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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is a shit mortgage situation at age 40?

176 replies

Greenredbluena · 29/05/2026 19:19

I really don’t know if this is life for most people or I’m surrounded by people who are mortgage free or owe very little.

I am on my own with a 7 year old so there’s no fall back here. I turn 40 next week and my re mortgage is due the month after. I’ve started looking at options today and it’s bleak even thinking that im in this situation.

House has been valued at 520k at a push, probably more like 500k. I owe 190. I’ve been trying for the last two years to get this down by overpaying around 400 extra a month and I feel like I’m just being ran into the ground trying to pay it off when realistically it’s still a shit situation. I’ve shared these concerns with my parents and they were adamant that id have enough inheritance to pay it off and more but of course I can’t rely on that and i certainly don’t want that that to happen so I hope it’s a long long way off when it does.

I just suddenly feel so alone and very much like it’s me and DD against the world. I feel ashamed I am in this situation when everyone around me is counting down to mortgage free and will be around their 40th. Just having a low moment and probably not helping that I have a ‘big’ birthday coming up

OP posts:
Soreenmaltloaf23 · 29/05/2026 19:23

I'm well over 50 and still have some mortgage. Noone I know paid theirs off by 40. You clearly have rich friends 🤣

AmIReallyTheGrownup · 29/05/2026 19:23

Paying off your mortgage by 40 is definitely not the norm. The average first home buyer age js 34 and very few people are paying their homes down in 6 years!

Loveandstuff · 29/05/2026 19:23

If it makes you feel any better, I’m 36 and DH is 43…house is worth 510k and we owe £410k…moved in 18months ago. We’ve never built massive equity, plan to stay here for the next 20yrs though. The mortgage is a noose round my neck to be perfectly honest, I don’t think you’re in a bad spot compared to us!!

Greenredbluena · 29/05/2026 19:23

@AmIReallyTheGrownup @Soreenmaltloaf23

yes sorry I know people have mortgages but the best part of 200k on your own at 40?! It feels shit

OP posts:
Greenredbluena · 29/05/2026 19:24

Loveandstuff · 29/05/2026 19:23

If it makes you feel any better, I’m 36 and DH is 43…house is worth 510k and we owe £410k…moved in 18months ago. We’ve never built massive equity, plan to stay here for the next 20yrs though. The mortgage is a noose round my neck to be perfectly honest, I don’t think you’re in a bad spot compared to us!!

@Loveandstuff there are two of you though to pay it xx

OP posts:
SunSparkle · 29/05/2026 19:24

I don’t know anyone mortgage free at 40! Or even close! Most people I know didn’t get on the property ladder until their 30s and many are borrowing more against their mortgage to improve their homes as they can’t afford to move into bigger ones to fit their family.

the only people who are paying them down are those that have lost a patent or parents but honestly not that many. I think you’re being really harsh on yourself.

im going to be 40 next year and I owe £270k and will be paying it off for another 25 years unless I overpay at some point.

Rituelec · 29/05/2026 19:24

We defo wont be paid off till we are 60.

MidnightPatrol · 29/05/2026 19:25

You post this on every month or so.

It’s fine, you’re fine.

Laughable to suggest modi are mortgage free by 40.

Greenredbluena · 29/05/2026 19:25

It’s the amount I owe rather than the fact I am not mortgage free.

OP posts:
AmIReallyTheGrownup · 29/05/2026 19:25

Greenredbluena · 29/05/2026 19:23

@AmIReallyTheGrownup @Soreenmaltloaf23

yes sorry I know people have mortgages but the best part of 200k on your own at 40?! It feels shit

You have a 36% LTV which is pretty good going. £190k is quite a low mortgage ultimately.

likelysuspect · 29/05/2026 19:26

I hate to use the P word as I dont use it normally, but you are incredibly privileged to have over 300k equity and be able to overpay

I wouldnt bother trying to overpay, use the money to live now and just pay off your mortgage as usual.

Barely anyone normal is paying off a mortgage by 40.

Greenredbluena · 29/05/2026 19:26

SunSparkle · 29/05/2026 19:24

I don’t know anyone mortgage free at 40! Or even close! Most people I know didn’t get on the property ladder until their 30s and many are borrowing more against their mortgage to improve their homes as they can’t afford to move into bigger ones to fit their family.

the only people who are paying them down are those that have lost a patent or parents but honestly not that many. I think you’re being really harsh on yourself.

im going to be 40 next year and I owe £270k and will be paying it off for another 25 years unless I overpay at some point.

@SunSparkle thanks. Are you on your own paying it? Does it worry you? I feel like it’s always going to be there as a huge stress

OP posts:
IlfordGap · 29/05/2026 19:26

We, in our sixties, are renting because of things that have happened to us in life.

Just searching for my tiny violin for you.

Loveandstuff · 29/05/2026 19:27

Greenredbluena · 29/05/2026 19:24

@Loveandstuff there are two of you though to pay it xx

I get this but it’s 2.1K and we earn average salaries, we live frugally. It’s tough but maybe follow Dave Ramsey and the Instagram frugal community and aim to pay it off ASAP!

Hadenough32 · 29/05/2026 19:27

Why don't you downsize?

Beyondjourneysend · 29/05/2026 19:28

I understand the ground down feeling but in your situation I'd pay less not more into mortgage. And in fact did/do. I tend to think of money as a utility what do you need to fund your life now? - yes you need some put aside for emergencies and a plan for retirement but beyond that what are savings for? Why is it more useful to you to have less disposable income to enjoy your life now so you can be mortgage free quicker and have more disposable income at some future point? Try and stop doing things which make you miserable whether that's comparing your life to others, setting yourself arbitrary goals or martyring yourself (and your child) in the present to accord to someone else's view of financially responsible. Especially if it's someone on the internet who doesn't know you.

Greenredbluena · 29/05/2026 19:28

Hadenough32 · 29/05/2026 19:27

Why don't you downsize?

@Hadenough32 yes I have been looking at this it’s the stamp duty that puts me off

OP posts:
persisted · 29/05/2026 19:29

I only managed to get one in the first place when I was 40. Its fine.

noworklifebalance · 29/05/2026 19:29

Greenredbluena · 29/05/2026 19:23

@AmIReallyTheGrownup @Soreenmaltloaf23

yes sorry I know people have mortgages but the best part of 200k on your own at 40?! It feels shit

You need proper financial advice.
BUT, generally speaking - £200k mortgage at 40 is not that much.

You will have equity in the property so once you get to 60+ the mortgage will either be paid off or you can downsize to pay it off.

What is the interest on offer? Would you be better off switching to interest only and investing the capital at a much higher rate?

Do you have critical illness/income protection/life insurance cover?

Do you have a Will to protect your asset for your DC?

WhatsitWiggle · 29/05/2026 19:29

I divorced and took out a new 18 year mortgage aged 50. Wouldn't swop that for more years with the deadbeat ex though.

Sidge · 29/05/2026 19:30

If overpaying is a struggle don’t bother.

IME it’s not the norm to be mortgage free by 40.

DP and I bought together last year and we’re in our mid 50s! Took out a mortgage and we’ve only got 12 years to pay it off….now that’s stressful. The payments are eye watering but worth it to have our own place and no longer renting.

PatNoodle · 29/05/2026 19:33

IlfordGap · 29/05/2026 19:26

We, in our sixties, are renting because of things that have happened to us in life.

Just searching for my tiny violin for you.

It’s not a race to the bottom. OP is allowed to be stressed about being solely responsible for a mortgage. Maybe you should be grateful you’re renting somewhere when there are loads of homeless people? That’s how ridiculous you sound

IlfordGap · 29/05/2026 19:36

PatNoodle · 29/05/2026 19:33

It’s not a race to the bottom. OP is allowed to be stressed about being solely responsible for a mortgage. Maybe you should be grateful you’re renting somewhere when there are loads of homeless people? That’s how ridiculous you sound

OP is literally overpaying her mortgage, in her thirties, while expecting a future inheritance, and moaning about it.

AllyMacbealmyarse · 29/05/2026 19:37

I’m 5 years older than you and owe circa £80k more than that, also by myself. Very, very few people will pay their mortgage off my 40, most need the whole term. Stop torturing yourself, just keep going and don’t think of it like debt, if you didn’t have the mortgage you’d be paying rent (probably more than the mortgage payment) so you are not worse off and will have an increase in level of equity in an asset that probably increases in value. You need to put it in perspective or you’ll drive yourself mad.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 29/05/2026 19:37

We were only just getting a mortgage at forty!! We’re about to be mortgage free at 50 and I think that’s young. You are doing brilliantly!

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