AIBU for pulling into a private drive after my car failed?

[1hatchling1fledgling]

WWYD? AIBU. In a big traffic jam on an urban dual carriageway for ages. Suddenly my entire dashboard lights up like a Christmas tree, lose power steering, brakes etc. hazards on and get my car somehow into the left hand lane and then into the huge drive of a large house. Knock and explain. Call RAC who have arrived when the husband gets home. I instantly apologise and he says “yes my wife told me that you had abandoned your car in my drive” (I’d waited in the car). “Get it moved now”. So should I have (a) blocked one lane of the road in a heatwave, (b) blocked the pavement and cycleway or (c) done what I did. Fault transpired to be alternator malfunction at low speeds. I was quite upset, but the professional and kind RAC operative was brilliant. He needed to follow me home since I had his battery. So I gave him a bottle of lemonade and a couple of ice lollies, as wearing those fluorescents on a hot day he was really suffering with the heat. Note driveway/front garden large enough to accommodate 8 cars comfortably

So even once you could see it was a lone woman broken down and the RAC van you'd still be annoyed?

It's not that it's a "one-off", it's that the alternatives either potentially risked an accident (if brakes or engine failed - I've had my dashboard told me my handbrake failed when it was a different, minor issue) or would definitely have blocked an entire road lane for a long time. Including blocking ambulances and hundreds of other people.

Not the number of times she has done it.

Did you not grasp that? It's been spelled out by OP quite clearly.

no. one of them is a one-off. the other happens regularly. Regular inconvenience vs a one-off inconvenience

Depends on the situation.

If you pulled into my driveway, I wouldn't be able to get out. I have a lot of important appointments at the moment and, if I had to get out for one of those, you'd have to help me push your car out so I could get out to one of them. I'd be annoyed at that.

If I had a larger driveway where I could get around you, I wouldn't care. As long as you didn't stop him getting into his driveway or you being there didn't force him to park on the carriageway himself, he should have let it go.

I wouldn't have pulled into a private driveway, just out of the way as much as possible. Yes, it might inconvenience people, but it happens regularly that people break down and cause a bottle neck.

I wouldn't worry about it too much OP. What's done is done and hopefully your car isn't too costly to fix.

A new alternator shouldn't be that expensive- it's not what I'd call a major repair. Plus, labour shouldn't be too much if it's simply a case of replacing that.

(But bear in mind I don't know what type of car you have, what kind of mechanics you have access to, whether you're the kind of person who would buy second hand parts off eBay etc. Can you get 3 quotes, or is your car already in a garage, meaning they've got you over a barrel?)

I'd have been initially annoyed but would have understood once the situation had been explained. Yanbu OP you made the best you could out of a difficult situation.

Probably just stressed and tired and you said it was hot. Sorry he was rude and you were stressed. I would say most people these days are careful as to who is near their house. I personally don't see anything wrong with what you did but I can kind of get his point of some rando in his driveway. People are inconsiderate asshats.

This. I would be a little concerned as to what he is like with his wife.

You did what you had to do in the circumstances. 'Get it moved now' indeed, as if you wouldn't have moved it to where you were going, if you were able! I hope his car breaks down in an awkward place. Pillock.

I live on a sleepy road but if I didn't and someone had to use my drive I'd have not minded at all and would've probably offered them a cup of tea. What happened to manners and being kind.

Thanks. RAC quoted £750 for a mobile mechanic. I’ve a lovely garage at the end of my road that I use, but like all good garages they tend to book up for weeks (for things like MOTs and services). I’ll pop in tomorrow and ask them; wish I had puppy dog eyes! The RAC man was very thorough, swapped out the battery so I could drive home. Followed me whilst charging my battery in his van to swap them back again. So I gave him some ice lollies and cold lemonade as he was sweltering in his ppe. And couldn’t have been nicer or explained things better.

your probably one of many who use his driveway as a lay-by so he was pissed off

he wouldn’t careless about your car or blocking other people just someone in his drive

take it on the chin and move on

YANBU. My alternator went back in February on a very stormy evening. I had no idea what was wrong as the dash went blank, power steering failed, lights went off and even the windscreen wipers stopped, I could barely see out of the window! I was on a busy main road, luckily there was a turning to a Waitrose car park about a minute away, and I was able to turn in there and park. When it happened I was terrified I was going to cause an accident, but I couldn't just stop the car as it would have totally blocked a really busy road. I was so worried that all the other drivers would be thinking "What in the world is this crazy woman doing, driving in the dark and pouring rain with no lights and no windscreen wipers!"

The staff in Waitrose couldn't have been kinder about me having dumped my car there, they were much nicer than the chap you encountered OP! I also had a lovely chap from the RAC who came out and got me back on the road the next day.

Judgmental, much?

What an awful man. I can’t imagine saying something like that to anyone. Was this in the south-east of England by any chance? (I am from there but moved away and really notice how rude/power trippy some of the men are when I go back.)

Privacy 😂. Do you routinely run around your drive naked? Perhaps you would be worried that said driver would get out and go around your house peering in windows? Presumably a stranded motorist wouldn’t be planning to set up home on your drive or bring their entire family round for fun and games. Honestly, I know many MNers are anti-social to the point of lunacy but privacy. FFS!

It was a decision that had to be made very quickly! I'd have done the same thing I think.

Good for you if your critical thinking skills enable you to rationalise every option/outcome when you only have a few seconds to decide!

I doubt it happens that often, if ever. If it did, I'd just put up gates.

My point was a woman at home alone at the time. As I have been.

Although, the effect is the same and it’s all inconvenience from the householders point of view.

I still think that what the OP did was the right thing for all of the other road users, but it’s not something I would have done myself. I’d have broken down on the road and called 999 and then the breakdown company. If I was blocking a main road I’d also get out of the car, much as is advised if you break down on a motorway, and hoped that the police come to sort out the traffic.

I’d also have hoped that perhaps some kindly passers by would help push the car to a safer place - like the garage the OP mentioned - because they didn’t want to be held up any longer than necessary. I think that would have probably sorted the problem out pretty quickly, and shared the inconvenience around rather than it being dumped on one driveway. But I also expect I’d have caused more inconvenience overall, but in a less personal way.

No why do you ask. No judgement, I was just trying to describe the house without going so far as to screen grab google maps. Which bit is judgemental? Do you have a problem?

I had to do this as a teen OP. My clutch broke (very old mini) as I was driving down a steep hill. I could still steer the car but knew something drastic was wrong so just drove straight into the drive of the house at the bottom of the hill and parked it. Asked to borrow their phone as I had left my mobile and they offered me a cup of tea whilst I waited. It helps that it was the village vicars house but I would have expected most people to be kind! We've all been there.

i don't even dare to think what people who think now how drives and houses and money but have no heart will discover one day

Didn’t think to dial 999, is that a legit use of emergency services?

I’ve had the opposite experience: country road with no pavement and tore tire on a pot hole, edged to the side of the road but not ideal. Chap in large house about 150m down the road, comes out to check I’m okay and we mange to gently drive the car to his drive. He let me wait there for two hours until the AA arrived and offered drinks and use of loo. Dh was with me in my mum’s car (long story) so we were both parked on his drive. We were so relieved to be off the road and he was so accommodating we went back the next day to drop off two bottles of wine as a thank you.

Do you mean my question when you say “the people who buy them want a huge house but can’t afford one on a quiet residential street so buy one on a main road which likely does not attract such a premium as a leafy avenue”

that sounds a bit bitter and judgmental to me.

Buckingham Palace is much bigger, you wouldn’t have space for trooping the colour on this driveway unless you were using Barbie ponies.

If someone would do this and post pictures, I would be eternally grateful.