To think parents are not teaching any independence?

[MrBlobbysNuts]

A local parent group is in uproar because their precious secondary school children are apparently "too vulnerable" to get the bus before and after school without a phone (phones have been banned from premises entirely)

How is getting a bus for 15 minutes without a phone unsafe? Back in the day we just had ourselves and we survived. Give the kids cash and teach them to stop relying on phones to get around. The world is no more dangerous than it was 40 years ago, if anything it’s much safer!

I mentioned ring doorbells because parents are worrying if they aren’t home on time and they haven’t heard from there. Yes it wasn’t the case in the eighties but times have changed. To go back to children not having a phone on their journey home requires a change in mind frame where they aren’t constantly checking on their kids or worrying so easily.

Not saying it’s not doable but it isn’t necessarily easy for some. And maybe that is hampering independence but it might also be a way of parents allowing some independence - being comfortable with them being home alone etc.

what was acceptable from parents in the eighties in terms of giving children independence is not as acceptable these days. We always see posts on here about how kids can’t be left home alone until a high age etc.

I still don't see gaving phones or checking whether children are home has anything to do with independence. It is almost always about giving parents reassurance. It also means parents can track their children via life360 or whatever.

But WHY isn't it acceptable? Are kids more stupid these days they need co stant tracking and supervision? I don't think so.

But SOME parents ( not including myself in this) don't seem to have any confidence in their kids abilities. And therefore not allowing the kids to do stuff by themselves. This starts a lot younger than age where they would need a phone. The amount of times I've seen kids in shops etc where the parents are not letting them deal with choosing and paying for something themselves, or when they try and do something Mummy jumps in to help. My DD helped oit at a brownie thing where the kids were meant to be frying sausages ( under supervision) Majority of the " supervising" parents too k over and cooked themselves Or ethe extreme case of my neighbour who was out in the snow building a bloody snowman for the kids who were watching from the window so her little darlings ( who were about 7 and 10 at the time) wouldn't get cold FFS

YABU. 40 years ago there were payphones.

What you’re describing has nothing to do with getting the bus without a phone though. We managed it back in the day because no one (or very few people) had mobile phones and the world was much more set-up for not having a mobile - eg. Pay phones everywhere, it being commonplace to ask to use the phone in a cafe, the school office maybe staying open later in case kids had to come back cos they’d missed the bus. Kids still called their parents for help - they just did it on a pay phone or at the school office. It’s just a lot easier to call from your own phone now. And we’re not giving them some kind of special treatment, we’re giving them the same treatment as any adult would get - cos any adult would have their phone on the bus. It’s up to parents to put boundaries in with their kids, eg. “No I’m not picking you up cos you missed the bus, you’ll just have to wait for the next one”. It’s not about them not being able to contact you at all. Do posters saying it’s ridiculous actually have kids around this age? I have a 12-year-old who gets the bus to school plus a fairly long walk. There’s no way I’d want her walking that walk alone (even though I tell her to always walk with friends, she is occasionally alone) without any way to contact me in an emergency. Why would I take the risk? It’s not making her any less independent because she wouldn’t dare ring me to ask for a lift unless it was a true emergency. It does mean she’s safer though, and tbh that’s all I really care about. Even my own dad gave me a mobile to take to school for emergencies in the late 90s as I had to get a train & 2 buses to his work in a pretty dodgy part of town.

I think if we return to the original post:

1. phone or no phone - has no impact on independence.
2. not all bus rides are 15 minutes.
3. giving them cash won’t help in a lot of situations as a lot of places no longer take cash - public buses being one of them in some places.
4. a lot of people have grown up with tech and phones and so are used to feeling safe and being able to call for help, plan a route, use a map if lost, send a text to say they’re going to a friends, call to say they’re staying for a club, pay for a drink in a shop when it’s really hot…..
5. it’s not about being precious - it’s the world now. I frequently have train issues with cancellations/delays etc. first thing I do when I find out o can’t get home easily is use my phone to plan a new route, look at the issue and see if it’s likely to resolve soon, maybe book an uber instead, text/call my partner to say that I’ll be a bit later home (as he’ll worry if I’m late), change any plans I had (I’ve had to move an appointment before). I couldn’t do this without my phone. Yes I can ask at the information desk and figure out things. But phones mean I can be independent and figure it out myself!!

OP how long is your kids bus journey? @MrBlobbysNuts

Well said @jinglejanglescarecat
My plan was to take 4 trains on Saturday. I ended up on 3 in the end due to a long delay.
I needed my phone for my ticket and railcard
I needed my phone to check my return train time
I needed my phone to find out what happened to one of my trains