To think parents are not teaching any independence?

[MrBlobbysNuts]

A local parent group is in uproar because their precious secondary school children are apparently "too vulnerable" to get the bus before and after school without a phone (phones have been banned from premises entirely)

How is getting a bus for 15 minutes without a phone unsafe? Back in the day we just had ourselves and we survived. Give the kids cash and teach them to stop relying on phones to get around. The world is no more dangerous than it was 40 years ago, if anything it’s much safer!

The safety element is vital in secondary school, especially in the tougher areas. I understand that a lot of mnetter’s wouldn’t get that.

I also don't like going out without my phone, am I not independent either?

I don't take mine unless I'm getting on a train and meeting someone at the other end, so I can let them know if I'm delayed. I don't need it just for going out and about locally.

Yes, children managed 20 years ago because they had mobile phones then 🤣.... I'm 34, 20 years ago I was 14 and had a phone at school and I was able to ring an adult or elder sister for help if need be

Gen X parents are so weird.

They must have short memories, because only a few decades ago there were no phones and we seemed to get to school and home again just fine.

I was at school 20 years ago. I never carried a phone.

Why would you need a phone? If you had an emergency, which would be very rare, the schools had a phone that you could use. Seems really weird to think that a phone is so important.

Im in my 40s and we all had phones by Yr11. And used to use them in secret at school as they were supposed to be turned off.

Seems really weird to make an assumation and then try to be rude about it...... I don't recall insinuating or saying it was so important to have a phone back then.

But you never know, maybe I was epileptic or diabetic? Maybe my sister was disabled and I took the bus with her? Who knows? Plenty of reasons to have a phone back then and was completely normal back then

Are you completely disregarding the increase in knife crime in youths, and the increase in VAWG (violence against women and girls)?

Mobile phones have been around since the '90's and smart phones since mid-'00's so entire generations have grown up with them. I think banning phones is rather controlling. People should have them if they want and kids should be taught respectful use at school rather than taking them away.

Most bus passes are phone only these days

I agree with you that children should be able to
get a bus without a phone, and it’s not unsafe.

But I think the school has gone too far in banning them entirely. So the school’s assumption is that everyone goes straight home on the bus after school? No-one goes anywhere that they might need a phone like a part-time job, an after-school activity, to visit a relative, etc? That’s not my experience of most high schoolers.

This is an excellent point

It blows my mind when parents are hyper involved in their kid’s choice university. There was a woman here in tears because her son wouldn’t let him drop him off at university.
When I decided university course in the 80’s my parents were not involved.. although my Dad did say you’ve chosen something too hard. 😂😂
Parents dropped me off at bus stop with all my luggage and waved me good by.
Mind you, no student loans then and the government paid me to go to uni.. not much , but still. Maybe parents over invested because it costs so much !

Forgot to add: practically everything can be done on phones now and we are moving - rapidly - toward a paperless society as well. Look at Sweden which uses less than 1% physical money now. In such a changing world it is bizarre to ban phones and deny what has become essential. Rules for public use make much more sense.

This

And many other reasons

My children’s bus passes are on their phones as guess what, we live in a digital world

one of my DCs likes to use the 30 min bus journey on back rural roads to do their homework, which is done on their phone. Far better than me scribbling my homework on the way to school the day it’s done.

Sometimes they may want to do something after school with friends, with no pay phone and only 1 school bus they need to ask permission as their school is in a different town. We need to coordinate pickups or if they make their way home by train, in which case they need their phone to pay for it as it’s all automated and no option to pay for a ticket with cash.

They also pay for food and drinks on their phones.

They have emergency cash i make them carry as I’m so old but the reality is they need their phones for everyday life just like adults do.

Phones are banned on school grounds at my DCs school, they can be in the bottom of bags but not as allowed in pockets or to be seen. It seems to work perfectly fine. My friends DS goes to a school where all phones are put in faraday pouches at the start of the day and given back at the end of school, again works fine.

it also wasn’t all that great “ back in the day” kids bullied and attacked with no way of calling their parents. There was a pervert who hung around one bus stop grooming young girls getting off my school bus, plenty of other sleeze bags harassing kids at bus stops or walking home. At least now kids have the extra security of feeling they can call someone or take pictures. I once missed my bus, my ticket was only for a certain bus company, I lived 9 miles away in another town and only one way to walk through rural roads, sometimes with no pavements, I’d been walking about an hour it was getting dark when a teacher pulled over, it as a risk getting in but I was lucky. I never told my parents, just like all the other dangerous shit that happened in the good old days.

I don't know about independence, but I think that we have to acknowledge that the world is different now. We can't expect children today to live as if they exist in the same word as children from a few decades ago.

How do you know the bus journey is 15mins for every student?

I do agree that kids need to be taught more independence and not be so dependent on their phones but some kids do travel far to school if they’ve moved etc or they have after school clubs or they stay with their other parent etc and so I can see why parents would complain if they had no phones.

My niece gets the bus from school to the train station on a Friday to stay at her dads for the weekend and then he takes her to school on Monday.
If she wasn’t allowed her phone on school premises it would be a massive pain as she wouldn’t be able to have it all weekend and the public transport is terrible so is often cancelled or really late so misses her connection.

The major thing that concerns me is that stealing phones is a massive issue and if a young person is so dependent on their phone and then it gets stolen or lost etc - how would they cope.

My kids are adult now but we live quite remotely. Bus stop is well over a mile away with no lighting or footpath (or grass verge, often single lane width) and there are 4 buses a day. School was 10 miles away. If they missed the bus after school (happened a lot when lockers were the other end of the building) the only other bus left at 6pm when it was dark in winter. I'd like to know.

I’ve said YABU. My dd has a medical condition. Being able to get hold of me is something she needed to feel reassured enough to be able to get the bus and go to school.

Agree

i think my DCs have the right level of independence. I grew up with both parents working living on dodgy estates, my parents didn’t have a clue where I was or who with let alone a fraction of what I was exposed to as a child.

This half term my 14yo has met up with friends on 3 occasions in 3 different towns doing their own things, granted one parent or another did the pick ups or drop offs but we were just as happy for her to catch the train. We know where she is as she has her phone. At 14 I think she’s got the right amount of trust and independence.

My 12yo has done similar but mainly in our home town and hanging out at the park. She also likes to wander down to the supermarket after tea sometimes on her own to buy herself something. She’s had less opportunity to navigate the train on her own but right now most of her friends are still local primary school ones, as she makes new friends in different areas she will be given more independence.

The world has changed. Phones are integral to our lives and I would never leave the house without mine now. Catching a bus requires a phone. I don’t even have a bank card anymore . If the bus is cancelled I want to be able to find an alternative route, using citimapper. Or call someone in an emergency. It feels safer as a woman to carry a phone. I like to listen to music or read books on public transport on my phone. My daughter used to do revision flashcards on her phone. I’d be really really annoyed about this.

It’s a bit odd to read this thread on MNs where many people don’t open their doors to strangers & wouldn’t dream of leaving their house without a phone.

In many areas the transport tickets are digital. Even if most children catch school transport, there's likely to be at least a few pupils from further away that rely on other transport.

And as others have also stated, not all children will be going straight home, or straight to school from home. It could make it very difficult for those with more than one house, or who travel to none school-based clubs or work on the way home.

Banning phones entirely has always seemed a sledgehammer option to me - block them, make them hand them in, put them in pouches. However, school's can't really control the pupil's journey unless they are transporting each pupil to and from school themselves.

My journey to school was more than 15 minutes by coach nearly 25 years ago when I left - and I had my mobile phone back then if I did need it.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/mums-horror-daughter-12-beaten-27327867.amp

This happened in my childhood hometown. Even if this was a one off incident..... which it isn't depending on what area you live in - would you even want to risk this being your child? It isn't safe for a lot of children these days, it's a fact

She clearly didn't use a phone to call for help, but mobile phones being present meant the crime was recorded, had to be taken seriously by the police as there was evidence ( depending on area police can't do much without evidence )

At least when she got off the bus she would of been able to phone her mum if she had a phone, the area is very hilly and it's not unusual to have to walk 5/10 mins up a long hill or path home, imagine being battered like that and not even being able to contact your parents until you walked through the door 😭