WIBU to go / not go on this work trip?

[Cantdecidewt]

aibu for going / not going on this trip?

dh and I both work full time. 2 primary kids.

they spend some summer in holiday clubs. My job is more flexible than dh so when not in clubs they are with me.

I travel 2-4x a year, long haul mostly, for work.

work are offering a week luxury holiday (long haul - Caribbean / Mexico area) - buts in in the middle of summer holidays! This is just for staff not family.

I’ll have already done 2x long haul trips this year and 1x short haul (working - this is the first relax one they’ve offered!)

reasons to go:
perk of the job
luxury adults only all expenses paid trip
sort of once in a lifetime

reasons not to go:
summer hols
kids would need to go to club 9-5 mon-Fri that week to accommodate dh working (instead of a few half days/occasional full day we can manage)
if the company is all at this trip I can basically take the week off with the kids without annual leave
i already travel a lot for work and I think dh is finding it alot
long way to go for just under a week
difficult week logistically for dh as the holiday club is quite different to school logistics - further, need to make pack lunches etc

would you go? I need to decide and rsvp by tomorrow!!

Don’t count on taking a quiet week if everyone else is on the trip - you’ll be given everything to finish.
do you actually want to go? Spending a week on holiday with co-workers sounds hellish.

I wouldn’t be turning down a week in the Caribbean because my DH would have to make some sandwiches and leave the house a bit earlier!

My experience is that these work socials are where the meaningful, leading to promotion, networking happens so I would go and badge it as work rather than a holiday!

I work in the public sector so this is alien to me so I’m excited for you!

@OuEstLaPlage honestly no I don’t think I do! But feel like I’m missing an opportunity if I don’t?!

@BlackBean2023 this is the other side of things isn’t it. The company is 25% remote team, which I’m one of, so we’re much less visible already

I think you need to ask your DH how he feels about it and use that as your barometer. You said “make lunches” - is your DH really that incapable ?

It's odd that they'd plan the free holiday in the middle of the kid's school holidays, and want to fly everyone long haul for just one week.

Do you think this is because they want a low take up rate?

I would definitely go but offer DH a chance to do his own thing sometime or whatever else he'd want to make it up to him.

@Ibwah hes been quite supportive but seems less so this time round. It’s not just about him making sandwiches, but do the kids want a long week in holiday club?

In the past 12 months I’ve been on 3x week long long haul work trips (our office is in the states), I’m away in the States again for a week in June, and a short haul 2 night Euro trip just after that. And then this Caribbean trip in August would have had me at 3x long haul and 1x short haul work related trips in 8 months, which I think dh is struggling with especially as the August one isn’t compulsory it’s ‘fun’

@SwanRivers I think it’s more than very few have children - we’re a relatively small company and only a handful have kids. They’re also based in the States so it’s only long haul for the remote team

Surely this should call for a family discussion? Surely the Dc's opinion should be considered , not just the adults.

Can you go for 2 weeks, and family meet you in second week?

@Natsku he has been on 2 euro weekends with friends this year so not like he doesn’t get the opportunity- not sure why he’s so put out by the summer trip lol

Is it a sort of thank you for your hard work jolly or will there be networking/work related stuff happening? Have you been before and enjoyed/not enjoyed it? Agree with pp that you'd more likely be needed to keep the home fires burning sort of thing than have a nice relaxing stress free week at home.

Could the kids stay with grandma for a week?

If you want to go you'll make it work somehow, if you don't you've got a decent excuse. If it was with my team id be off like a shot, they're ace people to spend time with.

@AnonymityAnonymity the children never want me to and sometimes I have to so they can’t think I can skip work trips on their say so if you see what I mean

@MassiveOvaryaction thank you for hard work type thing. Unfortunately no family to help.

Why should the children’s opinion matter in this ? Summer club for the week won’t hurt them. The trip is work related which puts food on the table. I think the OP should go and I bet her DH would be gone in a flash if he had the opportunity.

@AuDrusilla I have considered this but don’t think it’s affordable atm unfortunately

@TheJoyousHiker i do agree that I think he would go without a second thought if it were the other way around!

Honestly, he’ll be jealous.

I’d be jealous if this was my DH and probably a bit resentful but I’d get over it and I think he’d be resentful if I didn’t ’let him’ go.

I hate to ask this - because I know a man would never ask it of another man - but is the job worth it in terms of the remuneration/opportunities for all the travel and time it takes you away from a young family?

Oh if he's getting his own holidays already then definitely go! Your other trips are work, not jollies, so this will be evening you out.

Well then go. A week is no time at all.

It sounds like you're not that bothered about going. Personally, the Caribbean isn't my kind of place so I wouldn't want to schlep there to spend a week socialising with work colleagues.

Well because certainly in my world children aren't disregarded as irrelevant. Why bother having children if their emotional needs as well as their physical ones aren't of amy importance?

it is worth it - very well paid and very flexible hours

Your children will be perfectly fine - they'll get over one long week in clubs. Your employer's perception of you on the other hand could take longer to bounce back. Just go and enjoy this very rare opportunity.