his daughter isn’t well looked after! Sorry bud but she isn’t is she, as you give her crisps for breakfast and the only other food you possess is a pizza that she had to tell you not to eat?

At her grandmothers

Wait, you stayed to SHAG HIM ???

Surely if the daughter's overweight the house isn't always foodless? I'm presuming you've met her, OP?

Sorry to say, but I don't think a school is going to take a safeguarding referral of too much takeaway very seriously.

It was never relevant. I sometimes had vinegar but that was it. I didn’t drink tea or coffee, I didn’t eat breakfast, and to this day I would sooner stick pins in my eyes than rice and pasta as it is horrible.

I would get more before a weekend but still not enough to have anything left over

The only thing that appears unreasonable is you spent the night with the slob!

I didn’t say I had a child in the house. I was pointing out that shop as you go works for some people.

Yeah. I was a bit 🤦‍♂️ at that too.

Bet the sheets were crusty!

Have you read the full thread.?Mom has serious MH issues and doesn't need any further triggers to push her over the edge

Poor kid. Staying at Granny's so df can have a woman staying over in his messy foodless house.

I hope school's safeguarding follows up.

She's ignoring it so definitely did 🤢

Yes how embarrassing 😳

Surely she didn't shag him. I wonder if the trip to the coast went ahead despite only crumbs and tea <that she doesn't drink> in the house before departure.

All of this 👏🏼

I'm surprised at the sniffy attitude to takeaway. I'm not a junk food fan but so many places do healthy options now. Even restaurants often have a takeout option.

It isn't all burgers and chips nowadays.

Wow. Where is his head at inviting you to stay and not having the very basic food supplies to offer tea and toast. His poor Daughter, that’s messed up.

You weren’t being unreasonable to ask, I have 3 boys who cupboard raid a lot….
Still at the end of the week when I’m due to go shopping there will still be porridge oats, beans, pasta and other what I call cupboard staples in.
The kids will moan that there is nothing to eat, they mean they’ve eaten all the fresh fruit etc

I'd just block and delete tbh.

Was there a child you were responsible for feeding in the middle of this weird set up?

Another useless man child. That poor girl! Bullet dodged OP