To think parents are not teaching any independence?

[MrBlobbysNuts]

A local parent group is in uproar because their precious secondary school children are apparently "too vulnerable" to get the bus before and after school without a phone (phones have been banned from premises entirely)

How is getting a bus for 15 minutes without a phone unsafe? Back in the day we just had ourselves and we survived. Give the kids cash and teach them to stop relying on phones to get around. The world is no more dangerous than it was 40 years ago, if anything it’s much safer!

Why do some adults always have such higher expectations of children and adults than they would have of themselves. All those saying "oh yes, they don't need phones" .... would you go off for the day and purposely leave your phone behind? Every day?

As a grown adult I can be trusted to use the internet responsibly. Children aren’t mature enough so rely on their parents/carers to ensure they only see appropriate things.

would you go off for the day and purposely leave your phone behind? Every day?

I do go out and leave my phone behind. I said so before. Why wouldn't I?

I think the phone is just an example. I do think young people these days are less independent but the true issue is resilience.

Phones have made us all lazier and more anxious. We don’t solve problems in the same way, we ask Google for everything. And we are seeing the effects of lack of independence when we look at the generational differences in work ethic for example.

We wrap our children in cotton wool, more than I remember. We give them our anxiety by enforcing that they cannot be without a phone. And we become anxious because we are tracking th.

I do have a teen, but the reason for her having a phone is so we can communicate - however that may be. So she keeps in touch with family too and has own friendships. I would love to see dumb phones rolled out but I would also love to see more parents showing their children how to use phones responsibly.

Similar in DD's school except its a tray on the teacher's desk (and some teachers allow them to keep their phones, for instance in art they can listen to music with headphones while doing their work which is nice)
Not so keen on them having their phones during breaks but if has been useful as DD has occasionally messaged me during the school day to say she's feeling ill and ask if she can go home.

I do this fairly regularly and intentionally. I like to be switched off from everything. I tell people roughly where I’m going (usually a long walk) but other than that I’m incommunicado for a few hours. It’s absolutely fine and actually a good thing to do in my view.
if I get lost I ask someone. Like the olden days.

This may shock you... but there are jobs where adults have their phones out of reach all day.

There’s a new thread today asking for a list of what her 20-YEAR-OLD son should pack for a holiday to Spain.

I think it is quite a privilege to be able to be uncontactable these days. I have a DH and a student DD who both have health issues so I need to be contactable at all times.

It has nothing to do with being needy in my case.

There is a certain type of self-styled ‘boy mum’ who seems to baby their sons, running round after them and not expecting them to lift a finger. Nothing is their fault apparently. It’s weird. And the results of that are often the useless partners we read about on here all the time.

Potentially learning to cope and fend for themselves though?
My child knows to go to a shop, certain places of need be.
My childmwas pushed off a bike leaving school by one of the maladjusted kids..never a problem catching a bus home at all..even given a free ride when the bus card run out of credit.

Just going by my son's cohort out of all his friends only one parent did it for them. With student finance parents have to full in part of the form themselves by law so yes I did help him with that because you have no choice

Yes parents do nowdays.
The days of jumping on my bike and then seeing each other at the table for dinner was the best.
I encourage mine to be able to think & be independant.
Over the vast parenting ideals and thinking this has to be the most overbearing imo.

Imagine no phone...gosh we would have to communicate with each other or seek help.
A phone never saved a teen being murdered where I live!.

Ten pages in and it still seems to be about phones but they need to know how to use them for info as well as SM - our local bus company has changed its app (from a really good one to a pretty useless one) and my 19-yr old GC rang me because they 'couldn't see if their bus was on its way' on the new one. I explained you had to save the bus number as a favourite first. The bus arrived and they got on. I checked later - no, hadn't had time to add the bus number and still hasn't! Love them to bits but ffs.

They would at least not worry about them, could arrange an uber if necessary

I'm not sure my parents " worried" as they wouldnt know if shock horror i would miss a bus. Simply would've expected to sort it out ourselves likely by walking.

That was the norm.

If it's the income part then yes of course you need to fill that in yourself. Maybe your son's friends but go on any teens/ uni starters forum and the parents are saying about doing such stuff

As someone who caught a public service bus to/from school in the 1970's from the age of 9 i agree that children should have the skills to manage without phones to an extent. Back in the day, if the bus didn't turn up, we knew where an alternative service went from and walked there (with a longer walk at the other end). We didn't even have a landline at home until i was 13 so couldn't contact home anyway.
But my DS (now late 20's) did have a phone when he caught the bus to school and needed to use it on a number of occasions when there were issues with the bus and I had to go and rescue him. But we live in a rural area so alternative transport was not as freely available as it was in my childhood. That said, even when he was at Secondary school, phones were allowed but had to remain in bags at all times during the school day. Anyone caught with a phone out got a detention. If children needed to ring home in the school day they had to go to reception and use the landline. Seemed to work fine then so not sure why it can't work that way now. I've seen on tv that a number of schools do use magnetically locked pouches so that children have their phones on the way to/from school.
As others have said, bus passes etc are often on phones. BUT technology can fail so teaching children what to do in that event should be part of their independence training.

Yes I agree but those are the only two options

When ours were in year 7 and had basic smart phones with very little roaming data we had full parental control on what apps they had, how long they could spend online, how long they could spend each app, verification for adding contacts and at home the use was in public areas.

As they got older we agreed with them what they wanted what we would allow we explained our reasons for restrictions and explained the dangers.

They are now much better at spotting AI than us!

The internet is a very powerful tool used correctly. Why would you not want your child to have access to it?

Of course if parents go on a uni starters forum they are the kind of people who will do this stuff. You are not taking into account all the parents who don't go on and who don't do the uni applications. I don't know any parents who go on these forums.

I read about them on the teens forum here ( where people were also asking) and went to take a look.

I totally agree that mobile phones aren’t needed while in school, switch them off, keep them in your bag but school cannot dictate that children can’t have a phone on them before and after school.

this answer is in regards to high school children, no primary school child needs a phone.

im in my late 40s and don’t leave home without my phone.

If the kids followed these rules there wouldn't be an issue would there? But the trying it on and pisstaking trying to bend the rules just leads to more draconian ones

Our local secondary school have banned phones completely for year 7s from September and from year 8 to 11 can only have basic phones that they can only call and text on. Best thing they could have done- my daughter was bullied there several years ago, most of it done by social media- she'd block one account and another would pop up. How my generation ever survived is amazing......

I'm hoping that DS's school bans phones from the entire school site too. The chavvy, "school won't tell me what to do" parents will hopefully choose another school, thus driving up standards at DS's.