To have done a job interview at 20 weeks pregnant and not disclosed

[Kinekia]

I’m 25 weeks pregnant.

My original manager knew from 6 weeks in January as HG (severe morning sickness) kicked in at 6 weeks and I ended up on the sick for 2 months. After 2 months I returned as I’d found a medication protocol that allowed
me to get back to normality. I worked in an entry level customer service role. They have dozens of staff so my pregnancy didn’t really affect the team that much.

An internal role came up within the business in March. It would essentially be a promotion. Pay rise, more responsibilities (but generally nicer hours and less front-line customer contact, which is a huge bonus), no weekends, smaller team. I applied expecting nothing to come of it. I surprisingly got invited for an interview in April. I was 20 weeks when I interviewed. I had pondered over whether to disclose the pregnancy at the interview. This internal department is in a different part of the building to where I worked so they don’t know me at all. And my line manager at the time confirmed they wouldn’t tell them about the pregnancy and that it was up to me when I disclose. This job role that had come up was something I’ve desired to get into ever since joining the company, and I really wanted to give it my best shot, so I decided not to disclose, as was my legal right.

I interviewed at 20 weeks in April and felt I hid the bump well. We clicked really well at interview and they really liked me. They asked about pre-booked holidays etc. they then asked “Is there anything else we need to know about?” and I cheerfully said “no”. I felt awful about this at the time but on the other hand, as I said, I wanted them to review me as a candidate fairly without just being seen as “the pregnant candidate”.

Middle of May I got offered the role and accepted. The call where they offered the role was very rushed as they were snowed under, and I didn’t get chance to disclose the pregnancy as she said “Right I’ll be in touch when I’ve got a start date I need to go now, take care!” and abruptly hung up.

The next day (my final day before 17 days of annual leave) I messaged the new manager asking if she had time for a call and she never replied. I wanted to disclose the pregnancy then. I then went on the pre-booked
holiday and still didn’t have a start date.

Came back from my holiday and returned to work 26th May after the bank holiday and went to sit in my usual part of the office and got pulled away by my new manager, taken to their department and told I’m starting straight away. By this point I’m 25 weeks so I had to tell them. It was all quite rushed and they’ve been off with me ever since. Nobody has said anything but they aren’t friendly with me like they have been prior and at one point I was asked why I hadn’t disclosed at interview. They exclude me from friendly chat and I have to ask them what they want me to be doing with my time and my training.

I do feel awful for inconveniencing them but I don’t think I did anything wrong by not disclosing at interview. I had intended to tell them earlier than when I did but I just never got the right moment. I thought we’d have a time to sit down together and go through contracts etc and I would’ve mentioned it then but this never happened.

I have seen there is another woman on the team who is pregnant and due to go on leave so I suspect they had intended me to take over from her and that is why they are pissed off. They hadn’t told me this at interview though. Ironically I’m actually due before this other woman so I can see why they are fuming but legally I’ve not done anything wrong. It does prove that if I’d have disclosed at interview they probably would’ve not hired me and would’ve made up a non-pregnancy related reason to justify it.

Am I am awful employee? I’m concerned that my relationship with my managers will never recover from this and it’s a shame as I really have a huge interest in this role and have every intention of going back full-time after mat leave.

No you absolutely do not need to disclose that. Pregnancy is a protected characteristic and no one needs to know - same way as you wouldn't disclose having adhd, a prosthetic leg or back problem

The problem is that they will find ways to punish you for it. Workplace discrimination is rarely outright and usually takes the form of being sabotaged/picked on in some way

You protected yourself from discrimination. Don't feel bad. It is annoying for them but they will get through it and when you've been back from mat leave for a bit it'll be forgotten (and other staff will have come and gone). I feel this would be more of a grey area if we were talking about a small business but as it is far from that I feel you protected yourself and the big corporation will cope.

Self-pity from small business owners who are unwilling to comply with equality law is very unattractive

I don’t think you did anything wrong OP. Not for an internal promotion. Presumably your company know you are pregnant, but your HR team clearly didn’t let them know (quite rightly) that an internal candidate was pregnant. Is it a pain for the manager of the team? Yes. But the alternative would have been for them to discriminate against you, and that’s just the law that they have to work within, same as any other business.

I’d go to the manager, say, I know the team might be p’d off that I didn’t disclose the pregnancy, but I didn’t want to put anyone in the position of subconsciously discriminating against me. You obviously thought I’d be a good fit for the role, I’ll work my socks off over these next few months, and you can expect the same after my mat leave. And point out that you’re getting the sense that people are being off with you about being pregnant and say you hope this can draw a line under. Then, if things don’t improve follow your complaints procedure.

Agree - this massively pisses me off, but the alternative is worse.

You were absolutely within you'r rights not to tell them during the interview process. They wouldn't have offered it to you.

But I understand that they are annoyed by the inconvenience.

Just don't be an arse when you go back and it will be water under the bridge.

My colleague was offered the job next to me the day before she started her maternity leave. It's the civil service so they do that. Then they had to readvertise for the ML cover so i was on my own fir months and now she's coming back she won't come in on the normal office days and she can't work the usual hours so I'll never be able to leave early (flexible hours only available for her, not me, due to her nursery issues). I'm cheesed off with her already although everything she's done is legally correct.

Actually @ClematisBirdbath said it better!

I said up thread that one of the candidates for a job i was observing disclosed being pregnant and was not employed (not necessarily because of that).

The woman who got the job lasted two months before she got a better offer! That's less time than the op will be in post before maternity leave I think.

The point at which only the parent gets flexible hours is the point at which it does become really unfair, I think. Discrimination based upon maternity can go both ways - eg being perceived as immature for not being a parent, or not being offered the same flexibility as parents, as though it's only parents who have any actual responsibilities in life.

Id be internally miffed, but as a woman I’d completely understand why you didn’t disclose it and be looking forward to you coming back given I thought you were the best person for the job. Women returning from maternity leave are some of the best employees in my experience.

What a pregnant women who need a job actually supposed to do??

Stay in the job they're in?

Most people will not just leave a new job after 2 months.

What if they have lost their job, or are at risk of losing it?

YABU. Whilst they had no right to ask and you were under no obligation to tell them, the fact that you knowingly withheld the information means they hired you under false pretences. They advertised/interviewed for the job because they needed someone to do that job - not someone who's going to go off on maternity leave after a few short months, which means they'll have to go through that exact same rigmarole all over again. Surely you can't blame them for being pissed off?