To think this is a shit mortgage situation at age 40?

[Greenredbluena]

I really don’t know if this is life for most people or I’m surrounded by people who are mortgage free or owe very little.

I am on my own with a 7 year old so there’s no fall back here. I turn 40 next week and my re mortgage is due the month after. I’ve started looking at options today and it’s bleak even thinking that im in this situation.

House has been valued at 520k at a push, probably more like 500k. I owe 190. I’ve been trying for the last two years to get this down by overpaying around 400 extra a month and I feel like I’m just being ran into the ground trying to pay it off when realistically it’s still a shit situation. I’ve shared these concerns with my parents and they were adamant that id have enough inheritance to pay it off and more but of course I can’t rely on that and i certainly don’t want that that to happen so I hope it’s a long long way off when it does.

I just suddenly feel so alone and very much like it’s me and DD against the world. I feel ashamed I am in this situation when everyone around me is counting down to mortgage free and will be around their 40th. Just having a low moment and probably not helping that I have a ‘big’ birthday coming up

You have 60% equity at 40.

I think its decent. My dh and I are doing well for ourcselves and have 50% equity.

I don’t know a single person who is anywhere near mortgage free at 40

I have a mortgage together with my husband but it’s more than double yours so I don’t think you’re in a bad position. You are getting worn down to try and overpay something that you don’t have to so maybe just relax a bit and allow yourself to enjoy life a bit more.

Perhaps it isnt the best though, given it will restrict how much you have to work, restrict how much you can have in other investments, restrict how much you can put in a pension and dictacte your retirement age, restrict how much disposible income you have?

We're 50 and 48. We bought our house 12 years ago for £183 000.
We're now owing £125 000 on it as we had to remortgage to work on a well needed extension.
Our house is now worth £380 000.

We'll be done in our 70s at this rate!

I agree. Some people’s idea of what a basic standard of living should look like sounds more like luxury to me.

I'll be paying off my £280k remaining mortgage in 15 years (age 60). First time buyer age 35. I don't know anyone who has paid off their mortgage by 40. Noone of my parents generation paid it off early either, only when they took their pension. I cannot afford to overpay so just riding it out. Every month is one more paid off!

Consider yourself lucky with options and a lot of equity OP.

I’m 44 and we have 23 years left on the mortgage as it stands. So that’s fun! Paying it off in your 40s is not the norm.

ETA. Urgently have 66% equity so happy enough.

Definitely not mortgage free at 40 Heck most of my friends mortgages are a lot bigger then yours!

Personally I would do some sums with downsizing though you could save up the stamp duty if not overpaying £400 a month within a reasonable time frame.

410k divided by 2 is £205k per person sooooooo....

Hi OP. Like others upthread have said, it is really unusual to have paid off your mortgage by 40. I am a completely solo parent and had to start another mortgage at 41. My property is nowhere near as valuable as yours and I have a mortgage not dissimilar to you. I think if you are overpaying you are doing brilliantly. I am still a couple of years away from being able to do this. Congratulations on your house and being in such a strong financial position.

I wouldn’t overpay the mortgage. You will likely make the same or more interest by investing and will then have a larger buffer if anything goes wrong (which is really important for a single parent and I’d say far more important than how much mortgage debt you have). I make c. 10% on a stocks and shares ISA at the moment.

I owe £340k on a £650k house as a single parent. The size of the mortgage doesn’t bother me. If it becomes a struggle to pay at some point I am really fortunate to have enough equity to buy a house which would be suitable for the children if not particularly luxurious outright. I’d assume you are also in this position.

I also don’t see the house as being for life. I doubt I’ll want to live in a 4 bed detached when I’m 60. Or maybe I’ll have a partner. Or need to relocate etc. I just see it that I want a nice family home now and am basically renting from the bank.

And also finances are going to be harder as a single parent and you can’t expect to be in the same position as a couple. I feel that I’m doing very well considering we split assets in half on divorce and my career and therefore earning and borrowing power is limited by the time I have available.

well the option is downsize and clear mortgage.

You have over 300k of equity. You could be mortgage free if you wanted to be at any point by downsizing. How is that bleak? You are in a great position.

I don't know anyone that has or will pay off their mortgage by 40, the only person I know had a house bought for them by their wealthy parents. My parents are in their early 60s and most of their friends paid off around the 60 mark.

@Circe7 thanks this is a really helpful way to
think about it. I do think a lot of this is tied up in feeling really aware of the fact I’m alone. I really struggle with it. Not really practically or financially but emotionally. It’s really hard.

@Deadleaves77 i don’t know where I would live for that. I have looked, I did today after the suggestions on this thread. Much smaller properties and no real garden or privacy. I feel like I would be letting dd down by not trying to carry on as we are. She would obviously have this with ease if I wasn’t single.

Surely it’s just about doing the best for your child with what you have?

Best for her is a happy mum who's not feeling stressed. Down size if you will feel happier without the burden of a large debt. You'll have more disposable income and can do more nice stuff together. Quality time and positive experiences matter more than spare bedrooms and material stuff.

OP I am 47 with a mortgage debt of just over 300k (tiny 2 bed house). Also a single parent. Sometimes I wake up in the night sweating about the mortgage, but mostly I am proud of myself for getting in the property ladder with no help and keeping me and DD there. Don’t do yourself down - life as a single parent is bloody hard and money is (sometimes) the worst bit

That’s one of those MN posts that I feel slightly shocked at reading. You and your daughter don’t need a three or four bed house so why are you choosing to put yourself under this unnecessary strain?

Like someone else said, you can’t live in a big house for free.

Think you're feeling sorry for yourself for no reason, OP

Our mortgage runs until we're 70 and we're your age.

Should I feel like shit about myself?

Thoughts n prayers hun 🙄

Why does DD need 3 bedrooms

Ok, take a breath and stop comparing. You're in a really good position. If the mortgage payments are achievable and no more than much of a 1/3 of costs then that's good. I'm in my 50's I know very few couples, let alone singles who are mortgage free. I'm very much more indeted than you. It's a necessary housing expense. If affordable then the rate you pay it off is a swings and roundabouts trade off. So stop fretting, it's a perfectly normal amount at your age, very manageable and your social circle are very much not the norm to be mortgage free by 40. We will be free of ours at 65 if it is any consolation.

@JustaDream there’s two of you. With respect you cant imagine what it’s like alone.

Not on my own but moved at 40 and 44 and took on a huge mortgage. Over 3x yours. We worked hard, were lucky with interest rates, and 16 years later and pushing 60 we are almost mortgage free. No parental contributions!!