To think this is a shit mortgage situation at age 40?

[Greenredbluena]

I really don’t know if this is life for most people or I’m surrounded by people who are mortgage free or owe very little.

I am on my own with a 7 year old so there’s no fall back here. I turn 40 next week and my re mortgage is due the month after. I’ve started looking at options today and it’s bleak even thinking that im in this situation.

House has been valued at 520k at a push, probably more like 500k. I owe 190. I’ve been trying for the last two years to get this down by overpaying around 400 extra a month and I feel like I’m just being ran into the ground trying to pay it off when realistically it’s still a shit situation. I’ve shared these concerns with my parents and they were adamant that id have enough inheritance to pay it off and more but of course I can’t rely on that and i certainly don’t want that that to happen so I hope it’s a long long way off when it does.

I just suddenly feel so alone and very much like it’s me and DD against the world. I feel ashamed I am in this situation when everyone around me is counting down to mortgage free and will be around their 40th. Just having a low moment and probably not helping that I have a ‘big’ birthday coming up

If 'shit' now means 'very good', then yes, I agree with the thread title.

Housing in the UK is very broken

Yup.

I dread to think what my DS(14) is going to have to do to ever own even a shoe box.
Our kids are fucked, aren’t they?

I'm 46 and just bought last year following divorce, I've only got £105k to pay but daunting to think I could be paying it until I'm 70, although this is unlikely. I'm trying to build my savings back up before I start overpaying.

At least you have plenty of equity, try and think of the pros

I'll be lucky if I pay my mortage off by 68. And nowhere near £500k value at the end of it, and no inheritance either. I'm grateful to have a house. You have nothing to worry about, enjoy yourself.

I can't work out if this is a stealth boast?

Maybe reduce the amount you overpay each month to give yourself breathing room?

I overpay a manageable amount each month (but not a punishing amount) but then also pay in 20% of any windfalls (overtime /consulting work/back pay after pay rises etc) into the account as well. This feels like it sets the right balance between overpaying and actually living

Just downsize when you are older. Or downsize sooner.

I understand
I honestly think now that inheritance is better off being given whilst kids are in 30s 40s as it is more useful with the housing prices and mortgage interest rates etc general cost of existing right now
It's depressing
Most of my friends who divorced and are single or have boyfriends have had to get mortgages on their own late 40s or 50s
Just how it is sometimes sadly just a shit situation right now with income stagnation

<Keeps rummaging for tiny violin>

I think you need to take a step back and have some objectivity here. I get the burden of the loan being in your shoulders but that’s a lot of equity you’ve built up, which means you have more choices than mortgage payers who don’t have that equity. Personally I would take the hit on stamp duty and fees to downsize because I also would find the mortgage loan you have extremely stressful, regardless of how nice the home is. It really takes its toll, all bills on you with support from anyone else.

I'm in my 50s, single and about to take on a 400k mortgage following my divorce. It's best not to think about it too much.

You have a lot of equity there. You have plenty of options if you want to reduce your mortgage - downsize, move to a cheaper area.

I've just bought in my 50s, and my mortgage term extends to my mid 70s (although I am hoping to reduce the term by 10 years).

You can choose to be down about it. Absolutely your prerogative. But if you don't like the situation, you can choose to change it, or to accept it. Imo those two are better than the one you seem to have landed on.

I was a single parent and I didn’t even have a mortgage until I was 37. It’s vanishingly rare to be mortgage free by 40. You’re doing fine, it’s folly to compare yourself to dual income families.

I am just starting a mortgage at 49. Seriously stop worrying about it.

I don't understand.

I got my first mortgage at 41. You have a huge amount cleared down by the age of 40. You could downsize (stamp duty costs aside). You may get some inheritance eventually. You may get some inheritance eventually. You don't seem to have any employment worries.

Honestly it’s all about perspective.

you have a home that at 500k is probably quite a lovely one.

you own a massive portion of it.

the first thing I thought was I wish I could afford a large home.

on our side we are quite likely to pay our mortgage off before 40 (45 max) , however our house is worth about 150k and is a small two bedroom terrace. We do live in a nice ish area though.

could always sell and move to somewhere cheaper and have no mortgage? I would in a heartbeat if we weren’t already at the cheaper end 😊🤷‍♂️

I got a £280k house, £200k mortgage at 42. Single with child. 28 term takes me to age 70, but I plan to downsize once no DC in the house. Some families around me have paid off mortgages, but they are generally the ones who have been together forever, got jobs straight out of school. They now get to go on big holidays etc.

You are the norm not the exception.
200k now will less than half that in today’s values in 20 years time even if you paid nothing off. . So inflation is your friend.
You can downsize in that time too and become mortgage free.
I think you’re in a good space and don’t stint on enjoying life by scrimping to pay off early.

Why does it feel shit? Who are you comparing yourself to? Friends? Siblings? Some imagined ideal? This is not a rhetorical question.

At 40 we moved and got a £330k mortgage so £165k per person. I can understand that it's stressful being solely responsible for the mortgage. Oweing £190k on a house of that value is a great position to be in. Ignore the smug people around you and focus on the fact that you are in a much better position than most. And you can downsize if you need to. On overpaying, only do this if the mortgage interest rate is higher than you can get in savings. Otherwise it's better in a savings pot ready to use to pay off later when it makes financial sense.

I'm 49 and will be mortgage free in 18 months and feel that I'm very fortunate to be in that situation and young to have a paid-off house. None of my friends or family are in my situation so I feel very lucky and grateful.
As a PP said, don't see it as a debt - see it as a bill to pay that will benefit you in the end. I've never classed my mortgage as a debt - more like a hire-purchase if that makes sense.
If it's causing you so much worry and stress (which I sympathise with so please don't think I'm trying to belittle you or rubbish your feelings) I know you said you're concerned about stamp duty, but realistically COULD you downsize? Would it make you happier in the long term?
I'd definitely arrange to speak with a financial advisor to work out a solution.

My dad was at least 70 before he paid his mortgage off. On paper they were due to keep paying the mortgage until he was 81.

Don't feel ashamed, you are raising a child by yourself. I wouldn't bother overpaying at all, I would enjoy life with that money. Or perhaps save maybe a quarter of it into long term savings. Comparison is the thief of joy and all that, my peers are a real mix of mortgage free all the way through to will be renting in their 70s. Just concentrate on yourself and your DC.

I hadn’t really considered that I could just downsize and have nothing to pay. 300k wouldn’t get very far though you’d be looking at a two or three bed which not sure is fair on dd given I can technically pay for larger. I just don’t know, it’s horrible making these sorts of decisions alone

You are on a very good position. Id actually live more now and reduce the overpayments..

Are you in London or is there another reason you’re in a half million pound house?

If there’s only 2 of you a 2 or 3 bed house is perfectly fine. We’ve raised 2 kids in a 3 bed semi. Most people don’t have mortgages paid off at 40. The obvious answer is to sell and buy somewhere cheaper. Your kid doesn’t need to rattle around in a big house.