To have asked what his daughter normally eats in a foodless house??

[AlwaysSomeKunceInTheWay]

Bloke I’ve been seeing invited me over for dinner Saturday night. Idea was he’d cook dinner, I stay the night and then drive to the coast Sunday morning.

So I got there and he said he’d decided we should get a takeaway instead of him cooking. I said I don’t like to eat takeaway but I’m happy to eat anything … beans on toast would do. He said he didn’t have anything in. No bread, nothing. I’d noticed there was a pizza in the fridge so I suggested we cook that, he said no as it’s his daughters (she lives with him, 12) and she’d given strict instructions not to touch it. I said “well surely we could just replace it tomorrow before she comes home?” He said no as she’d made it herself … it was an asda pizza!! Ok she may have chosen the toppings but surely we could have just had the same one made again??

Anyway I agreed to the takeaway but made it clear that I wouldn’t be making a habit of it as I’m health conscious. I ended up paying for half of it which normally I would expect but he’d invited me over for dinner!!?

Anyway next morning we got up, he made a coffee and then said we’d only be able to have the one as he was running low on coffee but he said he had plenty of tea bags in. I don’t drink tea.

Anyway time is ticking on and he asked if I was ready to head out to the coast … I said “are we not having any breakfast?” He replied “I don’t really have anything in”. So I said “no cereal?” He said no. I said “what do you normally do for breakfast?” So he said “I don’t normally bother or I have a packet of crisps”.

Now the next thing I said is my AIBU …

I said “what does your daughter eat for breakfast?”. He looked pissed off and started stuttering etc before saying she just has crisps or whatever. I didn’t say anything else but I told him I’d be stopping off at shop on the way to buy MYSELF something to eat. He then starts banging on about McDonald’s breakfast etc etc which I refused.

Hes messaged me this morning saying he’s a bit upset that I implied his daughter isn’t well taken care of. I simply asked what she normally had for breakfast since there was fuck all in the cupboards!!

Was I wrong to ask??

Please tell me you've dumped and blocked him.

So, when’s your next date, @AlwaysSomeKunceInTheWay?

Although, looking at your username I’m not sure I want to take this thread terribly seriously …

Are your sister and partner really rich?

to be honest, I think many people genuinely love the taste of take-away and read-meals and are too scare to eat anything other than the 2 or 3 meals they have on rotation

Probably the same that fell over themselves on a recent thread (MIL being a fussy guest ) to explain that granola is some exotic unusual food item and that everybody would be shocked/ horrified if that was the only option 😂

or that Tacos (I think it was tacos) is such an alien concept, it's cruel to offer it to guests who allegedly "eat anything"

Or that it's physically not possible to cook pretty much from scratch every day (as in, making an omelette for diner..) if you work

Some people are a bit weird with food

Where is the girls mum in all this? Or have I missed that?

Did you shag? Order him a big food shop. Be kind.

He is clueless and he's low effort.
dirty, messy, overweight, neglectful and no idea of how to treat a woman or how to look after a kid.
Not a good catch

If you can't afford to buy basic foodstuffs, you can't afford to date.

Ah FFS he sounds gross. Walk away now, he needs someone to look after him / them.

No, be kind and do him a 200 quid shop. We all need a little kindness.

Don't forget a Nescafe..And pizzas..

when you have a child to take care, absolutely this!

How do you think he would treat you if you were unwell.

my ex friends husband went to his mums for dinner when she was sick and didn’t get her anything.

Well that was a timely warning @AlwaysSomeKunceInTheWay . If it sounded like you were saying his DD wasn't well taken care of then that's about right. That poor child will grow up obese because her own DF can't be bothered to cook or shop

God the poor daughter. I hope he manages to step up and provide proper food for her and maybe learn how to cook a couple of basic meals.

They obviously live off takeaways and meals out. It’s not good. If you have a child you should have some normal foods in stock - bread, milk, eggs, fruit, cheese etc and tins in the cupboard even if your next big shop is coming up.

So gross. Bin.

Guy you're dating doesn't make an effort when you go to his to spend the night. You see it all, no food/house unkempt/stains on the sofa, and you "spend the night" anyway...
Is he amazing in bed? He must be because I can't fathom why you didn't just walk then and there. I'd likely tell him that Yes, it is very questionable how your daughter is cared for.

This is unbelievably weird.

This!

You have high standards regarding the food you eat, but not the men you sleep with? Righto.

I know a couple of men like this who “don’t eat”, it’s a total red flag!! I’m really concerned about his daughter though tbh 😕

Or you'd warn them in that scenario! - sorry, 'cupboards bare, end of the month'. He hadn't even thought about it.

And where is his 12 year old getting money/having to get money to buy food? Poor kid.

The last time I saw a situation like this, I and the guy were around 19, and students. This is not healthy! Why are you with him?? Crisps and McDonald's for breakfast, takeaways instead of a romantic dinner?! The latter is fine when you've been together a while and are comfy / settled.

Why is she saying she cooked the pizza herself if it's clearly in an Asda box?

Sorry but what a strange situation. There is no way you should join in their chaos. Don't make the situation into your problem. This isn't yours to fix.

He’s not boyfriend material

He's the unreasonable one in all ways. But I do feel you were unreasonable to push to eat his daughter's pizza - how do you know you could've replaced it in time?