To think parents are not teaching any independence?

[MrBlobbysNuts]

A local parent group is in uproar because their precious secondary school children are apparently "too vulnerable" to get the bus before and after school without a phone (phones have been banned from premises entirely)

How is getting a bus for 15 minutes without a phone unsafe? Back in the day we just had ourselves and we survived. Give the kids cash and teach them to stop relying on phones to get around. The world is no more dangerous than it was 40 years ago, if anything it’s much safer!

DS is autistic and got on the wrong bus from an after school club once. He ended up in a town 14 miles away. If he hadn't had a phone god knows what would have happened as there were no buses at that time coming back.

I'm all for no phones in school time, but I would have wanted him to have a phone for the bus journey home from secondary school. He lives away from home, is doing a degree and working so perfectly independent.

Independence, confidence and resilience come from feeling secure and supported. People really seem to struggle to understand that.

Smartphone free childhood doesn't go far enough it should be smart phone free families.

Editing to say So many parents waste family time away doom scrolling. There is evidence carers speak fewer words to babies since smart phones.

A colleague’s NT 14 (nearly 15) goes to the childminder with 10yr old sister. Mine were getting the bus at 11 and staying home alone for a few hours.

Would the phones be taken away when someone gives birth?

Just wondered about people without children 🤷‍♀️

Well my kids peers were some of the ones in that category - they've all headed off to uni with no issue or gone into workplace or college course with no issue. Many drive or get around on public transport for jobs. They seem perfectly normal adults TBH.

Ones not at uni and one without housing as part of job do tend to still be living at home in very early 20s - IL complain about that but that's a product of high rents and house prices rather than any desire to stay in parental houses from what I see.

There were life skills I didn't pick up till uni - I'd hope we'd better prepared our kids - plus tech means they are in touch with us mates and siblings very quickly and easily to ask questions these days and internte easier to access via phones than when I was there - had to get to a computer in library.

Yep, nepotism has always been with us.

All children are different. They are not flawed for liking their own house better than anyone elses. My youngest was like that so we had every sleepover here. I would be more worried if he had wanted to "stay away" longer.

What does it mean? Sorry! Is it a time? So 19.47?

Do 😄

Other memorable posts were from parents complaining that they weren't allowed to use the student union bar whilst waiting for their kid to finish a lecture.

One who was driving their kid to lectures everyday and wondered where they could wait for them. Was there somewhere on campus where parents could wait for ther children to finish a lecture.

One who posted to say that they were driving to the university every other weekend to clean their kids bedroom in the shared halls flat and did anyone want her to help clean their kids room/do their laundry while she was there (no kidding!)

Oh and one parents who (reasonably) posted because the mother of another student in her daughter's flat hadn't gone home after dropping her off and was sleeping in her daughter's room on the floor! I think she stayed there for a week.

You couldn't make it up 😄

I assumed it was 24 hour clock time- my teens knew about this as their alarm clocks were 24 hour ones but it's not impossible an older teen would need reminding once about it.

I'd assume column on a normal timetable with other times in would indicate it was a time and prod memory but may depend on how information was being presented to said teens. The bus apps we have do tend to present the data very differently to a traditional timetable in columns - more like train apps - next time and route number at that stop in list that clickable through for more information - so could be less clear what it meant.

Route numbers I know tend to be shorter or be mix of letters and numbers.

Yes. 24 hour times are often given without the decimal point.

The fact my child is confident in surrounding that aren’t just her own is not worrying at all, as you say they are all different but a child afraid to be anywhere but home is far more worrying to me than a child willing to be independent and enjoy new surroundings and adventures. Isn’t that the whole point of this thread the fact some people think today’s kids aren’t independent enough because parents haven’t prepared them?

Some schools now have lockable pouches that the kids have to put their phones in, that are locked by a teacher, on the way into school. The pouches can only be unlocked at a specific station, which is only switched on at the end of school.

This seems like a sensible compromise.

Some schools now have lockable pouches that the kids have to put their phones in, that are locked by a teacher, on the way into school. The pouches can only be unlocked at a specific station, which is only switched on at the end of school.
This seems like a sensible compromise.

Except there was a thread about this a while ago where posters were saying the students were taking in second phones, or finding ways to unlock the pouches. One poster was quite unconcerned about the fact that her daughters were among those circumventing the rules.

When I was school age, many of my friends didn't have phones at home, so it didn't matter how many public phone boxes there were.

My incredibly independent student DD simply didn't want to go on school residentials until she was in 6th form.

She wasn't afraid. She just didn't want to go. It doesn't make me a shit parent.

That only works when there is plentiful public transport to get home so that the pupils have time to retrieve their phones at the end of the school day. At DD's school there was only ten minutes to dash to catch the school bus. If they missed it they were stuffed.

Liking your house better is normal if your parents provide you with a happy and loving home, thats how it should be, baseline. Resilience is about stepping out of your cosy, familiar comfort zone and socialising with friends in their home to open your mind to how other families live and managing experiences like going on a school residential that aren't 100% homey, cosy, pampering familiar. If kids never step outside of that they will not become independent and the world is more likely to appear like a scary place as they grow up. My dc did non school residentials and sleepovers since they were 8. The first night away was with brownies at a museum.

How will that work if everywhere you turn you need your phone? I need a phone for the railcard, to enter football stadiums/gigs/theatre, to park the car.
Those things are impossible now without a smartphone.

To be fair, people who are interested in spending time with their children will do so. People who don’t, won’t, and haven’t even when all they had for entertainment was a gramophone.

😂😂

So those without kids get to keep their phones?!

what about tablets and laptops (which you can also doom scroll on). Are you going to confiscate those too??

Maybe you have to hand your kid back?! 🤪

My boy is 30 now.

Bought his own house with his GF when he was 23.

He did move in with her a bit when he was about 17 and she had a flat, but we ended up seeing him more as he missed us 😂. My oldest son was like "Jeezo, I got more peace when he actually lived here!"

My oldest was more ok with sleepovers etc.

He's completely invested now in his fiancee, their cat (though the cat is not invested in him, she hates everyone except her owner (fiancee) and my husband for some reason.

My son was never "afraid", he just loved being with his mum, dad and big brother. I don't get what is wrong with that? He now loves being with his partner more.

Your child is 8 years old. Even my eldest preferred us to anyone else at that age.

Some people would probably take that deal 😄

My kids high school with 1400 students has a hanging sheet with numbered pockets at the front of each classroom. At the start of the lesson the kids put their phones in a pocket each and then collect them at the end of class.

I thought it would be fraught with issues, but there have been none in my kids classes and no "reminders" in the weekly email.

Of course, that still leaves kids with phones at lunch and in break which I know some people are unhappy about. But, again, we've seen no issues.

I agree, but we let him go at his own pace. He was diagnosed as DT1 at 11 years of age and I think he just felt safer with us.

He is now an independent adult with a great life. I'm glad we didn't push him to be what he didn't want to to be.