AIBU for pulling into a private drive after my car failed?

[1hatchling1fledgling]

WWYD? AIBU. In a big traffic jam on an urban dual carriageway for ages. Suddenly my entire dashboard lights up like a Christmas tree, lose power steering, brakes etc. hazards on and get my car somehow into the left hand lane and then into the huge drive of a large house. Knock and explain. Call RAC who have arrived when the husband gets home. I instantly apologise and he says “yes my wife told me that you had abandoned your car in my drive” (I’d waited in the car). “Get it moved now”. So should I have (a) blocked one lane of the road in a heatwave, (b) blocked the pavement and cycleway or (c) done what I did. Fault transpired to be alternator malfunction at low speeds. I was quite upset, but the professional and kind RAC operative was brilliant. He needed to follow me home since I had his battery. So I gave him a bottle of lemonade and a couple of ice lollies, as wearing those fluorescents on a hot day he was really suffering with the heat. Note driveway/front garden large enough to accommodate 8 cars comfortably

Someone’s broken down on your driveway 6 days a week? My goodness!! 🙄🙄

This is MN so I can imagine the opposite of this thread 😂

WIBU to block the cycle/pavement/road with my broken down car rather than pull onto a driveway?

Crowd: Yes ! Totally unreasonable!! Couldnt you have just used the driveway and explained to the resident? People are trying to get home/have kids to collect etc etc

You did the right thing OP. He just happened to be a bit strange. Most unfortunate. Usually people are quite understanding.

Will you also be the indignant person who complains that members of the public don’t help out in emergencies?

It was quite clearly an emergency and not a CF park and dash.

It might be annoying to him, and it's valid to be annoyed, but he showed absolutely no grace or class in dealing with it.

He was a rude pig.
No need for it.
You made the correct decision.
What a nasty twat.
So unnecessary.
Many would have come out and brought you a drink or offered tea, I certainly would have.

No Buckingham Palace is much bigger, you wouldn’t have space for trooping the colour on this driveway unless you were using Barbie ponies. You know those massive detached houses you sometimes see on main throughfairs, sprawling so you wonder how many hallways there must be to reach the different rooms, these houses are like that. The whole front garden was stone chippings with no lawn or flower beds. I imagine that the people who buy them want a huge house but can’t afford one on a quiet residential street so buy one on a main road which likely does not attract such a premium as a leafy avenue. Can anyone else describe these sort or houses better? Set well back from the road etc?

Gosh people are so weird on here! It was a one off, emergency situation and the alternative of blocking a dual carriageway or pavement/cycle path could have been dangerous. I'd have offered you a drink and snack!

Wife understood your dilemma, showed willing to help you. Big Billy Balls husband wants to be the bully over his "estate". Think we've got the measure of him.

I would not have pulled in to a private drive. I would hate it if someone did that to me. I would have pulled into the left carriageway and put my warning triangle ahead. Encountered that situation today on a busy slip road of a dual carriageway, broken down car in one lane, caused a traffic build up, it happens.

Whether I or anyone else would be ok with it, doesn’t matter.

You would clearly not be OK with it, but you're in the minority thank God.

We have the option to be kind and understanding - why wouldn't you choose that?

It's not as though this distressed woman is going to think "oooh, I can park there all the time now" is it?

And the way you phrase it as "having the right to his property" is really over egging it and shows you see things in a way I just don't. She wasn't stealing his drive. OP didn't want to stop on it.

I think, given the situation you did the right thing.

I think it was rude and wouldn’t have been something I’d have done. We get people come up our drive daily getting lost and in the past have woken to finding camper vans on our private land so I have little patience.

I’m guessing that he’d had a pig of a day at work or that his journey home had been fraught by traffic jams too. In this heat. RAC guy asked if I wanted him to handle it. He was a great ambassador for his company, shout out to all breakdown folk on here!

The OP did say what the options were. That was the whole premise of her post. Did you even read it?

So I’ve broken down on a duel carriageway before and RAC advice was to call 999, I felt a muppet doing so but actually it was an incredibly scary experience. Police arrived soon afterwards and towed me to a safe place to pull in and wait for RAC. I wouldn’t have pulled into someone’s private driveway as I’ve no idea what the issue with my car is and the potential of inconveniencing a complete stranger! Can you imagine pissing oil everywhere for example 😳 that being said the guy seemed rude. But you were on his property so he doesn’t have to be ok with that 🤷🏻‍♀️

No, one person will have broken down, another is lost and needs to check directions, one needs to make a phone call, one is early to pick their kids up for school and needs somewhere to wait, one is just dropping something off for the elderly neighbour who doesn’t have parking, one might be a delivery driver who finds my driveway easier to pull into than the neighbours who has gates, one is someone turning round…

they all have a reason or excuse. They all see it as a one off. But for those of us with houses that front onto certain roads- your exceptional circumstances are our regular occurrence.

On an urban dual carriageway? Even if it had a pavement you'd be half hanging in the road - pretty sure the Highway Code states you should get a dead car (and yourself) somewhere safe.

OP's situation is very different to your friend and you'd think knob head homeowner would have some compassion seeing the RAC van.

People saying YABU are like chatGPT in that misgendering glitch…

Then if it’s such a problem install a gate?

I was in a panic. So many lights showing brakes steering everything. I think if the RAC hadn’t been there at the time then tears would have flowed in greater profusion. I would probably have tried tentatively to move it, but asked his advice if the steering etc was still effectively inoperative. Just why did he say abandoned when I was with the car? Like I was junking it in his driveway? Would he have offered to help me move it if he hated it that much? I’m not upset now, more worried about the big bill for a replacement alternator. Does anyone here know much about alternators? That it seems to be charging at high speed not at low speed. Could that be just a loose connection rather than a broken part?

I think you should be more understanding @1hatchling1fledgling . He probably has a highly stressful job that involves being immensely rude to many people all day in order to earn the vast amounts of money to pay for his 8 car drive. It’s probably quite difficult for him to switch off.

I think you could have handled the situation with more grace and compassion. Maybe practise your grovelling and forelock tugging in case you’re ever in a similar situation.

As for the driving dilemma, if you had wrestled your wheel in the other direction, you could have blocked two lanes of traffic right outside his gate and given him a much more interesting situation to be rude about. Really selfish op.

ExitPursuedByABare
Clearly his wife wasn’t bothered. He’s a bully.

The wife may have been bothered, she could have rang him/ been freaked out by a strange car coming in. I wouldn’t have minded myself btw

Christ.....you'd rather fanny about with warning triangles on a dual carriageway, then steer yourself to safety?
I would welcome someone using my drive if their car broke down.

Mad. I did this once in a very similar situation and had a lovely cup and tea and chat with the people in their kitchen. They were so kind, And I actually blocked their drive as pulled in in a panic and then it wouldn’t start again.

There is a filling station about 300m away on the other side of a roundabout with traffic lights on. I had all dashboard lights showing, no power steering or abs, and traffic was literally jammed. Do you think that I should have tried to get there? That’s the essence of my question. I’m not implying that using someone’s private parking was the correct thing to do, it’s just what I did in the panic of the moment.