WIBU to go / not go on this work trip?

[Cantdecidewt]

aibu for going / not going on this trip?

dh and I both work full time. 2 primary kids.

they spend some summer in holiday clubs. My job is more flexible than dh so when not in clubs they are with me.

I travel 2-4x a year, long haul mostly, for work.

work are offering a week luxury holiday (long haul - Caribbean / Mexico area) - buts in in the middle of summer holidays! This is just for staff not family.

I’ll have already done 2x long haul trips this year and 1x short haul (working - this is the first relax one they’ve offered!)

reasons to go:
perk of the job
luxury adults only all expenses paid trip
sort of once in a lifetime

reasons not to go:
summer hols
kids would need to go to club 9-5 mon-Fri that week to accommodate dh working (instead of a few half days/occasional full day we can manage)
if the company is all at this trip I can basically take the week off with the kids without annual leave
i already travel a lot for work and I think dh is finding it alot
long way to go for just under a week
difficult week logistically for dh as the holiday club is quite different to school logistics - further, need to make pack lunches etc

would you go? I need to decide and rsvp by tomorrow!!

For all those raging about such a trip being organised in the school holidays- it won't be school holidays everywhere. I once had to check school holiday dates across Europe for a work thing, and there were only about 3 days at the end of July when everyone was off. US schools often go back in August.

I think some of it depends on what your husband does. My father was a farmer, so we never went away in summer - it was harvest, the busiest time. If it's a peak time if year for him, I don't think I'd go.

But also you don't really want to go, and you don't have to. I know the dilemma is about should - networking and promotion visibility. Is it something they do every year? If so, I might choose to go next year instead. If it's likely to be a one-off offer, then I probably would go this year.

Also, cross-threading, fo you get a room to yourself, or would you be expected to share? That would make the decision a whole lot easier, if they expect people to share.

Own rooms

I would say that you have been away a lot already this year, l wouldn't consider going away in August during the school holiday it's a bit selfish, perhaps a man would but l personally couldn't.

I'd absolutely go!!!!

ETA: And I'd encourage DH to as well. He travels a lot internationally for work. They also have 'fun' ones - wouldn't occur to me to suggest he missed them. (And yes, we are parents!)

ETA2: I also travel for work, but as yet, nowhere near as glamorous as the Caribbean...

Not sure I could pack my kids off to holiday club 9-5 for a week while I enjoyed a luxury holiday away with work. Just doesn’t sit right. To be honest I am too much the other way and rarely leave mine at all, I do need to get better at living my own life but the idea of holidays I don’t even really want to go on while they’re stuck in clubs is a no from me.

She's not been on holidays though she's been working

What's the bigdel of a whole week of holiday clubs What on earth do you think the kids of parents who can't keep getting time off do

They have their place obviously but I wouldn’t choose to put mine in them if I didn’t need to. They are costly for a start and it’s hit and miss on whether they’ll be great fun or not very enjoyable - can often depend on the other kids who attend. My ds used to go them when he was younger and one particular week he hated because of some other boys who were disruptive and mean all week.

That's a choice My lot used to ask to go even if I was t working that day rather than sit at home

I don’t know whether this has been asked yet (I’ve read the whole thread and not seen it). Are you using any of your annual leave entitlement for the trip?

If it was me, and I was using annual leave for it, I wouldn’t go. I value my annual leave and like to spend it with my family.

If not, then it’s work and I wouldn’t miss it.

Saying that, my husband would never expect me to miss something that could help my career or that I might enjoy…

If you were the dad, this wouldn’t even be questioned.

That's a good point on the AL . If it's not taken out of AL then yeah be good to go

Cantdecidewt · 31/05/2026 18:50
I could also probably take the week off once back to spend time with them. I have loads of annual leave where I rarely have to take it due to the flex nature of my job.

I think sometimes it’s good to go to these things. You get to know your work colleagues and get some great time to yourself, also good to be seen. A week in club isn’t any hardship for your children, although perhaps your DH could take a couple of days holiday?

This sort of trip never seems to be an issue for men. What’s the difference to when you go away on trips to him (noting his are leisure and yours work). Do you do lots of prep for him to make his life easier? Do you come back to nothing fine eg washing etc. If so why?

I’d go. But my dd (now at uni) was happy at holiday clubs and has a close relationship with her dad. Attending work events often has benefits you don’t see immediately from networking, being seen as committed. If it was dad going no one would think twice.
You are also a role model for your dc. Don’t underestimate how much you influence your kids. I travel alone sometimes and I’ve had various comments from other women about oh I could never do that I’d be too scared. My DD is going far flung abroad for her year abroad, some of her friends are too nervous to go and have cancelled their offers.

Op you're mentioning how many times you travel and how your DH is, that's your job, he knows you travel . You can't count in those other long haul flights as you were working.

This is a fantastic and very kind opportunity your job is offering, not many jobs offer this. You can meet with the rest of the team and just enjoy yourself. I bet you're feeling the way you do because you feel guilty leaving the children, your DH wouldn't.

It's ok to put kids into a club that they actually like, many working parents do this during the holidays, it doesn't matter if it's for a working week or a week's holiday. You are not going to get this opportunity again, it's a once off.

Your DH is their parent too, he can and will manage, if he came home with the same scenario you'd manage while he was away.

You have annual leave and you have the rest of the school holidays to do something with your children. 5/6 days is nothing, you have years and years and years to make it up to them, will this holiday come up again, most likely no. It doesn't matter what the weather is like, there'll be plenty to do, hurricane season will only be starting and it's usually nearing sept. The hurricanes won't be every day. The weather will be warm, you'll be able to swim, you can sleep half the morning and I bet anything the accommodation will be beautiful, you can relax and have a few drinks if you want, nice meals, socialise if and when you want.

I would go OP if you are ambitious and think it might make a difference in the future. Or even if there are cut backs in the future, this stuff all helps.

You’ll likely get a lot of time to chill on your own, just being in a lovely hotel room alone can be so relaxing.

There are people on this thread who wouldn’t contemplate it but if you’re in a senior well paid job these things come with the territory. You’d probably have a very nice time and your DC would be fine.

how old are they by the way? As that would impact my decision.

Hello! Just catching up.

I have decided to go, with DH encouragement, as it’s the right thing to do for my career.

Re: annual leave - nope not annual leave this is in ‘working time’!

The kids like the club they go to, have friends there etc, just usually I would avoid the Monday - Friday 9-5 if I could, as I thinks it good them to have chill time at home too, and I’m lucky I can manage it with my job. I will take a few days off the following week probably to balance it out a bit.

Thanks for all the input!

(also to add I think it’s a little mean calling it selfish to 1. Travel for work stuff - my job enables the children to have a lovely life/holidays etc - and 2. Put them in wraparound / holiday club - some parents have no choice and this is something I’ve felt guilty about for as long as I’ve been a mum, but ultimately hope I am setting a good example for my children by working hard and showing that people do have to work which in turn gives them things they like etc) - sorry if the comment wasn’t meant like that but yeah seems a bit harsh to call it selfish.

good on you , I hope you have a great time

In your shoes I wouldn't go. They are little for such a short time.

Good for you!
Hope you have a great time!!

Oh give over, it's only a week long trip.

Don’t be daft. It’s a week!

It's not even a week, barely 10% of the school summer holiday, it's hardly disappearing for half their childhood.

Good choice OP. You would probably have regretted your decision if you had decided not to go and then you found out everyone had a great time, did some great networking/team building or learned new skills during the trip.