To think this is a shit mortgage situation at age 40?

[Greenredbluena]

I really don’t know if this is life for most people or I’m surrounded by people who are mortgage free or owe very little.

I am on my own with a 7 year old so there’s no fall back here. I turn 40 next week and my re mortgage is due the month after. I’ve started looking at options today and it’s bleak even thinking that im in this situation.

House has been valued at 520k at a push, probably more like 500k. I owe 190. I’ve been trying for the last two years to get this down by overpaying around 400 extra a month and I feel like I’m just being ran into the ground trying to pay it off when realistically it’s still a shit situation. I’ve shared these concerns with my parents and they were adamant that id have enough inheritance to pay it off and more but of course I can’t rely on that and i certainly don’t want that that to happen so I hope it’s a long long way off when it does.

I just suddenly feel so alone and very much like it’s me and DD against the world. I feel ashamed I am in this situation when everyone around me is counting down to mortgage free and will be around their 40th. Just having a low moment and probably not helping that I have a ‘big’ birthday coming up

you seem to be putting a huge and unnecessary pressure on yourself and have a lot of negative feelings about being alone and need to do better to compensate for that. I think it would be helpful for you to try and get past some of this and reframe your priorities.
you are doing an amazing job by the sounds of it and need to just refocus.

I envy your position. I have yet to get on the housing ladder and probably won’t be able to before 50. I will be a pensioner with a mortgage.
Just focus on the positive. You have a property and you are not even 40. By 50 the mortgage will be gone and you will be free.

I’m 47 and am half responsible for a £470k mortgage - I say half, but as the much higher earner it is all on me to make sure we can keep paying it.

I know a single parent aged 50 with a mortgage of over £300k. I know a couple about to get their first mortgage aged 53!

It must be tough to be alone, but you’d be better using the £400 to invest or just improve your life - there is no need to pay your mortgage off quickly if it is impacting your happiness/quality of life.

My husband is 44 and we just took on a 190k mortgage last year! He’ll be paying it until retirement! Everyone’s circumstances is different, try not to compare.

I do get it partly OP. The stress of having the financial burden alone is tough. I have been doing it my whole life and it is exhausting.

But despite that you are still in an exceptionally good position. You have been able to overpay alone, you clearly have a good income and in a mere few years you will have a fully paid off property. Many single people struggle to get onto and remain on the property ladder. Stop stressing.

I would say ensure your savings and investment portfolio are robust just in case you lose your job. Single people miss out on the natural support of having a partner if we are made a redundant.

Why is it not fair on DD? If it’s just the two of you a 2-3 bed is fine.

You’re in a great position as your mortgage is so small.

I think most people would love to have a decent house with such a small mortgage by 40.

I'm 41 and my mortgage is £630k, OP ...

I might be being stupid, but how would a 2 or 3 bed (if you downsized) negatively impact your DD if it's just the two of you? To me, that seems like the obvious answer - you've not got the threat of the financial pressure on you, so you're a happier, less stressed mum, you still have plenty of room, and you've got hundreds a month spare to put in a uni fund/go on holidays etc?

I find it very odd that you think it's necessary for your DD to have a four bed house - I can't imagine she even cares. Why would she want two extra bedrooms??

It would be far better for her to have a less stressed mother who wasn't running herself ragged trying to pay off a mortgage for an unnecessarily large house.

Surely only people who have been gifted/inherited houses or massive lump sums would be mortgage free at 40. It's not the norm, as most working people usually up size once or twice and gain a bigger mortgage along the way. Your situation is fine, you have a lot of equity, so you could downside and buy outright and your problem would be solved.

Quite. We would be mortgage free if we had stayed in the £125k 2 bed we bought in 2008 age 23, but we moved.

We have 8 years and 120k left on our mortgage and I’m late 40s, husband is early 50s.

We’re comfortable as are most of our friends but most people I know don’t have mortgages paid off by 40!

Why wouldn’t it be fair on your DD? How many bedrooms does she need? I think you’re being over dramatic and actually fully aware of how privileged you are. You’re doing great - does that give you the validation you need?

Op the cost of your house is HUGE!! 500k? How can you feel like a failure? And most of us will be 60 plus finishing our mortgage, you’re just panicking and running in cercus’s of people who live on another planet to most!!

The only person putting the pressure on you is you though? Noone else is saying you should do x or y. You are very fortunate to be overpaying by £400 a month. I have a 200k mortgage, on a house worth 250k. It has 20 years left to run, I'm 40 in 6 months and i'll let it run to its bitter end, my kids are 10 and 8 and I'd much rather spend any spare I have on holidays and experiences with them that they'll remember than hammer it all into the house.

Oh get a grip 😂

You're choosing to have a big mortgage and a big house so your 7 year old can have a couple of spare bedrooms!

Are your diamond shoes too tight too?

I knew I read this before. You posted this exact thread in 2024 OP and you said you knew you could downsize then so don't misrepresent. You could have moved 2 years ago and been free of the stress. My sympathy is zero.

I think owning a house worth £500k on your own is incredible - well done you! Don't sell the house, there's absolutely no need right now, what on earth would be the point? You can always do that in future if you need to - having that much equity gives you options that lots of people don't have. And as others have said, you might be better investing the overpayment money instead, or putting it in your pension.

But it sounds like it's not really the mortgage itself, it's the pressure and responsibility of being on your own. I think that's what you need to deal with. Maybe spending some of that money on therapy so you can work on how you deal with this going forward would be a good investment in yourself?

I find this really interesting because our numbers are similar... roughly £200k owed on a house worth about £530k. I'm 38 and feel SO fortunate to be in this position. With the equity we could sell up and be mortgage free somewhere else if the shit hit the fan which is a level of freedom that a lot of people don't have.

Which goes to show it's about mindset. I'm not sure why you'd choose to be stressed and unhappy in a large house than more comfortable and secure in a smaller house with your DD.

You have a 4 bed for 2 people with 300k equity.
Enjoy life

If it makes you feel better I owe 239k and I’m 48
I don’t have quite as much equity as you either 😂

As others have said you are worrying about the wrong thing. Can you afford your repayments do you have a decent amount of equity. Thats it. It’s all about choices.
im 50 hubby 52 £250k mortgage 17 years left. But we can afford the payments and we have £500k equity.
We won’t be here in our 60s paying the mortgage we will downsize and use the equity.
Friend has paid off her mortgage but lives in a very small house in a busy area. House is worth less than £400k so who is better off?
it’s all about choices and I’m happy with ours

@Greenredbluena I bought my first flat at 25 and thought my financial future was very secure. Life later took unexpected turns and at 38, as a lone parent of a small child, I had to take on a mortgage of £500k on a house that was far from the house of my dreams. You are not alone.

It’s not fair on your DD to live in a 3 bed?! WTF? You’re throwing money away keeping a house that’s double the size you need for two of you.

I recently downsized from a £600k 4 bed with a £225k mortgage to a small 3 bed (2.5 bed really!) for myself and my two adult DCs, which cost me £300k.

It’s been tricky adjusting to a smaller space for all of us, but now instead of £900 a month mortgage, I’m mortgage free at 50 and had money spare for renovations.

Yes stamp duty is a bastard and it has cost more than I’d expected to do the work on the house, but I’m now working part time and have a lovely lifestyle with no stress about owing anyone anything.

Have a look at the options in your area for a smaller house and simplify your life.